Roadside shrines

If it is the families wishes then I have no objection.

Originally Posted by Lissa

I wonder if it's another Americanism that's made it's way over here?

Pete and I are in agreement about this issue, and it's not for us either.

Not sure about America but I think it`s more of a continental thing... In Europe we saw loads of them but rather than a bunch of flowers there were actual marble shrines and altars

[Bluepete]

I see it a lot, but I have told Mrs BP that if, heaven forbid, I kill myself on the roads, she must not put flowers up. I just don't like it.

The most flowers I ever saw was after a fatal bike crash. The bike was stolen, the rider was a prolific thief. No other vehicles were involved. The railings were covered in hundreds and hundreds of flowers etc for months. In the end, it smelled like a compost heap.

But, each to their own. If that's how you deal with grief, carry on. No-one should be able to stop you.

Pete

[Supervox]

Originally Posted by Lissa

I wonder if it's another Americanism that's made it's way over here?

Pete and I are in agreement about this issue, and it's not for us either.

I don't think it's an American thing - I don't recall seeing any when I lived over there - I'd say it's more of a Europeanism. if you travel to Greece for instance you'll see one on just about every bend on the 'back roads'; and not just a few flowers or cards either - they go much further and actually build 'proper' shrines or place stone tablets with pictures etc !!

Personally, I think that in the immediate aftermath of the event it gives (as has been said before) a focal point where people, be they friends or just nodding acquaintances can leave flowers, a card or a memento of some kind.

The only time I have contributed to one of these was when a very good friend of mine was killed on his bike at the back end of 2007; apart from visiting the scene to say a little prayer I left a bottle of Magners cider (along with other dozen or so that were already there !!). Even now when I pass the spot I always blip the throttle just to make sure that Rat's awake & let him know that I'm thinking of him - silly ? bizarre ? - possibly, but that's just me.

Originally Posted by jamesrichardson

i think they can have a positive effect on others. i think it can help some people be more aware that some roads are dangerous, might make people think a bit more.

What I was going to say. There's one on the moor top road near me at home where a biker was killed, horrible corner it is and everytime we ride past I always think to slow down (even though I'm not in control of the bike if that makes sense? ).

I do agree that it is a sad thing to see a neglected collection of dying posies on the roadside though. I would prefer to remember someone by planting a tree somewhere, that way not only means you can visit it in your own time without having to replace it and also benefits the environment a wee bit

My three younger kids place a single small bunch of flowers at the spot where their real father died in a car crash though no fault of his own when they were all very young - they do it on the anniversary of the night he died every August. It helps them to remember a good dad and it's their way of showing some repect for someone they still love very dearly.

Having said that, I don't want anyone doing that for me if the worst should happen cos I don't particularly like flowers. I'd rather my kids went out on the lash up town or something similar.

Originally Posted by Lissa

I wonder if it's another Americanism that's made it's way over here?

Pete and I are in agreement about this issue, and it's not for us either.

I don't know if it is an Americanism, but it wouldn't surprise me Lissa.

Edit - just read the rest of the posts!

[G]

Its one of those things. I remember people who have died with memories.....I'm not one for putting flowers anywhere or paying a fortune for yearly prints in the back of a newspaper.

People deal with it different ways.

There are an ever-growing number of these around me.

They are in various states of repair, with many now in a very decayed state.

I’ am sure that for the people that leave flowers etc at the site they have some positive effect at an emotional time. I do wonder when they are neglected whether the deceased has been forgotten or perhaps the original creators have moved away etc. Conversely some have evolved from a pile of flowers to planted areas with bedding plants and shrubs, obviously those serve an ongoing purpose for their creators and the deceased is still remembered.

From a practical point of view I disagree with planting trees, they are very unforgiving things to hit and unfortunately memorials are in prime accident sites, where roadside furniture and trees could/should be considered for removal.

On balance from a personal perspective I would not want a roadside memorial should I be unfortunate enough to need one.

I would also add that I do slow down when I see them.

A bunch of guys near where i live were speeding at about 60-70mph on the way to a large roundabout, they failed to stop and went straight through the barrier into the large pit of nothing in the middle of the roundabout, near the motorway. The flowers there kinda remind me that it's not really worth driving like a *****, but it also reminds me that the people who were close to him want to remember him as someone who died driving his car into a roundabout.

I think they're ok, i wouldn't like to drive past the place my friend died and only be reminded by the newish looking crash barrier because the old one was dented by my buddies head.
Morbid indeed, but acceptable, i guess.