Some help please - Page 3 - SV650.org

gruntygiggles · 10-04-09, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bibio

if there is any doubt and i mean ANY about brain haemorrhages or tumers, get her to a GP pronto...

symptoms my wife had before she had a brain haemorrhage... dizzy spells, bouts of depression followed by euphoria, megrains, weight gain, high blood pressure to name a few. believe me it was the scariest thing i have ever encountered... not to mention the 6 months in hospital.

+1 and I hope your wife is all well now. I think Elly would have been fine if she'd been older but they treated her for meningitis for two days.

I sincerely hope that your wife is well now!

10-04-09, 10:51 PM

Plowsie, I have a fair amount of experience with panic attacks (not having them myself, but being in a similar position to you, the person witnessing someone else having them).

She does need to go to the doctor to get a professional opinion. If you want, tell her that it's to put YOUR mind at rest more than anything else. You've told us you worry about her, have you told her the same?

When she's at the doctor, or even if she fears that this may happen, if the doctor is judgemental (aka set in their ways), you can always ask for a 2nd opinion. This may be a stereotype, but I've found it to be true, a younger female doctor will generally be of more help in a situation like this.

Does she have a member of the family she can talk to about this? Could that person even go with her for support at the doctors?

As for the panic attacks themselves, has she always had them (to some varying degree)? Or is this something recent? There's usually a fair amount of stress that builds up, then the final thing kicks the whole incident off.

Do you know if she's stressed (or constantly stressing) about anything? Work? Family? Health? Reducing stress can help reduce both the frequency & intensity of panic attacks.

Talk to her when she's not having an attack to find out what she thinks would benefit when an attack happens. Chances are she feels her chest getting tighter, and you being close (cuddling etc) will only make that worse. Most importantly, agree with her some form of sign that she wants you to stop whatever you're doing. I find the person suffering the attack just lightly placing a hand anywhere on me works, or the classic "talk to the hand."

During a panic attack, the most important thing she can do is to breathe slowly & deeply. If it's an extreme attack, don't be telling her to breathe slowly & deeply, she'll only want to slap you. Instead, you breathe slowly & deeply (quietly, no need to make a song & dance about it). She'll see you doing it & copy, without the pressure of you telling her what to do.

Also, you've got my phone number. Especially when she's having an attack, if you're starting to panic etc, tell her that you need to back off a bit, and feel free to give me a call (don't worry about the time of night - seriously fella - I might be drowsy for a few mins though

). I'm happy to offer advice via the phone, or just talk random sh!t to help take your mind off it (she will get over it on her own, and you panicking will just make her worse).

Finally, do not tell her parents without first asking her consent to do so. Relationships are built on trust, and if she doesn't feel she can trust you about this, it'll only make her panic attacks worse.

Good luck fella, and keep me posted.

gruntygiggles · 10-04-09, 11:16 PM

Baph, I agree with 99% of your post and some of your comments mirror my own. The only reason I would not totally discount telling her parents is because sometimes, you have to put someones health above your relationship. If I thought Dan was ill due to symptoms and refused to tell anyone or get checked out. If I deemed it serious enough, I would rather him leave me for lack of trust than let him continue to hide something from everyone and end up seriously ill or dead. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and I would put the health and safety of a loved one above my relationship with them anyday if it were serious enough. Put simply, I'd rather someone be alive and well and not in my life than keep them happy.

It's just my opinion of course and I would see it as an absolute last resort, i.e. if she started passing out and still refused to go to the doctors. I would try to exhaust all other options first, but don't think it can be ruled out entirely.

10-04-09, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and I would put the health and safety of a loved one above my relationship with them anyday if it were serious enough. Put simply, I'd rather someone be alive and well and not in my life than keep them happy.

I agree completely.

However, if this is "just" a case of panic attacks, then IMO, there's no real danger to health/life.

Obviously Plowsie's girlfriend needs checking over by a professional to get their opinion before relying on the above sentence though.

Also I put "without first asking consent" - if he asks & she says no, there could still be grounds to talk to them.

gruntygiggles · 11-04-09, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baph

I agree completely.

However, if this is "just" a case of panic attacks, then IMO, there's no real danger to health/life.

Obviously Plowsie's girlfriend needs checking over by a professional to get their opinion before relying on the above sentence though.

Also I put "without first asking consent" - if he asks & she says no, there could still be grounds to talk to them.

