had some v shocking news-support needed

Originally Posted by kitkat

but if she has a termination at over 20 weeks does she not have to give birth once they have killed the feotus. that may screw her up more than having baby and getting it adopted.

yeah it can be induced, I would say even more traumatic. Tbh I think it's far better for her just to have the baby, then she will realise that these things are not to be taken lightly and maybe she will think twice about being hmmm... irresponsible (right word?) I'm sure she will grow up pretty quickly too.

[yorkie_chris]

Originally Posted by missyorkie_chris

And you've got a point about the boys thing, I was up in my room doing homework and reading books at that age lol! Time do change it would seem

Probably the only girl living in mixenden who was....

Originally Posted by Lissa

My daughter was 13 when she said the words every parent fears.....'Mum, I've got something I need to tell you'. When she then said 'I'm gay' my reaction was, 'Thank God for that, I thought you were going to say you were pregnant'

Lmao!!!

Originally Posted by Kinvig

Inform the police & they'll get the boyfriend put on the sex offenders' register for being a goddammed paedophile.

She's 13, FFS!

Harsh. Not to condone whats gone on, but what is that going to accomplish? F### all.


I won't pass further comment on things other than to say sorry to hear things have gotten so messed up and I hope that the "family" leave's the lass to make her own decision about what to do.

Originally Posted by Lissa

I think I can understand where you're coming from, Paws. Yes, it might be 'a sign of the times', but that doesn't make it either right or acceptable. These children....because that's what they are really............shouldn't be facing chidbirth and motherhood at such a young age. Sadly, it now seems as if it's the norm for younger and younger girls to become pregnant, and I really don't think there's any way to reverse the trend.

My daughter was 13 when she said the words every parent fears.....'Mum, I've got something I need to tell you'. When she then said 'I'm gay' my reaction was, 'Thank God for that, I thought you were going to say you were pregnant'

That's absolutely great she could tell you that, what a mature kid.

There is no real second option here tbh, shes having a termination as no one in our family could help her bring it up/care for it, also shes way to young to be having a child-shes only a child herself!
Personally i think she should have to carry it and have it (she MAY have to yet, find out wednesday) as she might just wake up to the reality of it all.
*shruggs*
at the end of the day its a no win situ .

Originally Posted by Staffz

Hi,

It is a really tough thing to deal with, but if she is under 24 weeks they should be able to help.

Whatever you do steer her away from the images of development stages, and support her in her decision if she decides to terminate. Too much info can sometimes be what holds you back.
While any type of medical intervention at this stage would be extremely traumatic, it would certainly prevent her from losing her childhood and the chances that are presented as a young person without commitments.

There is little point in pressing charges, as she agreed. But it will be worthwhile steering her away from this lad, and pointing out that he really didn't have her best interests at heart if he let this happen. As the older party, and knowing he was wrong, he should have protected them both. Obviously all that is better talked about once the major decisions have been made, at this stage she will not need the added stress as she will already be terrified - both for her future and of others opinions.

Please pardon my interruption as a newbie; I only thought I'd add as I went through this with a friend, who was 14, a good few years back. I remember sitting for hours while she cried and talked about how scared she was, but puton a strong front for everybody else.
She is doing fine now, and indeed has just given birth to a second boy as she loved motherhood. In fact she is probably a better, more patient mother than me who had my lad a lot later on!

Best of luck whatever the turnout,

H.

Your we;lcome to add your thoughts huni, its what i like about this site, you get a wide and varied mix of views from everybody and its helped me take a step back and calm down abit (im still angry just not as bad)

I think the "I don't care" attitude may well just be a front. My sister is 15 and has a tough front but she's not that tough underneath. There's probably a hell of a lot going through her mind right now, without the baby, and the front may be how she rationalises these thoughts.

I'd be happy to see a guy put on the sex offenders register if he got my sister pregnant but in the long run this may not solve anything - possibly make things worse! Ultimately, it's down to you lot.

One last thing, not speaking to her will not solve anything - I speak from experience! It'll just be another thing to add to the things going through her mind.

Hope everything works out for the best, whatever that may be.

Alex

Originally Posted by yorkie_chris

Probably the only girl living in mixenden who was....

I only lived there for a three years!


So she is having a termination, scary. I suppose there could be a heightened risk with her going full-term, boy I would not like to be in her position right now!

[dizzyblonde]

Originally Posted by Paws

There is no real second option here tbh, shes having a termination as no one in our family could help her bring it up/care for it, also shes way to young to be having a child-shes only a child herself!
Personally i think she should have to carry it and have it (she MAY have to yet, find out wednesday) as she might just wake up to the reality of it all.
*shruggs*
at the end of the day its a no win situ .

ok, so a very young girl indeed. And under circumstances this would be a prefered option...but how far gone is she.

My stance as a mother, I've had two miscarriages, I almost had my son at 26 weeks, which by the power of modern medicine was stopped and he came in to the world late( typical male). But at very early stages this child she is carrying is a child, not a thing or whatever name they want to give it. Its a tiny person. Just my honest thoughts on babies. This is a difficult situ, but at the end of the day, I think she knew what she was doing, so therefore should live with the consequences...its all too easy to throw away babies these days...for want of a better word

WOW 13 and pregnant! Well I understand how surprised you are Paws.

Personally, I believe that she should have an abortion. From whichever point of you you look at it she is not at an age to bring up a kid and this baby if it gets born surely it won't be brought up properly by a 13 year old. So I reckon for the best of both the termination is a wise decision....if it's still an option.

On the other hand, how come her mother didn't notice the throwing up? That her kid has not had a period for 20 weeks, a belly that surely must be a bit bigger than usual?

Finally, don't kids nowadays get any sex talk from the parents and the possible "issues" that might arise i.e. pregnancy, STD etc etc? If I was the girls parent I would have had her locked up by now and made sure the boys parents chopped his balls off!! If I was the guys parent I would chopped the whole system off!!!

and we then wonder why there is so much youth crime in this country!! cause they have noone to bash their heads against a wall when they disregard the parents word!

Originally Posted by 600+

On the other hand, how come her mother didn't notice the throwing up? That her kid has not had a period for 20 weeks, a belly that surely must be a bit bigger than usual?

1) not everyone is affected by morning sickness
2) throwing up is not a difficult thing to hide
3) why would the kid tell her mum she wasnt having a period lol!?

men