Would you save a stranger? (TV programme)

[anna]

After working myself in a bar numerous times, as a female normally going to split a fight between two guys I would have more luck then the bouncers.

Saying that, in my last bar job there really wasn’t a Thursday or Friday night that at least once during the night I wouldn’t have to hit the "police panic" button.

Believe me during those times I never had an inclination to go across the bar to help or sort anything out. We had bouncers and rightly or wrongly I was not going to cross the bar, especially when most of the bar stewards were new and didn’t know the drill. The first time this would happen on a guy’s first shift they would automatically want to go and jump in. I had to stop them and lock everyone in the glass wash area to ensure that they couldn’t and that they were safe. I know this sounds harsh but we are talking about a pub that had an incident in it 6 months before I joined of gun fights.

However, riding in London I saw a bloke grab a girl’s push bike in the middle of an entrance of a roundabout and start to scream at her. I went around the roundabout and he was still doing it and had physically grabbed her to stop her moving, so I pulled up and walked over and asked if everything was ok. He answered but I wouldn’t move until she answered by which time he had let her go and she was able to be on her way. I´m no hero and only did this because I was in full leathers and never once took my lid off.

I guess I´m highlighting incidences here that put "help" into context. It´s natural to put your own survival in an equation of going to help someone after all we are animals as well. That´s what makes it so impressive when others do step into help where their own safety isn´t guaranteed.

Originally Posted by anna

Saying that, in my last bar job there really wasn't a Thursday or Friday night that at least once during the night I wouldn't have to hit the "police panic" button.

I remember those buttons well. In one of the pubs I worked in it was agreed 3 squaks of the radio means the police come running.

In a later pub, the button was only ever used once whilst I was there. Accidentally. The talking to the cleaner got from an armed response officer ensured it never happened again.

[flymo]

Originally Posted by Baph

In a later pub, the button was only ever used once whilst I was there. Accidentally. The talking to the cleaner got from an armed response officer ensured it never happened again.

Oh my god, this reminds me of a little incident I was involved in as a kid

My dad was (still is) a watch repairer and at the time used to collect/repair/return watches and clocks from all the local jewellers.

So, one day I'm out with my dad while he does his rounds, think I was about 6 at the time. I got left in the back room of a jewellers while my dad was chatting to the owner in the shop. I thought it would be a great idea to make everybody a cup of tea, filled the kettle and was pushing on the red button on the wall to make it boil

5 mins later a shop full of police turned up with guns all wanting a cuppa I guess........my dad went ape**** when he realised what happened.

#END DERAIL

Entirely depends on the situation. I have spoken sternly to bullying kids before, having been in the same situation myself I now utterly despise anything of the sort. As for a fight I know I'm not of the capacity to do anything much in the way of defence, but I'd certainly alert someone to the situation, call the police or whatever, just make sure it was being taken care of.

The whole business about "not wanting to get involved" is understandable but at the end of the day I wouldn't want anything on my conscience, knowing that I could have done something but deliberately didn't would play on my mind for a long time.

Originally Posted by Ceri JC

I wouldn't expect everyone to get involved in breaking up fisticuffs or preventing robberies, but there are plenty of scenarios those people could get involved in: helping at traffic accidents, people collapsing in the street, lost children, etc. from the sounds of it you would help at those and that is very admirable.

Of course - If it was a member of my family in that situation, or even myself, Id want someone to help. "Treat others the way you would like to be treated" concept.

My mum collapsed in a busy shopping center once and im so grateful to those who stepped in, called an ambulance and read her medic-alert tag and gave her glucose.

A little act of kindness/help goes a very long way.

