Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick). There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too. |
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13-05-13, 08:51 PM | #791 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
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14-05-13, 05:45 AM | #792 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Top Ten Ways
You know you're a pikey when..... 1. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 3. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in school. 4. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 5. One of your kids was conceived on a pool table 6. You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures. 7. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge'. 8. You wonder which football top and tracksuit bottoms to wear this week. 9. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. 10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. .
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...Bill "The Mountains are calling and I must go" Last edited by BanannaMan; 14-05-13 at 05:55 AM. |
14-05-13, 08:28 AM | #793 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
A pikey in school? God bless America!
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14-05-13, 08:55 AM | #794 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
You know you're Taliban when:
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You have more wives than teeth. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.' You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.' You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat. |
15-05-13, 06:50 PM | #795 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
A south African view:
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." When Mandela was made president he said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land." Today, the ANC has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, tolled the Highways and Byways and mortgaged the Promised Land to the Chinese. I was so depressed last night thinking about Jacob Zuma, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, corruption, the toll roads, retirement funds, etc .... I called a suicide hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call centre in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...... Folks, we're screwed ..... |
15-05-13, 09:05 PM | #796 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
. . just like us, then?
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21-05-13, 07:23 PM | #797 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM! Were you abused by a celebrity in the seventies or eighties? Did Jim fix it for you? Where you one of Rolf's two little boys? Did you get serviced in Kevin Webster's garage? Remember where there's a stain, there's a claim! Simply text MYARSEISSTILLSORE .. To 81300
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23-05-13, 12:39 PM | #798 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
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How to amuze an idiot: Look right-> <-Look Left Last edited by _Stretchie_; 23-05-13 at 12:42 PM. |
23-05-13, 03:57 PM | #799 |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
thanks stretchie
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23-05-13, 11:56 PM | #800 | |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Quote:
I wonder if we could re-edit a certain Tazer related classic on here to do the same... Oh and I have improved the image you get when clicking on the above link.
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