Oooops, I just parped in the office...<snigger>

[squirrel_hunter]

Ok this has amused me so heres a little story of my own...

Me, Stretchie, and Mac99 did a track day with Buell at Mallory Park. We decided to make it a bit of a break away and arrived the night before and checked into a cheap hotel with the plan of getting some takeaway once we arrived. Luckily we didn't need to leave the hotel as there was an Indian restaurant on site. The food was really nice and was good value. We enjoyed the meal and then retired to our rooms for the night.

In the morning we meet ready for the track. At this point we all comment on last nights curry and how in one way or another it was still with us.

At the circuit waiting for the safety briefing to start I can feel something brewing. I decide that its best if I just go for a short walk out to the balcony to relieve myself. Lucky no one was around I think to myself as I return to the room and sit back down.

At this point I learn a very important lesson...

Leathers.

Leathers keep the air out. They also keep the air in.

That is until you sit down and expel any air that may be trapped by the leathers.

Mac99 and Stretchie got hit first, followed by the bloke in the row in front and a couple of guys behind.



That night we went out for some food.

my best one must have gone on for about 15 seconds and the best thing about it was..... i was sitting on the GF at the time, as she was anoying me when i was doing work so decided to fart on her (how imature :P ) but i dident know it was going to be a thunderously loud and smelly fart she wouldent talk to me for about a hour after HEHE now i just have to say i will fart on you and she run's in the opposite direction

[Ratty]

I work on the factory floor on nights. It's like that scene from Blazing Saddles all night every night ( can't put up a youtube link because it's blocked at work ). You can tell who's dropped one by the sound. It's like a signiture.

Farts are like kids... you kinda like your own.

Ratty

Originally Posted by dizzyblonde

Why is it when blokes fart everyone laughs, and when a woman does it, people fall over in surprise?

Personally its a natural occurence, better out than in, and much better to not go bang with spontaneous combustion...much less mess

I don't know I like the occasional spontaneous bang =p

Originally Posted by thulfi

And as for women not farting as much as men. Well all humans make about the same quantities of gas, so if y'all hold it in, I'm afraid all that means ladies is that you are just farting away in your sleep when your sphincter muscles are relaxed and you have no control over the matter.

Tell me about it!!
The missus practically snores out her ass some nights!
Defo need to alter the diet there I think.

[flymo]

Originally Posted by psychocannon

tell me about it!!
The missus practically snores out her ass some nights!
Defo need to alter the diet there i think.

pmsl :d

Originally Posted by PsychoCannon

The missus practically snores out her ass some nights!

Thought that people snored on inhalation? Your missus has a rare talent


And I now have an unfortunate mental image.

[Bri w]

Originally Posted by PsychoCannon

Tell me about it!!
The missus practically snores out her ass some nights!
Defo need to alter the diet there I think.

I think her married her sister.

It doesn't help that my missus has colitis and can kill an elephant at 100 paces. I've even gone and slept in another room some nights.

So who does this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs2g5XyMnn0

and this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO1MFF75egc

I bet some of you are like this when trying to sleep

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEiIyiHRIew

Then of course the fart contest;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zX31wZtRcQ

All viedos are U rated.

Look if you ain't laughing by the end well...I need to do something useful like store up farts up for work!

Just the other day I experienced something not altogether amusing. I entered a building and called the lift.It arrived and the doors opened and a bloke stepped out.

I then boarded the lift and selected my desired floor which was 4 stories higher.

The doors closed and my journey began. At that same instant I realised that the dude who had just exited, had left behind a green calling card. I was trapped in a lift with this ghasatly pong and no escape!

In addition,when I started my engineering apprenticeship way back when, there was this guy who seemed to delight in the fact that when he blew one out he could make the sound peak to a climax as it prolonged. Very odd indeed. It made me wonder how long had he taken to perfect should a "skill" and what kind of accidents might have befallen him in perfecting it.