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Old 01-03-12, 07:53 PM   #221
DJ123
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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Originally Posted by -Ralph- View Post
That's all you needed to put
That was just for todays joke. I'm waiting for the story when he out drags a Euro Fighter Typhoon off the end of an aircraft carrier
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Old 01-03-12, 07:54 PM   #222
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Davy Jones found his locker then.
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Old 02-03-12, 07:41 AM   #223
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I met the friendliest homeless man today.

"spare any change?" he asked.

"sorry mate" I replied as I was trying to get past him.

"well I hope you sleep well tonight knowing I'm out here on the street" he said.

"thank you very much you're too kind" I said with a spring in my step & a click of my heels.
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Old 02-03-12, 11:21 AM   #224
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

You barsteward, Paul - I've been on the street all month!
Oh, and a hex on your Gixxer for thinking I'm ' nice '
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Old 02-03-12, 04:15 PM   #225
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What's the similarity between Whitney Houston and a spider?


They are both black, and neither of them can get out of a bath.
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Old 02-03-12, 04:20 PM   #226
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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Old 02-03-12, 04:20 PM   #227
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Ever put a cat in the bath? PURE PANIC
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Old 02-03-12, 04:21 PM   #228
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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Ever put a cat in the bath? PURE PANIC
Yes, whilst wearing leather motorbike gauntlets!
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Old 05-03-12, 10:53 AM   #229
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

BRITISH PENSIONER v's IMMIGRANT
  • Pensioner weekly allowance: £106.00
    Immigrant/Refugee weekly allowance: £250.00
  • Pensioner weeklySpouse allowance: £25.00
    Immigrant/Refugee weekly Spouse allowance: £225.00
  • Pensioner weekly hardship allowance £0.00
    Immigrant/Refugee weekly
    hardship allowance £100.00
  • Pensioner Annual Benifit Payout: £6,000
    Immigrant/Refugee Annual Benifit Payout: £29,900
well its a joke!!!
Its just not the laughing kind.
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Old 05-03-12, 11:10 AM   #230
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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BRITISH PENSIONER v's IMMIGRANT
  • Pensioner weekly allowance: £106.00
    Immigrant/Refugee weekly allowance: £250.00
  • Pensioner weeklySpouse allowance: £25.00
    Immigrant/Refugee weekly Spouse allowance: £225.00
  • Pensioner weekly hardship allowance £0.00
    Immigrant/Refugee weekly
    hardship allowance £100.00
  • Pensioner Annual Benifit Payout: £6,000
    Immigrant/Refugee Annual Benifit Payout: £29,900
well its a joke!!!
Its just not the laughing kind.
Oh dear, and you fell for it...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoax-Slayer.com Website
UK Pensioners v Asylum Seekers Protest Message

Outline
Protest message claims that asylum seekers in the UK receive a substantially higher weekly allowance from the British government than do British pensioners.

Brief Analysis
The claims in the message are untrue. In fact, asylum seekers who come to the UK do not receive more financial assistance from the British government than British pensioners do. The payment figures quoted in the message are not accurate. The rumour is a UK based version of earlier and equally false messages that have circulated in Canada, the US and Australia.
For the rest of the true story click here.

While we are on the subject, want to buy a mattabooboo ?
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