[Biker Biggles]

Originally Posted by plowsie

Working at the pub. Bloke and his wife had been arguing in the bar for ages, we told them it was getting out time and that they had to leave. I checked with her she was okay, she smiled and lightly replied 'yeah'. Anyway, been nosey we could still hear them arguing outside, I stepped outside mainly to see if she was okay, she was in the car he was by the window and he was in the window shouting at her face. Next thing, he stepped slightly back and landed her one right in the chops. I was over there like a shot, she was bleeding and crying her eyes out trying to start the car, our manageress was not far behind and she had seen the lot, she got the lady out the car and saw to her, meanwhile I have confronted the bloke and pushed him away asking him WTF he thought he was doing...his reply "none of your business", 'fair reply mate, but why the **** do you think its right to hit her?', "I don't need to answer to you fatboy" with that he has tried to push me back and then swing for me. I landed him one on the chops and shouted how the **** do youlike it...and then as soon as that happened, security from the hotel over the road grabbed holt of me. The bloke came back for more but was restrained by two others from the pub.

On the return to the pub after all had calmed down, people were saying well done etc, the manageress however said "well done, but you do realise, this will be investigated". I was told to take holiday whilst the investigation was done, and was issued with a disciplinary hearing with the AM. There was footage of it from the car park but it was without sound, and it was unclear the bloke was shouting...Therefore I was issued with a written warning.

Looking back on it, I didn't know the full situation, only basics of what I sort....Was it stupid? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably not the way i dealt with it that time, however, put it like this - I will never stand by and let that sort of thing happen.

NEVER HIT A WOMAN.

Nowadays, I will always step in and try to stop violence whatever the background, whether the person deserves it or not.

Bloke I know has recently been sacked from his job and lost his entire career in similar circumstances.I believe the Daily Mail may do a story on it tomorrow(rumour has it).
Bottom line is there is no official support for have a go heros and the system is heavily stacked against them.Hence fewer and fewer people are willing to get involved.

[gruntygiggles]

Hmmm, didn't see the programme, but I know from experience that I am not capable of just walking by or ignoring something.

I was a Night Manager in a City Centre hotel when I was younger and would have to work a night shift on my own, no security with a Duty Manager (always less experienced and less confident than me) sleeping upstairs. We used to accommodate football fans of teams playing in Cardiff and all the hen and stag weekends and I cannot tell you how many times fights broke out in the bar. I decided early on that the only way to stay safe was to stay behind the bar and be make it absolutely clear in the most polite way that I would take no sh*t off anyone. We didn't have a police panic button or anything and thankfully, I only had to call for the police once, but usually, when a fight broke out, hitting the botton that released the cast iron safety door on the old safe would be enough to stop everyone. That thing came down and it sounded like a bomb going off. No-one would ignore it. Everyone would go deadly quite wondering what the hell had just happened and I'd use my sternest but calmest voice and just say, "anyone still in this bar in 2 minutes is going to have to spend the night in a police cell or on the street because if you don't calm down and go to bed I'm going to have the police come here and throw you out"

Occasionally there would be a smart ar$e that would say I wasn't strong enough to throw them out so I'd just say I wouldn't touch them for fear of catching something and would let the police do it for me. Always worked a treat and most people became apologetic and were embarrassed the next morning.

The only other really nasty thing I've witnessed was a extremely brutal beating by 6 lads on a young father who was with his wife and disabled baby. The lads had been calling the baby names, the father totally ignored them and tried to walk around them, standing between them and his wife and baby. I wa at the cash machine behind a big brick pillar and was watching them. One of them decided to lash out and then the rest set upon him like animals.....it was one of the worst things I have ever seen. I had already started to get my mobile out when a woman the other end of the street shouted and one of the lads ran to her and I think would have hit her if she hadn't got into her car in time as he kicked the door as she drove off. I stayed behind the pillar, called 999 and as the local police station was only about 300 yards around the corner, help arrived literally within a minute. It must have been only a 3 minute attack and the victim was hospitalised for a very long time. I am glad I stayed quiet and chose to call the police as it would have been stupid of me to try and stop a fight like that when I would have no way of overpowering even one of the lads, let alone 6.

If I can help, I will and I will never just stand by, but I think you have to put your own safety first. If I had ended up beaten up by those lads, who would have called the police???