Dating Sites

[NTECUK]

You might as well be honest about MotorBikes.And any other intresting hobbies.
My 45 year old freind has some very "Odd" hobbies .He listed them and got allot of dates from it.
Some of them very"Fit" girls too???
Its no were as bad as fishing is it?
My Mrs was in to Motorbikes,Rock music and part of how we met.

[Littlepeahead]

If bikes are your thing then you want any potential dates to know that from the start. That way you are more likely to meet girls who are up for dancing round a camp fire with Dave Preston at some time in the future, than one who moans everytime you go and hang out with your biker mates.

Sometimes it's less about being into the same things from the outset, more about thinking the same way about life and then you can have fun trying something new that your date is into. Poor Mr LPH wasn't into cricket at all when I met him, and back then I worked for a record label and he's into his music so he got to come to loads of gigs with me hich he loved but he knew cricket was a big passion of mine. When it came to our honeymoon, which was nearly a year after we got married he let me choose the destination and was quite happy when I said Sri Lanka. He only found out after I booked it that the dates were planned around 2 England One Day Internationals and a Test match. But he really enjoyed it, and now when we're not biking we often go to matches together. So don't rule out someone because they have a liking for ballroom dancing, showing fancy rats or extreme ironing.

(On second thoughts, perhaps leave the DP dancing until a lot later on.)

Your already a member of the best dating site on the internet. Some of the women that have joined this forum over the 6 years I've been on it, were so desperate to grab a man, all a single guy had to do was turn up at a rideout or camping weekend.

One person who had an experience with dating sites ones told me: "Always approach the new signers! And as quickly after they signed in as possible! Girls who are there for a while already might be bored from all those guys hitting on them, might have lost faith or might be there for a reason (not being attractive, interesting or looking just for sex or ocasional coffee paid by a guy). Offcourse you can find a diamond which is signed already for a long time, but it's much tougher because most of them have already been picked..."

This is not my personal experience, it's his, so I can't guarantee it but it makes a good sense to me, so I wrote it down for you since I think it's a good point.

About contacting the girls. Don't say just "Hello" or "how are you". An attractive girl has heard this probably so many times in her live and almost every time with one certain obvious subcontext...I want you.... You don't want to be one of those guys, do you? You want to stand out of the crowd. Be someone else than all those idiots out there who are the reason that she's on a site like this afterall. Approach her in an interesting and/or funny way which seems genuine. Examples:

You see in her profile that she works as hair stylist, than maybe send her a message like this: "Hi, I saw in your profile that you are a hairstylist. Just today I've been talking with my friend/colleague who has 12 years old sister (niece, whatever..) about her getting a new hair cut and she wants to get "this or that" haircut (or change colour). Do you think it would fit an 12 year old girl in these days (is it OK for her to change colour this young regarding her long term hair health)?"

or you see that she is a chef in an Italian restaurant, then you can say something like this: "Hi I can see in your profile that you are a chef in italian restaurant, so maybe you can help me set up a dispute which I have with my colleague/friend about what is the most classical italian pizza. I say it's margherita, he sais it's prosciutto. What you think is the right one?"


There could be many other ways how to approach her but I believe that in way like this you show her that you've read her profile (so you're genuinely intersted in her as a person..not just her look), that you have friends so you're probably a nice and interesting person and people want to be around you, that you're not needy writing her just about how beautiful her eyes are and how much you want to meet her...she knows that anyway...you're both on a dating site after all...

After this if she will respond, than you have broken the ice with a genuine conversation and you can continue in it in any direction you want (on this topic or something else) and that's where it all starts

Originally Posted by mufman

One person who had an experience with dating sites ones told me: "Always approach the new signers! And as quickly after they signed in as possible! Girls who are there for a while already might be bored from all those guys hitting on them, might have lost faith or might be there for a reason (not being attractive, interesting or looking just for sex or ocasional coffee paid by a guy). Offcourse you can find a diamond which is signed already for a long time, but it's much tougher because most of them have already been picked..."

