Your Dumbest Bike Maintenance Moment

[gruntygiggles]

I'm just waiting to see what Stretchie and Squirrel_Hunter put up in here

Still bike related.

When I was 10, I started looking after my own pushbike maintenance and on one occasision had to take the front wheel to straighten the mudguard.

Job done, wheel on and off down the road I go. Imagine my suprise when on the first wheelie my front wheel comes off and as a desend and stop most abruptly with forks in the ground, I find out where face plants hurt so much in tarmac.

Having your front teeth smashed through your top lip is a painful reminder to make sure your nuts are tight enough!

Not really maintenance related but it really annoyed me at the time.
Had my curvy stripped down ready to sell. Engine was out and ready to be sold. Decided i'd best drain the thing first. So looking around the garage I spy a red plastic bucket 'looks sturdy enough' I think to myself. So I pop it on top and after a bit of a wobble and a mini collapse the bucket holds and I remove the oil and coolant plugs. Job jobbed.
So half an hour later my mate pops by to see what i'm doing.
'that bucket looks like it's going to collapse Si!'
'Ha you fool it's been like that for 30 minutes it's as steady as a...'
almighty crash followed by about 6 litres of oil and coolant tidal wave flowing over my mates garage and a cracked water pump cover just for good measure.
Gutted.

[andrewsmith]

Unlucky mate!!

Mine is the ye old snapped sump plug. I'm waiting for the gems to be put up!

DB and tactcom are joint leaders

Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

I'm just waiting to see what Stretchie and Squirrel_Hunter put up in here

I might as well get mine in now before Stretchie does it for me!

First time DIY-servicing the bike, it wouldn't start after being stood for a few months. We set about checking lots of stuff, first of all the killswitch so being quite sensible at this point, despite being very hungover!

We took the petrol tank off to drain the old fuel out, spilling it all over the place in the process. At this point I spotted that the rear spark plug was now easily accessible and decided to test it.

The spark plug worked, and the resulting small explosion from the spilled petrol knocked Stretchie's pot noodle over!

[Littlepeahead]

I have a custom seat but when Mr LPH wrote his bike off I bought a standard seat so he could ride my SV as I was in a plaster cast with my broken elbow so was not riding it myself.

As I went to bolt the seat on using my one working hand I somehow managed to flick the bolt into the bike frame where it got wedged in a completely unreachable place. I spent ages trying to poke it with things to get it out, not helped by my cat sticking his paw in the way as he thought it was a new game. Most frustrating.

My mate had been on a track day over the weekend and had wets on his road bike. as monday was a nice day we decided to go for a ride straight after work. In our haste to get the wheels changed over we'd over tightened the chain so as we left and he shut the throttle to turn out of the road he did the slowest high side i've ever seen!!!! and to add insult to injury it went down on the right hand side cracking his carbon akrapovic can, and scathing his new rizmo throttle and his new rearsets!!! Plus his house is the last on the street so the junction was a total of 20 yards from his driveway. Gutted didn't come close!!! Then during that same ride my mate took a stone through his radiator, who in turn through stones up into anothers screen smashing it, i chipped the paint on my tank and my mates new Guintolli rep Worx Suzuki 1000 GSXR took stone chips on the fender and bottom fairing. All in all a pretty crap day for all involved

In my defense, I'm new to biking, I bought my first and only bike in April.

I fitted a 12v socket to my bike on a sunday afternoon and left the bike garaged till the following sunday. Got the bike out to go a ride but the bike wouldn't start, "how can I fit a 12v socket sooo badly that it drains the battery in 1 week???" Seat off, disconnect socket, seat on, still won't start. I Check internet to see if bikes can be 'jump-started', affirmitive!! I manage to Push the bike up the drive, jumps on, ignition on, rolls down hill and tries jump-starting......wheel locks, tried again....same happened, again, again. Now at bottom of hill, parks bike, runs up the hill (in leathers/boots/helmet), phones mate and tells him to bring his jump-leads. we get back to the bike. Seat off, jump-leads on, ignite...nothing!?!?!? I start wondering that if battery is sooo flat, why is the clock all lit up??? it suddenly dawns on me..........

......and I now know that the 'kill-switch' works properly DOH!!!!

[yorkie_chris]

Oh god, where do I start.

A selection, not including ones that ended up being injured or on fire;

Changing a tyre;
The morning after a seriously good drink lasting at least 15 hours.
Removed the wheel, broke the bead, removed the tyre. Fitted the new tyre, blew it up to pop the beads on. Thought "hmmm looks a bit bal... B*STARD!" refitted the old tyre again!
Broke the bead, removed the tyre, fitted the NEW tyre. Blew it up to pop the beads on, went to balance i... "B*STARD!"... tyre fitted the wrong way!

Gave it up as a bad job and went back to bed.


#2

Prepared to remove the front sprocket nut from an SV, all the previous ones been seized on to death. Using skilful bribery procured a Brother to stand on the back brake, bit of wood through the swingarm. 3 foot breaker bar and massive impact socket, JUMP on the breaker bar... Which swings with no resistance as the nut is barely more than finger tight... land on the floor in a heap and spill your brew!

[Dave20046]

Originally Posted by yorkie_chris

Oh god, where do I start.

A selection, not including ones that ended up being injured or on fire;

Changing a tyre;
The morning after a seriously good drink lasting at least 15 hours.
Removed the wheel, broke the bead, removed the tyre. Fitted the new tyre, blew it up to pop the beads on. Thought "hmmm looks a bit bal... B*STARD!" refitted the old tyre again!
Broke the bead, removed the tyre, fitted the NEW tyre. Blew it up to pop the beads on, went to balance i... "B*STARD!"... tyre fitted the wrong way!

Gave it up as a bad job and went back to bed.


#2

Prepared to remove the front sprocket nut from an SV, all the previous ones been seized on to death. Using skilful bribery procured a Brother to stand on the back brake, bit of wood through the swingarm. 3 foot breaker bar and massive impact socket, JUMP on the breaker bar... Which swings with no resistance as the nut is barely more than finger tight... land on the floor in a heap and spill your brew!

#3?