Most embarrassing/unexpected accident?

That little incident cost me dearly as well... kinda went into my shell after that, and not come out since.. I cant really explain it, but it killed any confidence in doing anything I ever had... and its taken me 6 years to get some of that back. Im very quiet compared to what I use to be like before that day.. use to be a bubbly person, would talk to anyone about anything... now I cant even say boo to a ghost

Originally Posted by valleyboy

That little incident cost me dearly as well... kinda went into my shell after that, and not come out since.. I cant really explain it, but it killed any confidence in doing anything I ever had... and its taken me 6 years to get some of that back. Im very quiet compared to what I use to be like before that day.. use to be a bubbly person, would talk to anyone about anything... now I cant even say boo to a ghost

hope you have a great birthday VB

Originally Posted by Razor

I had my most embarassing accident last week so it's still too fresh for me to re-hash it here. Ask me next year mebbe.

This might be for the best.
I would imagine that Razors standards of embarrassment would leave most of us in the shade.

Ahh this thread has exceeded my wildest expectations ...

Why is it that I find the sharty incidents the funnyest?!!? ... my sense of humor I guess?!?!

It also seems that drink was involved in the majority of embarrassing incidents ...

Did I forget to mention I was eating through a straw for several weeks afterwards ? as well as not being able to talk as my jaw ached like hell for ages, as well as my lips being rather swollen...

one of my lecturers at the time thought I had been fighting in a rugby game...

Originally Posted by valleyboy

Did I forget to mention I was eating through a straw for several weeks afterwards ? as well as not being able to talk as my jaw ached like hell for ages, as well as my lips being rather swollen...

one of my lecturers at the time thought I had been fighting in a rugby game...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA, oh the memories

*Racing my mate on our pushbike, she lost the first time, second time round she threw a big rock in front of bike..straight over the handelbars..top teeth through bottom lip and a cut all my chin open.

*Pet Gerbil bit THROUGH my finger, down to bone, my dad told me not to make such a fuss until he saw how deep it was! needless to say, i passed out!

*Cleaning up a broken glass in my room, slit my finger open-passed out

*Last year at home, STOOD on a glass framed picture by accident, trip to hospital to have toe stitched up.

*This year, trying to be clever, riding a friends horse with no saddle out on the road, wind blew a sign-made horse jump, i got thrown off and dragged across the road and up a gravel drive.(i was semi with it, so was holding onto reins hence why i got dragged)

Everyone seems to have had nice quickie accidents, my recent debacle was slow but no less embarrassing.
You see I had to go to the doctor’s again and I really didn’t want to.
A month back I’d had a prostate check-up, no problem apart from the deep embarrassment. I kept a close eye on the quack. You know, just in case he was gripping me with both hands.
And now I was returning, and the embarrassment was off the scale.
I’d bought some Cordura pants from Ace here in Norwich. They felt OK in the shop, but either they shrank, I grew, or vanity got the best of me – but they were ‘snug’. Leaping onto the bike snug just became tight. Gripping in fact. Below the waistband, but just above the old man.
So tight the thigh pockets were starting to fail at the inner corners.
But back to the Doctor’s.
Now around the same time a large bulging vein had appeared on the end of my shaft, worrying. So I’m straight on to Google. (Here’s a tip for your test, if you think you aren’t taking enough lifesaver looks over your shoulder, try surfing ‘Penile Dysfunction’ at work in an open plan office).
Not knowing all the Medical jargon, I concluded it was a blocked lymph duct. “Leave it alone and it will clear on 3 days” was the advice. Cause? Apparently brought on by excessive self-abuse or prolonged (possibly deviant) sexual activity. Not guilty your honour! But also not keen to share with doctor.
Well three days? Ha! Three WEEKS later and I’m still the man with the sensitive tool with the Alaska pipeline poking out of the ground. I’ve also got what appeared to be a piece of fishing line running down the length of the top of the old fella.
I’d have left it and hoped for the best. However my Frustrated Girlfriend is an ex-Nurse (bad enough) and one of her daughters is a Hospital Senior Houseman. So she’s threatening to let the sausage out of the bag, in a sharing, caring get-that-sucker-fixed way. Naturally, I didn’t want to be classed as a perverted w*nker by her kids, so off to the doctors and him on with gloves again.
“It looks like a thrombosis of the dorsal vein” he pronounced. He knew his stuff, a quick look at the internet (Google again) and he even got a name “Mondor’s Disease”.
Of course this time the cause was not only excessive self-abuse and ‘a bit of rough’ in the fecking department, but also possible over enthusiastic use of pervy clamps and S&M fetish equipment. (Believe me - I’m still innocent your honour! But does anyone listen?).
Back to work, back on the web, and back to Penile Dysfunction (got wing mirrors fitted to my monitor now, cuts down the whiplash) but now I knew the beast and its name is Mondor.
Turns out there is a case history there. The subject stated he had been wearing a ‘tight toolbelt’ (unfortunate I know) at work, but the Medics pooh-poohed that. “Too much perverted sex and w*nking with bulldog clips” they said.
Since then I have got bigger pants from Ace and am happy to report all is well. The only things throbbing between my legs now are my SV and my Wee Twin Yamaha XSV125.
I guess the moral of this story is small pants, big tanks and long rides don’t mix.

I told the girlfriend Mondor was a famous porn star and she believed me.
(Now where did I put those Jazz mags and wood clamps…???)

My Dad was teaching me to weld (oxy acetylene) and I was getting on okay so he left me to it. Wanting to check out my handywork, I lifted up the mask with the burning torch still in my hand - burnt a line down the side of my head. Then, in a fit of panic/pain I drop the torch and somehow manage to push the hot welding rod into my palm. I have never welded since!

Originally Posted by Paws

*Racing my mate on our pushbike, she lost the first time, second time round she threw a big rock in front of bike..straight over the handelbars..top teeth through bottom lip and a cut all my chin open.

*Pet Gerbil bit THROUGH my finger, down to bone, my dad told me not to make such a fuss until he saw how deep it was! needless to say, i passed out!

*Cleaning up a broken glass in my room, slit my finger open-passed out

*Last year at home, STOOD on a glass framed picture by accident, trip to hospital to have toe stitched up.

*This year, trying to be clever, riding a friends horse with no saddle out on the road, wind blew a sign-made horse jump, i got thrown off and dragged across the road and up a gravel drive.(i was semi with it, so was holding onto reins hence why i got dragged)

And not a drop of drink mentioned in any of them

But have you had a But incident??? that's what the boys wanna hear about!?!?

YoungMan - thanks for that ... I got the giggles again ...