Parents

I don't think it's about the bike (of course I could be wrong though!).

Kate it might be an idea to sit down with them and talk it over, explaining why you want to and how you feel deep down. Say you really appreciate they're concerned for you, but that you need to make this decision for yourself. I'm sure they just want what's best for you and for you to be happy.

Not everything will be easy, but you've got some good friends on here alone who will support you whatever.

You know where I am if you want a chat

Josh

Gruntygiggles - Some wise words there.

I'm still young but recently, well about 6 months ago, I got the earth shattering news that I was pregnant.

I have always been terrified of disappointing my mum and dad and wouldnt tell tehm anything I thought they wouldnt want to hear.

Needless to say, I didn't tell them and decided I would deal with it on my own. I told one of my best pals, who is a few years older, and she tried to get me to tell them but I wouldn't. Then I realised I was really gonna have to tell them bcause they were gonna find out/pick up that something was wrong (I couldn't eat because I was sick everywhere and I couldn't sleep and was deadly white).

Eventually, I asked my boss if I could finish work early and got one of my friends to drive me the 30 miles home and I asked mum to come outside and I spilled all. She nearly collapsed to begin with but then she just talked it through with me. After about half an hour, I went back to my friends to think.

My mum later told me that she was soo worried because she thought I had been sacked from work!

The moral of the story is that hopefully, your parents will love you and stand by you no matter what you choose to do. Sometimes they may not agree with it or think it is the right option for you and will try their hardest to advise you on another way but if you stick to your ground, they may just surprise you.

I have never been so scared as I was during that half an hour drive home, I thought my mum would've went mental at me, I had vision of her slapping me but she didnt. She just asked me to think before I made any decision.

Just bite the bullet, sit down and tell them. Listen to them and their feelings but don't let them railroad you into something you dont want.

Good luck x

I never used to tell parents anything, but kept getting caught out... then one daythought B*******, this is who I am, and im comfortable with me, they brought me up to be a decent chap. Our relationship has changed their stil my parents but are also pals... we joke about things you probably shouldnt talk to parents about, and I tell them anything without thought of judgement and get their support and help.

I think they brought you up, and if you think your a decent person so will they! I have lots of friends who dont let their folks see the true them, and then I see their parents put on shows for the kids.... both sets play acting... surely better to be honest right.

Good Luck, sure whatever it is it will be fine.... chin up

Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

If you want to write down how you feel, that is your prerogative, but I have only found that to leave people asking why you couldn't just talk to them.

It's been years since I stood up to my parents, but when I did, I didn't make a big drama about it. I could write an essay on how I did it with both my mum and my dad, but that would be pointless as all parent/child relationships are different.

You have to look at yourself for answers to why your parents still treat you like a child. If you allow them to still have a hold over you or a bearing on your decisions in life, you will be reinforcing that they still need to do that.

The moment you can show them that you will do what you want to do for yourself, regardless of their opinions, they will see you as more of an adult.

I would always say to try and be diplomatic and not just disregard their feelings, but just let them know that you understand their concerns, but you want to do this (whatever it is) and so you will. DO NOT be drawn into an argument or lenghthy conversation about it and if they try, just say, "sorry guys, but I've made the decision so there's nothing you can say that will change that, so, shall I stick the kettle on?"
You be the calm one, you be the reasonable one and you be the adult. Then, whatever it is you wanted to do, go ahead and do it, enjoy it and tell them how happy it makes you.

I don't think you can beat the relationship you have with your parents after you go through this kind of battle to be seen as an adult. My mum and I were never that close growing up because I tended to get restrictions put on me so that I didn't make the same mistakes as my sister, but now we are closer than ever.

Sure, she still doesn't like things and has no problem telling me, but that's juts her being a mum that loves me.

Me and Stretchie are doing skydives later this year for charity and both our mums wanted to stop us, but they know they can't and last time I spoke to mum about it, she said, "well, if you're doing it, you have to do it well, so get me some sponsorship forms and I'll raise as much as I can for you"!

I don't tell them everything that's going on in my life, they don;t tell me everything that's going on in theirs. As for riding pillion with Stretchie, my mum knows I do it, but I don't ever talk to her about it or go there on the bike because we have a kind of understanding that she'd rather not know. That's fine with me. I'm not lying and she's not sat at home waiting for a phone call.

Just use your best judgement Kate and handle it the way you think is best for you and your parents, but you really should stand your ground with them at some point as it will be good for all of you.

Don't worry about disappointing them. If they have a problem with anything you do...that is their problem, not yours. You are 24, you should absolutely be able to live your life without worrying about what they think of you and the sooner you address that, the sooner you'll see that all they really want is for you to be happy.

Just go easy on them, you're their little girl and they'll always worry about you and want what's best for you. You just need to let them know that sometimes what they want and what you want are different, that's all there is to it.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Couldn't have put it better myself.

I was a tad tipsy last night when revealed all but anyway, let us know how you get on!

Originally Posted by Milky Bar Kid

I was a tad tipsy last night when revealed all but anyway, let us know how you get on!

the old.. dont drink and post eh!

I have read your post and wish you all the best.

Originally Posted by 454697819

the old.. dont drink and post eh!

I have read your post and wish you all the best.

Hehe!!! I will learn that lesson in time....and my phone should also be confiscated......!!!

Thanks, all is well!x

Originally Posted by EX09LHC

I never used to tell parents anything, but kept getting caught out... then one daythought B*******, this is who I am, and im comfortable with me

Did you then admit you're gay?

They only need to know what you tell them about.

If they find out about something they didn't know about and throw a wobbly, then put them in their place, that its your life and u'll do as you want.

I don't go out to annoy, wind up, or hide anything, they just don't neeeeed to know everything about my life.

If they asked, I would reply, but until then.

I think some peopel get to a point when they realise that they need to live their lifes, not the life their parents wished/wanted them to lead.