The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 138 - SV650.org

Dave20046 · 07-11-20, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chris8886

Groooooooan!

Bye den!

Biker Biggles · 08-11-20, 09:42 AM

Bye Don I think!

Seeker · 08-11-20, 10:39 AM

A Lasting Impression:
https://twitter.com/ThePoke/status/1325124203859726336

bonus, there's this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th5u...ature=emb_logo

(start it at time 4:14)

Richie · 11-09-21, 03:23 PM

Dad Jokes...
these are really bad...

How can you tell it's a dogwood tree? From the bark.

How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable.

What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

ok

garynortheast · 11-09-21, 04:43 PM

Blimey! Richie, welcome back! Where have you been hiding?

And ...er...yes they are.

redtrummy · 11-12-21, 02:06 PM

The farmer thought his cockerel was getting too old to perform his duties properly in the henhouse, so he bought a young, healthy cockerel and put him out in the yard. The old cockerel says:
"So, you think you are going to take away my job? First you have got to beat me in a running race and since I am so much older than you, give me a head start."
The young cockerel gives him a 5 second lead and starts running, expecting to pass the old cockerel quickly. To his surprise, the old one is pretty fast, but he is gaining on him. Then the farmer comes out the back door with a shotgun and blows the young cockerel away, muttering to himself:
"That's the third cockerel I have bought this week that prefers cockerels to hens!"

littleoldman2 · 18-04-23, 10:02 PM

James Bond walks into a bar
He looks around, and takes a seat next to a very attractive women.

He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The women notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "Been given this state-of-the-art watch. I'm testing it."

The intrigued women says "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?"

Bloke explains "It uses brain waves to talk to me telepathically".

The lady says "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you are not wearing any panties."

The women laughs and replies, "Well , it must be broken because I am wearing panties"

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says,
"Bloody thing's an hour fast"

Craig380 · 19-04-23, 07:36 AM

Why don't A Flock Of Seagulls ever tour the Middle East? Because Iran's so far away.

08-11-20, 09:42 AM	#1372
Biker Biggles Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Barnet Herts Posts: 5,070	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Bye Don I think! __________________ On a clear day we stand there and look further than the ordinary eye can see.

08-11-20, 10:39 AM	#1373
Seeker Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: NE Lincs Posts: 1,111	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes A Lasting Impression: https://twitter.com/ThePoke/status/1325124203859726336 bonus, there's this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th5u...ature=emb_logo (start it at time 4:14) __________________ 2016 SV650AL7 2023 GSX-8S Last edited by Seeker; 08-11-20 at 10:45 AM.

11-09-21, 03:23 PM	#1374
Richie fantabulas Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Nr Durham Posts: 4,940	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Dad Jokes... these are really bad... How can you tell it's a dogwood tree? From the bark. How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya! Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable. What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy. Don't trust atoms. They make up everything! When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off. What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar. ok __________________ My Flickr photos

11-09-21, 04:43 PM	#1375
garynortheast Member Mega Poster Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Mid Wales Posts: 2,589	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Blimey! Richie, welcome back! Where have you been hiding? And ...er...yes they are. __________________ http://www.teulu-cymru.org/cartref.html https://teulu.bandcamp.com/releases

11-12-21, 02:06 PM	#1376
redtrummy Member Join Date: Jan 2019 Location: N W Leicestershire Posts: 262	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes The farmer thought his cockerel was getting too old to perform his duties properly in the henhouse, so he bought a young, healthy cockerel and put him out in the yard. The old cockerel says: "So, you think you are going to take away my job? First you have got to beat me in a running race and since I am so much older than you, give me a head start." The young cockerel gives him a 5 second lead and starts running, expecting to pass the old cockerel quickly. To his surprise, the old one is pretty fast, but he is gaining on him. Then the farmer comes out the back door with a shotgun and blows the young cockerel away, muttering to himself: "That's the third cockerel I have bought this week that prefers cockerels to hens!"

18-04-23, 10:02 PM	#1377
littleoldman2 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Cramlington Northumberland where we are truely blessed Posts: 1,388	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes James Bond walks into a bar He looks around, and takes a seat next to a very attractive women. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The women notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "Been given this state-of-the-art watch. I'm testing it." The intrigued women says "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?" Bloke explains "It uses brain waves to talk to me telepathically". The lady says "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you are not wearing any panties." The women laughs and replies, "Well , it must be broken because I am wearing panties" Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast" __________________ used to be littleoldman but forgot password due to failing memory

19-04-23, 07:36 AM	#1378
Craig380 Member Mega Poster Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 1,274	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Why don't A Flock Of Seagulls ever tour the Middle East? Because Iran's so far away.

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