Social media and your responsibility

Same currency maybe, but I don't think it's the flip side of the same coin mate. Making people aware of the funeral of a mutual friend vs announcing a death of somebody that's nothing to do with you.

[flymo]

this is an interesting thread. Out of interest, and in no way is this intended to be disrespectful, but how long is an acceptable period of time to wait before mentioning something of this nature?

Is this potentially just a reflection of the fact that today's communication methods simply enable far more rapid spread of information than has been possible before?

Could we have been discussing the telephone in similar circumstances some 130 years ago?

I would say it's not for a woman down the pub who happened to be there to be mentioning it on Facebook until they know that it's public knowledge, if at all.

If you were the closest to the person, it's your call. If you are close to those who were closest to the person, then you ask them first. If you weren't that close, you keep quiet.

Not something I would ever come up against, our computer freezes if I ever try and log onto facebook, not that it is a problem, I really do not understand it at all. I use my fingers to dial the telephone if I ever want to contact friends and family.

I would however say that a 'respectable length of time' would be halfway between the death and the funeral

[Drew Carey]

Good thread Cheryl......and totally agree, its up to the family to inform people. People should show restraint with all matters such as this.

When Hovis passed, his family called us and you once they had time to digest what had happened and felt the time was right to notify everyone. They called us and spoke to you and Dan. It was at that point, when struck with grief that the last thing on our mind was about actually posting it - but was about telling all those who we knew were close to him about it before they found out by multi-media. Like you, we rang others close to him first that we had contact details for.

It was only then, after having informed those we could, that Lily posted it on here......but only with the families permission.

In my view, people need to use Facebook etc wisely and engage brain matter. Think of what you are posting and the implications. What could be a simple RIP message could cause issues. Only once you 100% are certain the information is widely known should you post as such - if you feel the need too.....if you are having any doubts, don't post.

Just my view anyway.

[Luckypants]

I agree with the OP and would like to relate a case in point.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a popular and remarkable young woman whom I had paddled with on many occasions. It was an inspiring service and we all celebrated the woman Kate was. Sadly Kate died paddling a river and like so many adventure sports these days kayaking is big on the net, so it would have been very easy for news of her accident to spread this way and for folks to find out via Facebook etc what had happened. The club did an excellent job of keeping the news off any paddling related sites, Facebook etc until people had been told 'officially'. I for one am much happier to have found out via a phone call from a friend in the club who was tasked with the unpleasant task than by some random FB message. I know Kate's family also appreciated the fact they had time to come to terms with it before the emails started coming in, or the media started to poke their noses in.

So the message is think before typing this kind of news.

Originally Posted by -Ralph-

I would say it's not for a woman down the pub who happened to be there to be mentioning it on Facebook until they know that it's public knowledge, if at all.

Indeed, not her news to give in my opinion.

I found out about an teacher/chaplain at my old school who had died suddenly, young she was too. I was so shocked to see it written on facebook plain as day but I doubt I'd have found out until years and years later.

Facebook is fine when used in the right way, people abusing it to just get more notifications are bang out of order.

[Messie]

I don't want to upset anyone and, I guess I'm sort of playing devil's advocate here, but I think you have to see what Facebook really is - it's a gossip platform, that's all. Ok, it's a bit more geographically widespread than the village green , but in essence, that's what it is.
GG I agree that some people should be much more thoughtful and circumspect when using the thing but, in real life, people will do what they have always done - spread the news (gossip) about someone or something else in the simplest way they know how. In the old days it may well have been that the news of someone's death reached the loved ones before the official person got there.
I'm not condoning the behaviour in this way on various social media sites, but I do strongly believe that in so many ways we do what we do, regardless of the technology available. I could go on for hours about our evolutionary history, but I won't. Suffice to say that it is suggested that gossip (sharing social information) is one of the key features of the develeopment of human intelligence

Or, people will be a*oles, whatever the opportunity!

I've found out via Facebook of two people dying, one of which was my grandmother.

You have to find out somehow and no matter which way it is it hurts.

C