SV650.org - SV650 & Gladius 650 Forum



Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick).
There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 27-01-12, 10:28 PM   #131
DJ123
Member
Mega Poster
 
DJ123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Somewhere over there
Posts: 3,245
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What does an Essex girl and the Costa Concordia have in common?
A large gash full of dead sea-men
__________________


BMW F800ST
DJ123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 12:07 PM   #132
metalangel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Bought a voice pack for my GPS, featuring Bono. I'm going to try get get a refund, it's fooking useless, all the streets have no name.

I went for a pint at the Fiddle. All the beers were really bad, it really is a vile inn. Mind you, the **** is no better, the pints there are foul.
  Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 12:27 PM   #133
Paul the 6th
Member
Mega Poster
 
Paul the 6th's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 4,790
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Mars - future home to human colonies.

Venus - 860 degrees F and rains sulfuric acid.

Sounds about right.
__________________
RIP Reeder 20/07/1988 - 21/03/2012 - You were awesome

Cbf600, sv650, sv1000, gsxr 750 srad, KTM adventure 950, gsxr 750 k1, gsxr 750 srad, fazer 1000, zx9r ninja..
Paul the 6th is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 12:28 PM   #134
Paul the 6th
Member
Mega Poster
 
Paul the 6th's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 4,790
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

That awkward moment your new girlfriend meets your old girlfriend.

In the cellar.
__________________
RIP Reeder 20/07/1988 - 21/03/2012 - You were awesome

Cbf600, sv650, sv1000, gsxr 750 srad, KTM adventure 950, gsxr 750 k1, gsxr 750 srad, fazer 1000, zx9r ninja..
Paul the 6th is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 01:04 PM   #135
1210tech
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalangel View Post
Bought a voice pack for my GPS, featuring Bono. I'm going to try get get a refund, it's fooking useless, all the streets have no name.
That's why you still haven't found what you're looking for!
  Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 01:26 PM   #136
Luckypants
Moderator
Mega Poster
 
Luckypants's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Nr Ruthin
Posts: 7,073
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Three Holy Men and a Bear. . .

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan .

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. . . Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it. . . circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
__________________
"Your Viffer sounds like it is raising hell! Spot on." - Witchery 17/4/08
Snow Plough Appreciation Society - Member #3

Luckypants is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 02:55 PM   #137
Viney
Member
Mega Poster
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the shadows to the left
Posts: 7,700
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Guys may i remind you of the U rating of this area. Some of these jokes are a little over the mark. Keep them clean please.

Thank you

The Mod Team
Viney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 04:14 PM   #138
Bluepete
Member
Mega Poster
 
Bluepete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ex motorcyclist
Posts: 1,961
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1210tech View Post
That's why you still haven't found what you're looking for!
That's the winner!

Pete
Bluepete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 07:20 PM   #139
metalangel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1210tech View Post
That's why you still haven't found what you're looking for!
Meh. I can live, with or without it.
  Reply With Quote
Old 31-01-12, 08:33 PM   #140
L3nny
Member
Mega Poster
 
L3nny's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MK
Posts: 2,111
Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1210tech View Post
That's why you still haven't found what you're looking for!
The only town is a place called Vertigo
__________________
2015 GS 1200 Adventure
L3nny is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here fizzwheel Idle Banter 4533 02-12-11 09:28 PM
This will probably go into the comedy club plowsie Idle Banter 4 23-09-08 01:16 PM


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® - Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.