This was one bored husband!!! - SV650.org

05-08-06, 08:23 PM

12 March 2005

Jon Walker

Store Manager

Kmart store 4855

Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503

Mrs. Fenton

35 Rasmussen Street

Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies on tape.

We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.

The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what happened.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.

September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.

September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”

October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.

November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.

December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!

NO! It's those voices again!"

December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

John F. Walker

Store Manager

05-08-06, 08:30 PM

Funny I should try that then I wouldn't have to go shopping

05-08-06, 09:12 PM

Variation on a very old joke...

Stu · 05-08-06, 09:43 PM

Glad I didn't hurt my ribs toady, because that was side splittingly funny!

05-08-06, 09:46 PM

05-08-06, 08:23 PM	#1
nickj Guest Posts: n/a	This was one bored husband!!! 12 March 2005 Jon Walker Store Manager Kmart store 4855 Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503 Mrs. Fenton 35 Rasmussen Street Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503 Dear Mrs. Fenton, During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies on tape. We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store. The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what happened. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy. September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows. September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?” October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose. November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels. December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! John F. Walker Store Manager

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
thanks to my wonderful husband this week	Mrs_giggles	Bikes - Talk & Issues	8	04-05-09 05:40 PM
Jim.... the thoughtful husband.............RIP!	LWR GERRY	Idle Banter	9	14-02-09 08:28 PM
Bored? try these.	neio79	Idle Banter	3	01-06-07 07:06 PM
Loving Husband...	Swiss	Idle Banter	5	24-08-06 03:20 PM

05-08-06, 08:30 PM	#2
BILLY Guest Posts: n/a	Funny I should try that then I wouldn't have to go shopping

05-08-06, 09:12 PM	#3
Iansv Guest Posts: n/a	Variation on a very old joke...

05-08-06, 09:43 PM	#4
Stu Trinity Mega Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Guildford Posts: 8,027	Glad I didn't hurt my ribs toady, because that was side splittingly funny!