This is not my personal experience, it's his, so I can't guarantee it but it makes a good sense to me, so I wrote it down for you since I think it's a good point.

About contacting the girls. Don't say just "Hello" or "how are you". An attractive girl has heard this probably so many times in her live and almost every time with one certain obvious subcontext...I want you.... You don't want to be one of those guys, do you? You want to stand out of the crowd. Be someone else than all those idiots out there who are the reason that she's on a site like this afterall. Approach her in an interesting and/or funny way which seems genuine. Examples:

You see in her profile that she works as hair stylist, than maybe send her a message like this: "Hi, I saw in your profile that you are a hairstylist. Just today I've been talking with my friend/colleague who has 12 years old sister (niece, whatever..) about her getting a new hair cut and she wants to get "this or that" haircut (or change colour). Do you think it would fit an 12 year old girl in these days (is it OK for her to change colour this young regarding her long term hair health)?"

or you see that she is a chef in an Italian restaurant, then you can say something like this: "Hi I can see in your profile that you are a chef in italian restaurant, so maybe you can help me set up a dispute which I have with my colleague/friend about what is the most classical italian pizza. I say it's margherita, he sais it's prosciutto. What you think is the right one?"


There could be many other ways how to approach her but I believe that in way like this you show her that you've read her profile (so you're genuinely intersted in her as a person..not just her look), that you have friends so you're probably a nice and interesting person and people want to be around you, that you're not needy writing her just about how beautiful her eyes are and how much you want to meet her...she knows that anyway...you're both on a dating site after all...

After this if she will respond, than you have broken the ice with a genuine conversation and you can continue in it in any direction you want (on this topic or something else) and that's where it all starts

Sorry but I have to disagree that the classic hello how are you doesnt work. Yes just opening with that and nothing else seems pointless to a sense but if you include some of your points about her career and be genuine about it as I mentioned previously then it will go a long way. But I don't believe that ruling out Hello how are you is all that necessary as it is a polite way of approaching someone even if it overlooked by the paragraph after the initial hello.

Also long lenghthy messages just tend to make some people lose interest, as nice as some girls may be, most people on the site prefer the first few messages to be straight to the point of "hello I found your profile and yes I am interested in you, I read your profile and I want to chat" Then I believe the conversation can develop from there...

Just speaking from experience. And just because you are on a site for a while (not sure how long we are talking) doesn't mean there is necessarily something wrong with the girl, perhaps it's the people who are approaching her with what she doesn't feel si what she actually wants and vice versa with the guys on a dating site

[JamesMio]

Why not try your luck with our very own gaggle of resident fillies..?

Does anyone know the general availability of Madame's Gracie, Milky & Co..? Shared hobby would certainly be a good starting point there!

[Jayneflakes]

I met the Mrs on a dating site and have been together now for over four years.

One tip, avoid odd looking girls who put things like TV/CD after their hobbies! well, unless you like that sort of thing. Another thing to remember is that there are several women bikers who can't find a bloke/woman because of the bike thing too, so always say from the start and suddenly you become Mr Interesting to the right lass. I stated in my profile that I owned a sports bike (but failed to mention that I did not have a license! ) and this is what made the wife contact me.

Don't forget to add a good photo of yourself, a shot of you in your bike kit is also good because Leathers can look great on a strapping lad. Don't forget, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince.

I was on Match for a while (before I gave up on blokes for being gits) and did meet a guy I was with for over a year. I look at that part of my life as experimenting, it is something that many do and I don't regret it, even if he did have a cheesey whatsit! Final tip (and you would be surprised how many guys and girls need to learn this!) have a good shower and trim before each date, then add clean clothes including pants/knickers and a breath mint if you are a smoker. Never mention Bondage and domination on your first date unless you have mentioned it on your profile!

