Sarah's Law

[gruntygiggles]

Originally Posted by Milky Bar Kid

Whilst in essence I agree with the above statement, it is not always so black and white. In the majority of cases with sexual abuse on children it is a trusted family friend or a family memeber. Very rarely "stranger rape" for want of a better expression

The post that you quoted was a response I gave to something MissYC had posted. In my first post on this subject, It does say that my mum taught Rhiannon and I what was right and wrong regarding conduct between children and adults and she taught us both that it would never be our fault, we would never get in trouble for telling and that we could tell her or dad about it, whoever it was.

As an adendeum to that, I never felt very comfortable around my uncle Martin. I told mum, she asked me right out had he ever done anything I didn't like and I said no, I just didn't like him and felt uncomfortable around him. She never questioned me on that and when we went to visit him and my auntie Judith, I was allowed to just sit on my dads lap the whole time.

It's hard to admit to the fact I used to feel that way about someone who later killed himself, but he had issues, maybe I just picked up on those when I was young. Who knows, but it later transpired that he was indeed an incredible bully to auntie Judith, he had hit her on a number of occasions and given what later happened with Ellen, maybe her and Kieran saw that???

Point is, mum let me know I could tell her, so I did. I think that this kind of protection HAS to start at home. Parents absolutely need to take responsibility. A girl (12) from the flats near my old place in Bristol was kidnapped about 5 years ago. She was walking to the petrol station to get milk for her mum at 9.50pm. Yes it was the summer and was still light, but WTF??? No child of mine will EVER be allowed to walk out on city centre pavements at any time, let alone 9.50pm alone!

That mother was moaning and bi!ching about the state of society, but she was totally responsible for her 12 year old child, she sent her out alone at that time and so she put her daughter in a compromising and ultimately dangerous situation. The girl was fine luckily and opened the rear door of the van when it stopped at lights!

But those are my points....the buck stops with the parents as far as I'm concerned. It's not always a parents fault, but too many parents think that it's societies responsibility to look after their children and that is where many problems start!

Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

The post that you quoted was a response I gave to something MissYC had posted. In my first post on this subject, It does say that my mum taught Rhiannon and I what was right and wrong regarding conduct between children and adults and she taught us both that it would never be our fault, we would never get in trouble for telling and that we could tell her or dad about it, whoever it was.

As an adendeum to that, I never felt very comfortable around my uncle Martin. I told mum, she asked me right out had he ever done anything I didn't like and I said no, I just didn't like him and felt uncomfortable around him. She never questioned me on that and when we went to visit him and my auntie Judith, I was allowed to just sit on my dads lap the whole time.

It's hard to admit to the fact I used to feel that way about someone who later killed himself, but he had issues, maybe I just picked up on those when I was young. Who knows, but it later transpired that he was indeed an incredible bully to auntie Judith, he had hit her on a number of occasions and given what later happened with Ellen, maybe her and Kieran saw that???

Point is, mum let me know I could tell her, so I did. I think that this kind of protection HAS to start at home. Parents absolutely need to take responsibility. A girl (12) from the flats near my old place in Bristol was kidnapped about 5 years ago. She was walking to the petrol station to get milk for her mum at 9.50pm. Yes it was the summer and was still light, but WTF??? No child of mine will EVER be allowed to walk out on city centre pavements at any time, let alone 9.50pm alone!

That mother was moaning and bi!ching about the state of society, but she was totally responsible for her 12 year old child, she sent her out alone at that time and so she put her daughter in a compromising and ultimately dangerous situation. The girl was fine luckily and opened the rear door of the van when it stopped at lights!

But those are my points....the buck stops with the parents as far as I'm concerned. It's not always a parents fault, but too many parents think that it's societies responsibility to look after their children and that is where many problems start!

I did read your original post and I do think your parents had it spot on.

The other problem you have got is, although parents may tell children to tell them if anyone ever touches them but these kind of people, although sick, tend to be very good with children. They seem to understand how the mind of child works and then they build up trust with the child before striking. Then they say that if the child speaks up they will do various nasty things like killing them/their mum and dad/dog/cat/horse or whatever they know the child loves the most.

