Women

Originally Posted by Jayneflakes

Sorry boys, but from my experience, you lot are 'orrible. While I type this my Ex Boyfriend who has come to visit and my current Girlfriend who I live with, are discussing computer techie stuff while having a fag, so I think that I can comment quite freely on both.

Girls
Smell nice
Are soft to the touch
Are a nice shape
Wear nice clothes
Make nice noises when being intimate
Enjoy going out as a couple
Will share House work
Will be sporting with you
Look good in a mini skirt



Boys
Smell funny
Are covered in sticky out bits and course sharp hair that irritates the skin
Can be nice, but tend to have a beer belly and are dressed by their Mum
Think that changing their pants once a day is optional
Grunt like they are changing a tyre
Enjoy going out with their mates
Want a cook, cleaner and child minder
Will be sporting against you
Can look good in a mini skirt

Women are not mad, we are just sick of your Sh*t!

However, if you boys think you have it bad, try being a girl and in a relationship with a girl.

Bad points
She uses your razor to do her overly busy bikini, but leaves the blade!
She borrows your clothes, puts them in her drawer and you have to buy more.
She gets mood swings at the same time that you do.
Her Mother asks which one of you acts in the man role.
Her brother creeps you out by asking if he can watch.
He Father has the chat with you, but gets confused because he keeps looking at your chest.
Being intimate means playing Scrabble, unless she is dyslexic.
Your own Mother ask how you are going to give them Grandchildren and then cries.
She has a bigger bust than you and you get jealous.
She has a smaller waist than you and you get jealous.
She has smaller feet than your own gargantuan plates of meat and her shoes are prettier.


Actually, why do I want to spend any time with other human beings at all, I am sticking with Religion and staying away from that kind of thing!

Originally Posted by flymo

give us a break Messie, it's only a little banter. Is this place having a sense of humor failure lately?

[Paul the 6th]

Go easy on messie guys, she's only trying to keep it all in good taste. Try sticking to anecdotal stuff instead of peddling old stereotypes, just makes the petition for man & woman island far more appealing.

Last night me and the missus were deciding what to have for tea, she said she wanted sweet& sour pork, I wants chicken wrap with salad. So we did our own meals - I was starving & snaffled mine in about 2 minutes, only to have her complain that I didn't offer her any??????????

"you said you didn't want chicken though?"
"yeah well it would have been nice to have the choice"
"YOU DID HAVE THE CHOICE WHEN WE STARTED MAKING THE FOOD!"

Reason is treason..

What's with that eating your food thing?

Wife & I were in a Wetherspoons & both got one of those beer & burger deals. They brought the food over at the same time, put it on the table & wife took one of my chips. WE HAD THE SAME MEAL!! I'm still bitter & remind her. It was almost a decade ago.

[Wideboy]

Because they always want things they already have plenty of, like shoes and bags!

[Paul the 6th]

These things are sent to try us hol, keep your chin up. Food envy is a dangerous thing..

[Paul the 6th]

Originally Posted by Wideboy

Because they always want things they already have plenty of, like shoes and bags!

There's only one Wideboy, how will minimorcambe cope if she can't obtain more?

[Geodude]

+1 PT6. Messie is the voice of reason, someones got to keep us right

[Paul the 6th]

I know we're not meant to have favorites... she's one of the good guys. Gals. Women... A woman... Oh.........

[littleoldman2]

The way you two are sucking up she must have an iron will, sharp tongue or large chest.