The man who has everything...

Originally Posted by Jelster

Why is it always raining when I go to our Manchester office ?

When can I go North of Derbyshire and not be called "pet" or "duck" ?

Why do you drink your beer warm ?

Is wearing a flat cap compulsary ?

Is it true you have gravy on baked beans ?

I did hear that you only ever had a barf on Sundays, but I don't believe that one

I need to know these things so that when I come up to see you I can adjust to my surroundings

Jelster mate, you'll be telling us next were in a different time zone or even decade!! Flat cap not compulsory but ferrit in front pocket and rolled up copy of pigeon fancyers weekly is.

Originally Posted by Jelster

Why is it always raining when I go to our Manchester office ?

Because you've used up all your water in the South, and without our Northern reservoirs, Montmorency, Clarence and their chums wouldn't be able to water their golf courses....and Jemima, Fenella and the Stepford wives couldn't wash their 4X4s

Originally Posted by Jelster

When can I go North of Derbyshire and not be called "pet" or "duck" ?

Usually when you are visiting the places where you are called "love" or "pal". They are terms of fond and sympathetic endearment, nicer than "****" or "mush", and often specifically used for those who have run out of water.

Originally Posted by Jelster

Why do you drink your beer warm ?

Because Northerners invented it before the refrigerator, and designed it so it tasted of more than E-numbers, ie, we don't need to strangle the flavour.

Originally Posted by Jelster

Is wearing a flat cap compulsary ?

Only on Sundays in Methodist Chapels. And Barnoldswick.

Originally Posted by Jelster

Is it true you have gravy on baked beans ?

Yes....in Barnoldswick. Otherwise it's curry sauce (bits/scraps optional).

Originally Posted by Jelster

I did hear that you only ever had a barf on Sundays, but I don't believe that one

That's true. The rest of the time we sluice off in one of the many open-air public bidets.

Originally Posted by Jelster

I need to know these things so that when I come up to see you I can adjust to my surroundings

Why not enrol on one of our introductory courses? They're a bit like a track-day for beginners.....but with better roads and better chips.

[Richie]

Originally Posted by El Boccadillo

Why not enrol on one of our introductory courses? They're a bit like a track-day for beginners.....but with better roads and better chips.

I do love these threads....

Have you noticed that Pedro starts them, pops back in for a little "stir", then sits back and waits ?

.

Jelster wrote:

Have you noticed that Pedro starts them, pops back in for a little "stir", then sits back and waits ?

Who me?

Originally Posted by Jelster

I do love these threads....

Have you noticed that Pedro starts them, pops back in for a little "stir", then sits back and waits ?

.

duly noticed

Quality thread!!

Mind you, I do love taking the micky out of my cousins from Stevenage, when they tell me to f@k orf. It just doesn't have the same venom as the northern version

My Southern boyfriend is always taking the mickey out of my accent but then i guess it works both ways

Originally Posted by Tara

My Southern boyfriend is always taking the mickey out of my accent but then i guess it works both ways

Why, Miss Tara (*adopts mock Jerry Hall-type accent*)! In mah day, honey, a DECENT girl just wouldn't admit to such a thing! Uh-huh!!

[anna]

quality thread