being british!

Being British
>
>Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
>Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
>Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
>Americanshows on a Japanese TV.
>
>And the most British thing of all?
>
>Suspicion of all things foreign!
>
>Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
>the
>back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
>cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
>DIET Coke.
>
>Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
>the
>counters.
>
>Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands
>of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
>garage.
>
>Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
>have
>call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to
>in the first place.
>
>Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
>rink.
>
>
>NOT TO MENTION...
>
>3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
>
>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
>shirts.
>
>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
>screwdrivers.
>
>31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
>the
>fairy lights were plugged in.
>
>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
>decorations
>were chocolate.
>
>British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
>cracker-pulling accidents.
>
>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
>cigarette in their mouth.
>
>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
>trying
>to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
>
>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control
>Scalextric cars.
>
>And finally...
>
>In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls
>incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Ah, what a glorious nation !