Advice please: Tips for being a "Best Man"

Following on from Manguish's "Getting Married" thread, I'm in a different predicament; one of my friends has asked me to be his Best Man next summer.

This, together with the fact that he's getting married, has confirmed what I've long suspected - the guy is totally nuts

Anyway, I've agreed to do it, so I need a few hints and tips about:

1. What I will be expected to do
2. What I could do in addition to 1
3. Ideas for a "Stag Event" (I'm assuming that will be my job)
4. The Speech

Whilst I'm hoping for sensible answers, I realise that you lot are likely to offer all sorts of suggestions - keep it clean, eh?

Many thanks

[Luckypants]

Originally Posted by Jabba

Following on from Manguish's "Getting Married" thread, I'm in a different predicament; one of my friends has asked me to be his Best Man next summer.

This, together with the fact that he's getting married, has confirmed what I've long suspected - the guy is totally nuts

Anyway, I've agreed to do it, so I need a few hints and tips about:

1. What I will be expected to do <---- ASK HIM (and his intended) This is the starting point)
2. What I could do in addition to 1 <-- talk to him about why he getting married, so you understand what he wants for the day and afterwards. advice on clothing, hair cut, honeymoon destinations, speech, be his best mate. On the day, do not drink until they have left on honeymoon. Make sure you know the names of all the main players (include vicar, caterer, photographer etc as well as family). Know what is supposed to be happening and when, what photographs, flowers etc and then make sure it happens so the bride and groom have no need to stress. Have the numbers of taxis, hotels and the venues for receptions etc in your phone to give out (I went and got a load of business cards from vatious ones). Be the best man there and make sure as far as you can nothing goes wrong. Easy!!! Get the ushers organised to help you out.
3. Ideas for a "Stag Event" (I'm assuming that will be my job) You know him better, do something he will enjoy
4. The Speech <- Don't mention previous relationships, take the **** from him, but build him back up at the end so everyone knows what a great bloke he is. By this point the bride should be bursting with pride over her new hubby.

Whilst I'm hoping for sensible answers, I realise that you lot are likely to offer all sorts of suggestions - keep it clean, eh?

Many thanks

Just done this for my brother. Knackering day but was worth it. They had a great time, they think there were no hitches (were one or two) and think I'm a great bloke.

I'm sure I left a load of stuff out, but others will fill in the blanks.

don't sweat about doing a good job, you will. Your friend has confidence in you or he would not have asked you.

Originally Posted by Luckypants

advice on .......... haircut...

I think I may seek the sage counsel of Scoobs on that one.

[Spiderman]

What he said above.

i had to do this 2 yrs ago for my best mate but it was easy enough.

The speech was a bugger tho but there are plenty of sample ones online to give you some ideas.

This bit of my speech did have them all looking a little concerned. During the announcments and messages from those who couldnt make it... "Michelle, i'm so sorry i couldnt be there for your special day. Not a day goes by without me wondering what went wrong between us and how can i try to win you back. I'll never forget the times we shared together from the naked scuba dives to the champagne sunset ballon rides. Forever thinking of you, Brad Pitt*"

*obviously you replace this name with any famous person you think/know she fancies and has no hope in hell with.

Quite amusing seeing the looks on the faces of the families turn from "why the hell are you reading this you idiot, if its from an old flame" to "Ah, phew. You little git!!"

hth

Get loaded and then paw at the brides breasts and make a move on any other of the wedding party. It is also obligatory to be sick inside someone hat.

Fin.

Originally Posted by Spiderman

hth

It's a good start....... keep 'em coming

Originally Posted by ASM-Forever

It is also obligatory to be sick inside someone hat.

Think I'll give that a miss, but am happy to report back if anyone else does

Think, too, that I might re-watch James Fleet's speech in Four Weddings........ a classic

[fizzwheel]

I've done best man duties twice...

Originally Posted by Jabba

1. What I will be expected to do

Ask the bride to be.. TBH most weddings it not to much, you might be expected to annouce the speeches, or they might have a master of cermonies provided by the location the reception is at that can do it for you. The first time I was best man, they had a master of ceremonies, the 2nd time it was a smaler location and wedding and as each person got up to speak the did their bit and then introduced the next person and it just rolled along like that.

Originally Posted by Jabba

2. What I could do in addition to 1

Anything and everything, running about, doing errands, anything that helps them organise the day and then on the day just make sure they have everything they need and that any guests that have special requirements are looked after, this might be drinks or food, or helping out relatives, sorting out taxis and stuff like that, little things that make the day go that bit more smoothly, it might not seem much to you but it makes a big difference.

Originally Posted by Jabba

3. Ideas for a "Stag Event" (I'm assuming that will be my job)

Again ask the Groom if theres anything specific that he wants to do. The last few stags I've been on have been.

Go Karting during the afternoon
Back to hotel shower and change
Go for food, normally a curry
Hit the pubs, clubs, Gentlemans establishments if you know what i mean... Remember you might be catering for a big group, or a group with mixed ideas of what "Fun" is, if you keep it simple its easier to organsie and you'll have less hassle on the weekend or night.

You could substitue karting, for off road driving, quad biking, or paint balling or something like that...

Or if you have a bit more cash, my brother went to Dublin on a stag do and he really enjoyed that.

Originally Posted by Jabba

4. The Speech

Keep it simple, be funny, but not rude, and try to stay away from dodgy material that might offend people.

If you know the Groom and Bride well, then you should have plenty of material... Just be yourself, keep it short and relax, dont get completely p*ssed before you start speaking... It might seem a good idea but its not..

IIRC your supposed to thank the bridesmaids, and read out cards etc from those that cant make it...

On one occasion I packed a "Survival kit" into a box and gave that to the bride, explaining that I'd known him along time and now it was her job to look after him and not mine, and that the things in the box would help her look after him, then they fished each thing out of the box I said a litte story that related to what he'd just got out of the box and explained why he needed it whilst gently taking the mick out of him, it worked really well and it took some of the attention away from me as it was a big wedding and I'm not the most confident of public speakers, even I was surprised about how well it had gone down. I had the guests roaring with laughter.

I was best man for my brother and that was a smaller wedding so I was not so nervous, I kept that a bit more personal and again we had laughs but it was nice to have a bit of sentiment in there to as I recalled tales of what we used to get up to when we were kids.

HTH

Cheers Fizz......

At the moment I'm favouring a stag weekend in Blackpool - was there a couple of weeks ago and a group of lads were having a whale of a time on the Pleasure Beach There's a few *cough* Gentlemen's Entertainments *cough* there too (so I've been told ).

Haven't met the bride yet........ something of a whirl-wind romance... aw!! Her name is Rachael which, funnily enough, is the name of his last girlfriend. We, the lads, think he got a tattoo with her name on it before they broke up

I promise not to start my speech with "This is the second time today that I've got up from a warm seat, paper in hand......." line. Very dull.

I think you need to check that the organ is working. Very important, that.

I've been best man three times. My advice is don't do it if your mate is marrying your favourite ex-girlfriend, even if you are married to her best mate who is also his ex.

Don't ask me how I know this, I just do, ok.