Malicious Facebook Message - What to do?

[fizzwheel]

Originally Posted by hovis

i thought you could only message your freinds

Nope you can message anybody, you dont have to be their friend to do so.

Only you and your Mrs can sort this out, I hope this blows over for you, I would not go for any out of character actions, as she may take this as guilt.

Originally Posted by Kate Moss

Just ban the person. You can block contacts. that way they wont be able to see any of your personal info which they could use to create lies.

There's nothing to stop this person creating a new account though.

Kev, my advice is...

1. Talk to your boss. Ask permission to pull logs for web access (you have the rights I assume, but run it past your boss anyway). Do you have a caching proxy that you could parse logs looking for "Sarah Smith"? That would tell you if it was someone in work or not. As you said, no-one from the .Org knows your wifes name.

2. Explain to your wife that you understand how this has made her feel, and that you're not concerned if she feels the need to check up on you, at any point. For any reason. This IMO is better than showing your wife what you've been up to - if someone went out of their way to prove their innocence, I'd be wondering what bits they weren't showing me (slight of hand etc).

3. Book that holiday you were talking to me about. Time away from work (and the Internet) to help put all this behind you. Obviously talk to the wife about this & the reason that you want to get away for a bit.

4. Tell your wife about this thread, if she want's to see it fine, but it'll probably help her mind if she knows how concerned about it you are.

Good luck mate.

Originally Posted by Baph

There's nothing to stop this person creating a new account though.

Kev, my advice is...

1. Talk to your boss. Ask permission to pull logs for web access (you have the rights I assume, but run it past your boss anyway). Do you have a caching proxy that you could parse logs looking for "Sarah Smith"? That would tell you if it was someone in work or not. As you said, no-one from the .Org knows your wifes name.

2. Explain to your wife that you understand how this has made her feel, and that you're not concerned if she feels the need to check up on you, at any point. For any reason. This IMO is better than showing your wife what you've been up to - if someone went out of their way to prove their innocence, I'd be wondering what bits they weren't showing me (slight of hand etc).

3. Book that holiday you were talking to me about. Time away from work (and the Internet) to help put all this behind you. Obviously talk to the wife about this & the reason that you want to get away for a bit.

4. Tell your wife about this thread, if she want's to see it fine, but it'll probably help her mind if she knows how concerned about it you are.

Good luck mate.

+1 some sound advice there

All a bit of a bummer matey, wish you the best of luck. Try not to just dismiss it with your wife.....talk to her about it all

+1 again.

Check any activity around the time that message was sent. Rule work colleagues out (unless someones off today?)

As said, say look, go through anything you want, nothing to hide so search all you want.

That sucks ass!! But I wouldn't put it past some schoolboy ned to be going round sending dodgy messages to loads of people.

Get ur wife to mail them back, playing the "oh my word i've fallen for it" asking for more info. Then go from there

What a terrible thing for someone to do!!! As has been said before it could be anyone, male or female.

It might not be someone at your work, it might be someone close to your wife who wants to get at her by sending the message to her on FB.

Has your wife or both of you unknowingly upset or pee'd anyone off recently? I must admit it would have to be someone pretty close to her/you both to know the details of your bosses name etc...

Just a suggestion as you may be looking in the wrong direction.

[maviczap]

If someone used the Internet at my place of work to do this and I was able to fine out who, apart from my Pulp Fiction type revenge on them, I'd quite happily go down them down the bullying and harresment disciplinary route if I was the manager.

Thankfully Facebook access has been taken away from our place of work & I don't use it.

Good luck on sorting this out.

I feel sick, I would never.....

Originally Posted by krhall

I feel sick, I would never.....

I am not surprised you feel sick with this malicious message on FB. You know this isn't true, I hope you manage to get this sorted out... It makes you wonder what kind of person would go out of their way to do something like this, probably out of envy for the happy family life you have.

+1 to what Baph says

just a point that might help the name is a bit of a hint, most people who use a fictisous name stay close to home eg thier sisters name ,girlfriend ,the girl in their office think of all the sarahs you know and who near them would want to do this.
if you find out who did it im sure we could be having a beer somewhere if something befell them