Whilst I do agree that in some instances parents need to accept more responsibility, I do think it's hard to say the buck stops with the parents.

[gruntygiggles]

Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

The post that you quoted was a response I gave to something MissYC had posted. In my first post on this subject, It does say that my mum taught Rhiannon and I what was right and wrong regarding conduct between children and adults and she taught us both that it would never be our fault, we would never get in trouble for telling and that we could tell her or dad about it, whoever it was.

As an adendeum to that, I never felt very comfortable around my uncle Martin. I told mum, she asked me right out had he ever done anything I didn't like and I said no, I just didn't like him and felt uncomfortable around him. She never questioned me on that and when we went to visit him and my auntie Judith, I was allowed to just sit on my dads lap the whole time.

It's hard to admit to the fact I used to feel that way about someone who later killed himself, but he had issues, maybe I just picked up on those when I was young. Who knows, but it later transpired that he was indeed an incredible bully to auntie Judith, he had hit her on a number of occasions and given what later happened with Ellen, maybe her and Kieran saw that???

Point is, mum let me know I could tell her, so I did. I think that this kind of protection HAS to start at home. Parents absolutely need to take responsibility. A girl (12) from the flats near my old place in Bristol was kidnapped about 5 years ago. She was walking to the petrol station to get milk for her mum at 9.50pm. Yes it was the summer and was still light, but WTF??? No child of mine will EVER be allowed to walk out on city centre pavements at any time, let alone 9.50pm alone!

That mother was moaning and bi!ching about the state of society, but she was totally responsible for her 12 year old child, she sent her out alone at that time and so she put her daughter in a compromising and ultimately dangerous situation. The girl was fine luckily and opened the rear door of the van when it stopped at lights!

But those are my points....the buck stops with the parents as far as I'm concerned. It's not always a parents fault, but too many parents think that it's societies responsibility to look after their children and that is where many problems start!

I didn't make it clear as I could have that I believe the buck stops with the parents in cases such as that in green type above, so apologies if it seems like I was saying that it's all the parents fault when these things happen. As my last paragraph says, it's not always the parents fault. It wouldn't be an issue if there weren't such sick indviduals out there. However, while there are many many parents that do tell their children the same things that my parents taught me, not all parents do and not all parents give their children the confidence that they can indeed talk to them. My neighbours now......they are lovely people and great parents to the girls, but neither daughter can tell them anything remotely negative about anything because their mum epsecially, although she thinks she's a great listener and a supportive parent is impossible for them to approach and talk to. There are a lot of parents like that.

I do totally get the point you make however about these predators being extremely clever and skilled at intimidating children into keeping quiet. This is way beyond the control of the parent as in most cases I would guess that the child is keeping quiet in an effort to protect the parents from threats that may have been made. It must be every parents worst nightmare and I wouldn't have a clue where to start to deal with something like this. The only thing we can do then is when these predators become known to the authorities, they are better dealt with upon release in order to protect more children from becoming victims.

[the_lone_wolf]

Originally Posted by carty

Agreed, if you take the story at face value it shows that publishing details of sex offenders is likely to lead to some people having unease with offenders in their area, however, it's just more empty BBC reporting to me, full of information that can be interpreted any way you want. It doesn't tell us anything about the state of Mr Davies' health prior to the allegations, it doesn't tell us why the girls might have wanted to sleep over at the Davies' house in the first place, etc, etc. The BBC's news 'stories' are so full of holes it's ridiculous.

I never said I thought the abuse and death were related, simply pointed out what happens when information is given to people too stupid to use it correctly

Originally Posted by the_lone_wolf

I never said I thought the abuse and death were related, simply pointed out what happens when information is given to people too stupid to use it correctly

I know, I wasn't saying you were wrong at all, I was just bemoaning how the BBC's stories these days only give one side to the story, when there is clearly so much more to it.

Originally Posted by Drew Carey

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I don't know much about law etc, but having read earlier posts this doesn't seem to happen, only seems to happen at 2/3'rds. Why release after short periods anyway?!?!? If your guilty, do the time.

I got told by a PC - "that's life and it ain't gonna change"
Great advice for the victims?