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#1361 |
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Bristol
Posts: 1,200
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We had a random customer call up and ask...
"how far are you away from me?"
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>>> ? <<< Past: Street Triple 765rs, DRZ400s,GSXR1000 K9, VFR800 A8, ZX6R 636 2006, CRF250L, GSXR750 K7, VFR800 A7, GSXR750 L3, Street Triple 675R, MT09 Tracer, SV650s K8, CB250rsd, YBR125... |
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#1362 | |
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sheffield
Posts: 10,274
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I had someone ask me how I make their background image on Zoom centred....she sent a screenshot, it was centred she just needed to shift her **** over to be centred with the camera. I also once had someone ask me how I stop the light switches interfering with their recording equipment (cameras), walked in to inspect , she turned off the lights...and obviously the camera preview went black. That's how light works dear.
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#1363 |
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Riding, North
Posts: 2,664
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Beware - there's more
IDIOT SIGHTING No 5 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked: 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded: 'That's why we ask'. Happened at Luton Airport
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Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow ![]() Now: Street Triple R |
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#1364 |
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Riding, North
Posts: 2,664
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IDIOT SIGHTING No 6
The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded: 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow, Middlesex. (And she's NOT blonde)
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Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow ![]() Now: Street Triple R |
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#1365 |
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Riding, North
Posts: 2,664
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IDIOT SIGHTING No7
When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey', I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it’s open!' His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire. STAY ALERT! They walk among us. AND THEY BREED!
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Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow ![]() Now: Street Triple R |
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#1366 |
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Riding, North
Posts: 2,664
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Let this be a warning - not much comedy!
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches, etc.) which protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he's my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless." Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself." ''Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of . . ." At that point, the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to **** off."
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Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow ![]() Now: Street Triple R |
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#1367 |
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Shropshire UK
Posts: 1,363
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English woman and husband visiting Wales for first time noticed most people speaking Welsh - they stopped for lunch in a nice town and woman asked a man on next table 'do you speak English - can you tell me where we are, and please speak slowly because Welsh place names look strange to me' The man leaned closer and said 'B -- U -- R -- G. -- E. -- R. -- K. -- I. -- N. -- G. '....
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2016 SV650 AL7 Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain Last edited by SV650rules; 22-10-20 at 06:37 PM. |
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#1368 |
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Riding, North
Posts: 2,664
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Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow ![]() Now: Street Triple R |
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#1369 |
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Mid Wales
Posts: 2,547
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Why isn’t Trump allowed in the White House?
Because it’s forBiden....... |
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#1370 |
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 2,797
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Groooooooan!
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AR08 to AR13-QUALITY! 650s: '52 curvy in yellow, was my baby ![]() cbr600rr: Mivv exhaust and a bagster tank cover. Now gone to a new home. Daytona 675: Arrow can (with a baffle that's gone missing in action.... ![]() ![]() |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here | fizzwheel | Idle Banter | 4533 | 02-12-11 09:28 PM |
This will probably go into the comedy club | plowsie | Idle Banter | 4 | 23-09-08 01:16 PM |