Good luck and hope that you find Miss Right, don't forget to show her pic to the Org so we can judge if she is good enough for you! Have fun XXX

Originally Posted by miss_tactcom7

Sorry but I have to disagree that the classic hello how are you doesnt work. Yes just opening with that and nothing else seems pointless to a sense but if you include some of your points about her career and be genuine about it as I mentioned previously then it will go a long way. But I don't believe that ruling out Hello how are you is all that necessary as it is a polite way of approaching someone even if it overlooked by the paragraph after the initial hello.

There is nothing wrong with "Hello, how are you", I agree, but, if she's attractive, I can only imagine how many "Hello, how are you" she receives every week/day.... And do I want to be one of the million? No, I don't...because if you're one of the million your chances are 1:1000000. If you stand out of the crowd and become the one who's different than others than it's no longer 1:1000000 anymore. You simply have bigger chances.

Originally Posted by miss_tactcom7

Also long lenghthy messages just tend to make some people lose interest, as nice as some girls may be, most people on the site prefer the first few messages to be straight to the point of "hello I found your profile and yes I am interested in you, I read your profile and I want to chat" Then I believe the conversation can develop from there...

Agree on the shortness of the message. Don't agree about the "I am interested in you". She's on the dating site, he's on the dating site, he's sending her a message....they both know what it is all about. The same story as I don't want the teller in the cinema explaining me that their cinema is showing movies to customers if they buy a ticket We both know that already.

Originally Posted by miss_tactcom7

Just speaking from experience. And just because you are on a site for a while (not sure how long we are talking) doesn't mean there is necessarily something wrong with the girl, perhaps it's the people who are approaching her with what she doesn't feel si what she actually wants and vice versa with the guys on a dating site

Agree. And I wrote it there before in my friends experience, it's still possible to find an interesting girl who is on the site for a while but the chance is smaller because many interesting girls have been already picked and those who are still there may have met so many jerks that they are really anoyed and think that all those guys there are jerks that they might not reply to a guy who's not and who they would have replied few months ago before they got anoyed.


I definitely don't say that some stuff works and some stuff doesn't. It's just about increasing your chances, the probability of meeting an interesting girl. If someone wants to have a nice, sunny, rain free, hot, summer holiday on a beach, I don't say that you can't get it on the beaches of Brighton, but you have a better chance if you will go to the south of France or Italy.

[Fallout]

Dude. I could offer some real gems on dating sites, though I'm pretty sure they will be lost in the reams of advice being offered by people here.

One ESSENTIAL bit of advice I would say though is, it's a game! It really is. As serious as you may be about finding a girl, everyone is playing a game, trying to bag themselves the best possible mate. People are punching well above their weight, aiming for hotties out of their league as if, somehow if they keep trying, it'll happen. Some people will have you as their second, third, or fourth choice, hoping things go right with another guy, ready to drop you or turn to you at a moments notice. It's a ****ing shambles of unrealistic expectation, bull****ting, charades and false hope.

Until you are actually on a date talking to the real person, don't invest any emotion, don't be disappointed, don't get your hopes up, and play the game. Play the statistics, message lots of people, never be disheartened and only take it remotely serious when youre ACTUALLY ON A DATE.

Also, consider going premium and paying for the site. It's a small price to pay when you consider your potential happiness.

Oh, and photos. Loads of tips I could give you on photos. Link us to the ones you're using!

[daveangel]

I'm in a similar boat to you rory, pretty shy too and the dating sites are a great way to get a conversation going and I can choose how far away, or in my case must be a non smoker.

Smooch.com is a free site that is useful as a back up to the paid ones.

Tweak your profile as often as you like & keep it modest-ish & straight to the point, mention the bikes & keep it honest & truthful, some people lie about the most obvious stuff, work, age etc!

I always have a good look at her profile, find an interest/music etc & ask her something about herself, the one subject we all know lots about, try not to use text chat and and put your real name at the end.

Watch out for automatic renewals, use Paypal then you can cancel it on Paypal, some sites are awkward to get the renewal stopped.

Good Luck! I'm in contact with a lady at the moment, hopefully meeting up soon!