Another Sad Day

[anna]

+1 to Ed

It is always so difficult loosing someone, and to be asked to speak at a funeral was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life.

Its very simple though, there is no messing it up, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. You have your memories and, you have a very, very expressive way of getting that across, so I have no doubt you will be absolutely fine.

Jayne, your words made me cry- and I am sure I'm not the only one who shed a tear.

I send you all my condolences and best wishes. I'm sure you made a beautiful and fitting speech today.

There's a hug with your name on it waiting for you here

*hugs*

[Bri w]

Must admit to a tear when reading your words. Hugs for you and Carol.

Best wishes,

Bri

[Jayneflakes]

Thank you to every one who sent your kind words and your thoughts. The funeral was earlier today and it was a beautiful celebration of the life of Carol's father. There were moments when we laughed and there were moments when we had tears and I swear I could feel him there, but that may have been because there were a lot of people there who had a lot of love for him.

What amazed Carol and her Mother was the number of people who came to say good bye, there new and old Ambulance Crews, some who had worked with Alan and some who had not. We had old friends and family and even the friends that Alan's children had had growing up with, who remembered him from their childhood.

Originally Posted by Quiff Wichard

I would be interested to hear of the humanist funeral as I am an atheist and worry to bits that I will have a church funeral et al

The funeral was lead by a lovely woman called Fiona who gave a speech about Alan's life, his loves and his joys. She also talked about the things that made him the man he was and at no point was he judged or was there a need for him to to be forgiven for any sins. He was a good man and he was a fun man.

Carol had arranged some music from her fathers record collection so we had some of his favourite music, we also had music from when he used to look after his Grandson. It was about him,not about a Religious movement.

The leader of the ceremony gave us a moment to reflect upon what Alan had meant to us and I will admit that although I have no religion, I was thankful for the moments when I was with him.

The final music heard was the song by Monty Python "Always look on the bright side of life", not a song you are likely to get in a religious service. This was a favourite of Alan's and given that he was always jovial, often a little naughty and occasionally down right rude, I know that he would have approved.

At no point was there any mention of religion, which Alan would have found truly offensive. Sadly not every one walked away happy, one person felt that the service was sacrilegious and Alan should have been given a Christian service to absolve him of sin. You can only imagine how that one went down with Carol and her loved ones.

Personally if I had the choice, that is how I would want mine to be. It was respectful, it was joyous and it allowed us to express our love for a man who was no angel, but was always true to himself and kind to those he shared this planet with. Only this morning his wife received a statement showing that he had donated a part of his final months pension to the Earthquake appeal.

This is the group that Alan was a member of and when it came to it, they truly gave a beautiful memorial service for a man who was so dear to us in so many ways. The British Humanist Association.

As for my reading, I gave thought to what Alan meant to me and with just a few lines, I was able to say what I needed to say. I did nearly cry, but I looked at those people there and I knew that they felt what I felt and they would not judge me unkindly. I was also able to read out one of Alan's favourite poems, which was an honour.

I miss my friend.

Originally Posted by Jayneflakes

one person felt that the service was sacrilegious and Alan should have been given a Christian service to absolve him of sin.

I would have told said person that they had two welcomes, they are welcome to come and they are welcome to go. Everyone is entitled to express an opinion, but this was neither the time nor the place. They should have stayed away.

Jayney, I hope that you can draw some strength from your experience. I am certain that Alan would not have wanted anyone to be upset, but rather to rejoice in a life lived well.

Originally Posted by Ed

I would have told said person that they had two welcomes, they are welcome to come and they are welcome to go. Everyone is entitled to express an opinion, but this was neither the time nor the place. They should have stayed away.

Jayney, I hope that you can draw some strength from your experience. I am certain that Alan would not have wanted anyone to be upset, but rather to rejoice in a life lived well.

+1