Guilt trip

Originally Posted by yorkie_chris

IMO just shake it off as a laugh, don't give him a dead serious chat about how you've got a carbon fibre helmet to stop your brain being smeared across the tarmac and a nice back protector to stop the armco ripped your spine out chunk by chunk. As that does not create a nice image!

Try "oh yes, I fell off my bike, what a jolly fool I am... don't I feel silly" etc. You gonna fall off the bugger at some point.

Oh yeah, lol. He cant do serious for longer than 30s anyway, and he almost always turns anything serious into a joke/fun of some sort.

I'll keep it light hearted for sure.

Your son is worried that his dad got hurt, and maybe picking up on your anxiety and that of your other half.

Like others have said, involve him and explain to him what biking is all about. My 2.5 yr old was convinced a few weeks back that there was a monster in the kitchen, and it took a few days of patience, explanation and searching for the monster before he agreed that all was ok. A simplistic example, but if your son is worried about your bike and that it might hurt you again, it will probably take some time before you can dispel his worries.

Kid logic is pretty simple, dad+bike=hurt. Therefore remove bike. The same way you would do anything to stop your kid being hurt, he is trying, in his way, to do the same for you. And as someone has pointed out, when the teenage years arrive, you will probably wish for him to have the same level of concern for your wellbeing!

If it makes you want to take a look at the way you ride, surely that can't be a bad thing? People may say 'get straight back on', 'get more training', 'don't bother with training', 'quit bikes' etc., but its only you that can decide what to do next, once everyone in your house settles down from your scare. Good luck.

Originally Posted by sloppy joe

Your son is worried that his dad got hurt, and maybe picking up on your anxiety and that of your other half.

Kid logic is pretty simple, dad+bike=hurt

+1

I wouldn't worry about the "chat" at all TBH. The sooner you and your wife stop talking about it in front of him, the sooner he'll forget it. If you are both positive about bikes he will be too. My wife is very worried about biking at the moment after I've had a little spate of accidents in recent years including one 5 weeks ago, so there's lots of discussion about it in our household at the moment, but my son loves the bike, because we haven't exposed him to it and he doesn't have any reason to fear the bike.

In the kid logic above you provided him with that logic, including the answer, "hurt" which is now worrying him.

[dizzyblonde]

My son used to howl the house down when ever I got a helmet on when he was very small. It got to the stage where we'd have to shut curtains and hide him in the garden so the coast was clear for me to go! Eventually we got to the stage where he would beep the horn, but if you turned the bike over, he would cry.

These days he has enroled in the YC school of brake servicing, he's very good at pulling levers at the right time , asks lots of questions on how things work, and is generally rather comfortable around a bike. But then he is 8, wants to be Valentino Rossi.....one slight snag with that.....he'll sit on the pillion seat but when you move the bike off the sidestand he wants to get off

Kids are funny, if you can get him involved in little things like washing it, he'll soon forget daddy got hurt, as it will involve positives....mainly for you as little hands can get in very tight places

15 years down the line...... Dad do you like my new bike? Its great son, I had one like that. Yeah but I wont fall off like you ya clown haha.

Things change and attitudes change, 4 yr olds speak from the heart and he is obviously upset seeing you in a cast and so on. Get him to stick his name on the cast and the worry of hurting will soon change

My daughter who is now 3.5( have to put the .5 in, so she says ) and she has been involved with me riding since she was born. She has helped me with cleaning and maintaining the bike. Watched me riding around when testing tyres, breaks etc. She knows that I have fallen off it, but luckily for me she has associated it with her falling off her bike. A quote from her after my little fall on the Chippy run:- " Daddy falls off his bike, I fall off my bike. Then erm we get back on. daddy's is faster".
Positive reassurance is essential for the child. Open conversation with light humour can work wonders. Getting the child invovled in what you are doing will help in the understanding of what you say about biking.
Ste.

Some great responses and advice, thank to everyone for sharing.

I'm a lot more positive now, that we'll get through this just fine!

[Messie]

In addition to all the good advice above, children, particluarly young ones, worry a lot sometimes aout things we just don't think about. How many parents have had to shoo the monsters out from under the bed, or soothe a sobbing child who's just dreamt about ghosts/monsters/bogeymen etc. They also ALL at some point go through the stage of realising that death can happen. Anything can trigger it off, from a comment to a programme or something happening to someone's friend or a pet dies. The first time they realise that mummy/daddy/loved one can die they can be terribly upset. But it really is just a normal part of growing up and a stage that they all go through.
Your son has picked up on your crash and he's at the age and stage where he's put the information into his imagination and computed to find the resulting emotionsa bit sacry to deal with.
Reassure him, and make a little mental note for when the loony wants to take control of the throttle, then keep calm and carry on.
Children are strange little things - we were all on once

Thanks Messie.

I still am a child

My Dad stopped biking when I was born as he had a family to support and responsibilities to us and it is a demonstrated fact that you are much more likely to die on a bike than in a car. He resumed biking when we became older, and took us out on the bike even. Now we have left home, he bikes a lot again. Its your call really, biking isn't always the most important thing in your life. That said, modifying the way you ride can have great benefits on its own.