Poetry Corner

[Fallout]

There was a nipper called Jam Ray,
Said he'd bring a girl with him one day.
She never appeared,
Which proved what we feared.
Well at least now we know that he's gay.

[Wideboy]

hahaha

There was a baboon who one afternoon,
Said "I think I will fly to the sun"
so with two great palms
strapped to his arms
he started his take off run
mile after mile he galloped in style
but never once left the ground
"you're running too slow"
said a passing crow
"try reaching the speed of sound"
so he put on a spurt
by god how it hurt
the soles of his feet caught fire
as he raced through a stream
there were great clouds of steam
but he still didn't get ant higher
as he raced on through the night
both his knees caught alight
and smoke billowed out from his rear
quick to his aid came the fire brigade
who chased him for over a year

[Fallout]

For whoever is current 'Dave':

There once was a guy called Dave,
Who kept a dead ho in a cave.
He said "Aww what the hell!"
"I'll get used to the smell!"
"And think of the money I'll save!"

hahahahahaha!

There was a short bald guy from Eastleigh,
Who though he looked like Jason Priestley,
He one day met a girl,
Who gave him a twirl,
When her knickers fell down it was beastly!

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
Opened her crack
And peed all over the ceiling.

[Wideboy]

Oh dear


There once was a man called Laurie
Who was constantly in court saying he was sorry
He had to confess to being a sex pest
His sexual jokes were very gory*



* alternate ending "he was charged with the offence of flashing passing lorries".... sounded to much like your name

[Fallout]

This one should be right up Laurie's street ...

Once a young woman named Alice,
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In South Carolina,
And bits of her buttocks in Dallas.

Genius!