Yup, we're singing from the same hymn sheet! The only worry I feel for Plowsies girlfriend is the blurry vision and dizziness. It is possible to have these associated with panic attacks, but it is also possible to suffer panic attacks but have these symptoms representing a totally different issue. I.E. It's perfectly possible to have a bike helmet that's a bit tight and give you headaches, but some of those headaches could be caused by something inside being wrong. If you assume it's just the helmet, you could miss something potentially dangerous.

Does that make sense?

Bibio · 11-04-09, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

+1 and I hope your wife is all well now. I think Elly would have been fine if she'd been older but they treated her for meningitis for two days.

I sincerely hope that your wife is well now!

thanks for asking. as well as can be... paralysed on her left hand side and has dysphasia. her speech is getting a little better but mobility may never recover.

11-04-09, 01:37 AM

Well as little help as it is, I say you should sit her down and talk to her.. I'm sure you're perfectly capable to taking care of her and you should never think otherwise..

Get her to see a doctor before anything else and see if he can prescribe something for her dizzyness etc.

As for panic attacks, well counsiller should be able to help.

Hope you get stuff sorted mate.

10-04-09, 10:51 PM	#22
Baph Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Some help please Plowsie, I have a fair amount of experience with panic attacks (not having them myself, but being in a similar position to you, the person witnessing someone else having them). She does need to go to the doctor to get a professional opinion. If you want, tell her that it's to put YOUR mind at rest more than anything else. You've told us you worry about her, have you told her the same? When she's at the doctor, or even if she fears that this may happen, if the doctor is judgemental (aka set in their ways), you can always ask for a 2nd opinion. This may be a stereotype, but I've found it to be true, a younger female doctor will generally be of more help in a situation like this. Does she have a member of the family she can talk to about this? Could that person even go with her for support at the doctors? As for the panic attacks themselves, has she always had them (to some varying degree)? Or is this something recent? There's usually a fair amount of stress that builds up, then the final thing kicks the whole incident off. Do you know if she's stressed (or constantly stressing) about anything? Work? Family? Health? Reducing stress can help reduce both the frequency & intensity of panic attacks. Talk to her when she's not having an attack to find out what she thinks would benefit when an attack happens. Chances are she feels her chest getting tighter, and you being close (cuddling etc) will only make that worse. Most importantly, agree with her some form of sign that she wants you to stop whatever you're doing. I find the person suffering the attack just lightly placing a hand anywhere on me works, or the classic "talk to the hand." During a panic attack, the most important thing she can do is to breathe slowly & deeply. If it's an extreme attack, don't be telling her to breathe slowly & deeply, she'll only want to slap you. Instead, you breathe slowly & deeply (quietly, no need to make a song & dance about it). She'll see you doing it & copy, without the pressure of you telling her what to do. Also, you've got my phone number. Especially when she's having an attack, if you're starting to panic etc, tell her that you need to back off a bit, and feel free to give me a call (don't worry about the time of night - seriously fella - I might be drowsy for a few mins though ). I'm happy to offer advice via the phone, or just talk random sh!t to help take your mind off it (she will get over it on her own, and you panicking will just make her worse). Finally, do not tell her parents without first asking her consent to do so. Relationships are built on trust, and if she doesn't feel she can trust you about this, it'll only make her panic attacks worse. Good luck fella, and keep me posted.

10-04-09, 11:16 PM	#23
gruntygiggles DaffyGingerBint Mega Poster Join Date: May 2008 Location: Melksham Posts: 1,577	Re: Some help please Baph, I agree with 99% of your post and some of your comments mirror my own. The only reason I would not totally discount telling her parents is because sometimes, you have to put someones health above your relationship. If I thought Dan was ill due to symptoms and refused to tell anyone or get checked out. If I deemed it serious enough, I would rather him leave me for lack of trust than let him continue to hide something from everyone and end up seriously ill or dead. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and I would put the health and safety of a loved one above my relationship with them anyday if it were serious enough. Put simply, I'd rather someone be alive and well and not in my life than keep them happy. It's just my opinion of course and I would see it as an absolute last resort, i.e. if she started passing out and still refused to go to the doctors. I would try to exhaust all other options first, but don't think it can be ruled out entirely. __________________ 2012 Welsh TT http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=171244 RIP Hovie baby

11-04-09, 01:37 AM	#27
Jamiebridges123 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Some help please Well as little help as it is, I say you should sit her down and talk to her.. I'm sure you're perfectly capable to taking care of her and you should never think otherwise.. Get her to see a doctor before anything else and see if he can prescribe something for her dizzyness etc. As for panic attacks, well counsiller should be able to help. Hope you get stuff sorted mate.