The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

[Bluepete]

Swiss, I can just imagine you saying that (in character of course)

PMSL!

[Stingo]

Originally Posted by Swiss

And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the
window.

BIG BIG

albowco!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no really hahahahahahahahaha!

I will go to bed giggling tonight for sure.

England Football team.
Seriously what a comedy.
Enough said.

More internet twaddle...

Note to self: 'Cancel credit cards prior to death!

A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and
Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
been $0.00 and is now somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the ANZ Bank:
Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

ANZ:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
ANZ:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

ANZ:
'Excuse me?'

Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
being dead?'

ANZ:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

ANZ:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

ANZ:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

ANZ:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I
can do to help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
her. I don't think she will care.'
ANZ:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'
Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

ANZ: 'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number
1049.'

ANZ:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'

OXO have just released a commererative red and white cube in conjunction with the English state of football, it's called the laughing stock.



If a long condom goes on a long knob and a short condom goes on a short knob, what would you put on a useless knob?













An England shirt

I was in the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin,

3 hours later saw the same 4 men with the same coffin.

Thought to myself, they've lost the f**kin' plot!

Originally Posted by hovis

I was in the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin,

3 hours later saw the same 4 men with the same coffin.

Thought to myself, they've lost the f**kin' plot!

3 Stages in a man`s life.............

SINGLE

MARRIED

DIVORCED

england football team leaving wembley.........















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or is it the sv650 pointys only ride out?