The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

[fizzwheel]

Originally Posted by cuffy

2 gay men in are in the toilet when one notices the other has a nicotine patch on his manhood.
"does it help?"









"Oh yeah, i'm down to 2 butts a day now"

Your finest work

A farmer in Dover has successfully planted the world’s first dildo field. Unfortunately he has now been invaded by squatters.

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he $h1t$ on you."

This is funnyish, actually it tickled me and could spark off a discussion

Take 60 seconds to do this, it's too funny not to.



Go to www.google.com <http://www.google.com>

Click on "maps"

Click on "get directions"

Type " New York " in the first box (the "from" box)

Type " London " in the second box (the "to" box)

Hit get directions

Scroll down to step #24

Another one?! Where have you guys been for the last two weeks, practising by swimming across the canal?!

I seen it on a website and was bemused how it calculates how fast you are going and the constant speed you will be going, do we think there is a speed limit on the sea

Originally Posted by plowsie

I seen it on a website and was bemused how it calculates how fast you are going and the constant speed you will be going, do we think there is a speed limit on the sea

Not yet no, but don't let Brunstrum know about it!

Should really read back into all the post should i

Little Johnny's neighbours had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby wasborn without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital
Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with himand explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that ifhe so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or evensaid the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when theycame back home.


Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny lookedin the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feetand beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautifuleyes. "Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he willhave 20/20 vision


"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be fu~~d if he needed glasses."

The old ones are the best Swiss except over here we put a bit of a slant on them lol,dare not post them though