Stars in their eyes joke - SV650.org

17-10-06, 04:28 PM

A talented young lad (Simon) turns up on the doorsteps of the TV studio wishing to audition for "stars in thier eyes" Once the producers had heard the boy sing they were in awe of his voice and didn't hesitate putting him into saturdays show.

The night of the show came and the contestants were all back stage getting ready, fine tuning there voices and getting the look a like make up applied.
Then it was time for our Simon to take stage....he walks on to great applause and is greeted by the host Matthew Kelly, a bit of idle chit chat takes place and then Matthew asks who he's going to be....too which our intreppid young hero breaks down in tears, after a consolling him the lad asks if he can tell a bit of a tragic story.
So he proceeds to tell Matthew and the audience....

"Last year myself and my Uncle Jim went on a safari to Kenya, whilst trekking across the savana we were confronted by a pride of lions, we both froze as they started circling us, My brave uncle said he'd make a decoy in order for me too escape...so he started waving his arms around and then sprinted off, all the lions but one chased after him and mauled him to death whilst i was left to fight off the single lion, which eventually cost me my right arm, left leg, both ears and my nose.
As fortune would have it i was picked up by the local tribe and taken off to the village where the witch doctor manged to find my uncles remains and sew on his arm, leg, ears and nose."

The lad starts crying again after dragging up such an emotional story.

The audience are crying.

Matthew Kellys crying.
Matthew then asks who are you going to be?

"Tonight Matthew i'm going to be...........

SIMON AND HALF UNCLE"

I IS BACK

17-10-06, 04:33 PM

17-10-06, 04:37 PM

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

17-10-06, 04:54 PM

Very good

Richie · 17-10-06, 05:04 PM

Dohhhh... should have see that coming... very good.

17-10-06, 05:11 PM

Looks like I'm going to need to dig deeper in my vault

17-10-06, 05:17 PM

Oh. My. God.

Stingo · 17-10-06, 05:23 PM

You are indeed the 'comedy meister'!

anna · 17-10-06, 05:30 PM

GROAN...... here he goes again!

17-10-06, 05:46 PM

Took me 2 reads of the punch line to get it.

Well done you have managed to beat Jdubya for the title of Worst org comedian with one joke. True genius!!

17-10-06, 04:28 PM	#1
cuffy Guest Posts: n/a	Stars in their eyes joke A talented young lad (Simon) turns up on the doorsteps of the TV studio wishing to audition for "stars in thier eyes" Once the producers had heard the boy sing they were in awe of his voice and didn't hesitate putting him into saturdays show. The night of the show came and the contestants were all back stage getting ready, fine tuning there voices and getting the look a like make up applied. Then it was time for our Simon to take stage....he walks on to great applause and is greeted by the host Matthew Kelly, a bit of idle chit chat takes place and then Matthew asks who he's going to be....too which our intreppid young hero breaks down in tears, after a consolling him the lad asks if he can tell a bit of a tragic story. So he proceeds to tell Matthew and the audience.... "Last year myself and my Uncle Jim went on a safari to Kenya, whilst trekking across the savana we were confronted by a pride of lions, we both froze as they started circling us, My brave uncle said he'd make a decoy in order for me too escape...so he started waving his arms around and then sprinted off, all the lions but one chased after him and mauled him to death whilst i was left to fight off the single lion, which eventually cost me my right arm, left leg, both ears and my nose. As fortune would have it i was picked up by the local tribe and taken off to the village where the witch doctor manged to find my uncles remains and sew on his arm, leg, ears and nose." The lad starts crying again after dragging up such an emotional story. The audience are crying. Matthew Kellys crying. Matthew then asks who are you going to be? "Tonight Matthew i'm going to be........... SIMON AND HALF UNCLE" I IS BACK

17-10-06, 05:04 PM	#5
Richie fantabulas Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Nr Durham Posts: 4,940	Dohhhh... should have see that coming... very good. __________________ My Flickr photos

17-10-06, 05:23 PM	#8
Stingo Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Plymouth, Devon - mostly. Posts: 527	You are indeed the 'comedy meister'! __________________ Twitter: @poseidon_ashore

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17-10-06, 04:37 PM	#3
ArtyLady Guest Posts: n/a	ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

17-10-06, 05:11 PM	#6
Jdubya Guest Posts: n/a	Looks like I'm going to need to dig deeper in my vault

17-10-06, 05:30 PM	#9
anna Member Mega Poster Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Tower Hamlets but with Shutters on the windows Posts: 1,522	GROAN...... here he goes again!

17-10-06, 05:46 PM	#10
Law Guest Posts: n/a	Took me 2 reads of the punch line to get it. Well done you have managed to beat Jdubya for the title of Worst org comedian with one joke. True genius!!