For those who know owt or nowt about building...

Yup heard all the old ones and even pondered a few minutes myself when as a trainee someone suggested using sky hooks and I was just about to say "who makes them...?" before the penny dropped. - bloody funny as an initiation joke but this case is for real!

I'll give ya cavities. With some TNT

As for these sorts of things, my dad often sends new aprentice boys over the road to the hardware shop to ask for a left-handed screw driver......

Matt

My very first computer job required me to travel the length and breadth of the country to audit all of Railtrack's computers. Now, I took this job as a means to get out of driving fork lift trucks loading the british gypsum wagons (winter was approaching, and being one of these "namby pamby fair weather fork lift drivers"), and as such knew nothing.

I asked my boss how to get the capacity of the hard drive installed in these computers. He produced a 12" ruler, and proceeded to explain a complicated algebraic equation to discover the capacity based upon a hard drive's physical dimensions. I'd audited most of the east midlands before I figured out I'd been had

[Bluepete]

We used to tell the new recruits to phone special branch at the airport and ask to speak to Detective Constable Tenn.

Can't do it now, apparently it's "bullying" aww, poor wee things!










FFS.

I managed to get an undergrad project student to go and dilute some water once. Bless.

When working in a restaurant we had a propane blow torch for melting sugar on puddings. I told a girl she needed to warm the metal canister up in the microwave first........ I'm so glad I was there when she was about to try it!

Originally Posted by Amanda M

I managed to get an undergrad project student to go and dilute some water once. Bless.

What did he dilute it with?

[SoulKiss]

Originally Posted by Baph

No-one's mentionned a glass hammer yet.

Got a few of the new starters over the years at my uncles old double glazing firm when I was kicking around helping out (read: hindering).

Glass hammers are no longer valid.

A number of years ago, Pilkington came up with a formula for REALLY tough glass. To prove how tough it was, the cast some into a hammer shape and proceeded to drive nails with them.

Originally Posted by SoulKiss

Glass hammers are no longer valid.

A number of years ago, Pilkington came up with a formula for REALLY tough glass. To prove how tough it was, the cast some into a hammer shape and proceeded to drive nails with them.

There's also small hammers used to tap stainless window borders on properly (which we used to do at my uncles place). The common name for them was "glass hammer."

That was a laugh though, mainly because you could wind them up about a hammer made out of glass, but then ask for a glass hammer again. They'd always say something like "Aye, you've tried that one already!"

No, really, pass us that glass hammer, it's right next to you!!