I hate cats!

[the_lone_wolf]

Originally Posted by Jayneflakes

I wouldn't mind so much were it not a vicious spiteful hate filled thing, trying to catch the animal as it runs about the flat can be quite daunting, think I would rather wrestle an alligator or another woman in a mud pit, but that may just be me being strange!

welding glove + toilet : close the lid but hold onto the tail, the number of flushes required will depend on the severity of the offence

Originally Posted by Dave The Rave

OK, normally I do not mind animals, in fact I like them. However I cut the grass today (after two weeks or so) and there is a turd the size of a hot dog. It stinks to hell and back so I am now officially declaring war on those little suckers. I got my water pistol on standby and I will make their lives misery. What makes it worse I know they are my neighbours cats that use the garden as their toilet so I am tempted to return it over the fence whilst still steaming hot!

RANT OVER

Know what you mean mate,my streets the same absolutely full of the feline fiends.Now don't get me wrong i don't dislike cats,but i do dislike like them showering my garden with sh1te especially when i have 2 young kids that play out there and the 2 that seem to do it all the time is from a neighbour who lives next door but one to me and he's a right git(not many people have time for him or his missus).

So one evening not to long ago a freind and i coaxed one into the house and blasted it with the clippers,it was easier said than done as we had to wear bike gloves to stop the scratches.Now i know i'll probably get flamed for this(face,bothered)but at the end of the day would you want your kids playing in someones cat crap which i believe can be dangerous....next stop CATapult.

[Jayneflakes]

Originally Posted by sv-robo

would you want your kids playing in someones cat crap which i believe can be dangerous....next stop CATapult.

The biggest problem with faeces is the disease it spreads. The best method of providing safe faeces for your children to play with is to place said nugget in the microwave for two minutes. This will kill most pathogenic life forms and leave you with a sterile turd.

Not sure I would want my kids playing with a turd even if I knew it to be safe though, but then that may just be me!

Originally Posted by Jayneflakes

The best method of providing safe faeces for your children to play with is to place said nugget in the microwave for two minutes. This will kill most pathogenic life forms and leave you with a sterile turd.

Not sure I would want my kids playing with a turd even if I knew it to be safe though, but then that may just be me!

Hehe,think you may have misunderstood me,i DON'T want my kids playing with the turd & i don't fancy sticking it the microwave & turning it into a rock cake,lol.

[Paul the 6th]

all cats know i don't like them. And I know they don't like me.

Every experience I've ever had with a cat has been terrible. I'll be sat minding my own business, then they'll come and climb all over me and if I try to push them away (gently) they dig their claws in.

Or one time I was *trying* to get along with a friends cat - came and laid next to me, so I stroked it for about a minute. I was tickling its cheek and then suddenly it wrapped all four claws around my hand and bit me. Needless to say I've been an avid supporter of the anti-cat society ever since.

What I like about cats is how they always go and **** in someone elses garden,oh I dont know, like say mine, that way the owners dont have to worry about cleaning the mess up, they just leave it too soft *******s like me to do that. When I was in the air force in germany, one day a year the rough shooting club went out and shot every stray cat on camp, seemed to work.

[Jayneflakes]

Originally Posted by sv-robo

Hehe,think you may have misunderstood me,i DON'T want my kids playing with the turd & i don't fancy sticking it the microwave & turning it into a rock cake,lol.

Have you tried freeze drying? That could work then you can use it as a missile to hurl at the owners of said pussy shats!

One of these looks like fun Dunno if they're any good but been seriously tempted...

http://www.maplin.co.uk/Module.aspx?...222505&doy=6m7

[Jayneflakes]

Hmm, not sure, but get an automatic sentry robot like they had in the film Aliens. They seemed to work ok, but not so well against hive dwellors...

Get your cat one of these

http://www.litterkwitter.com/en/inde...FRsoEAodTVWbuA



Just hope they don't want your copy of MCN to read while they're there!