SV650.org - SV650 & Gladius 650 Forum



Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick).
There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-12-07, 09:43 PM   #1
Davie
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

This got the whole of Sydney laughing. Read it and you'll see why! Just
imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many
Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney .

The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is
called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are
married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant
answers'yes',he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal
questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with
(phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same =
three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City
drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the fu**iest thing
you've heard yet.

Anyway, here's how it all went down:
**********************************************

DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?'


Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.'


DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if
you win.
What is your name? First only please.'

Contestant: 'Brian.'


DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?'


Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.'


DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.'


Brian: 'Sara.'


DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?'


Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.'


DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?'


Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.'


DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?'


Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.'


DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.'


Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...'


DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?'


Brian: 'About 10 minutes.'


DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said
that if a trip wasn't at stake.'

Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.'


DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this =
morning?


Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...'


DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?'


Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us
for couple of weeks...'


DJ: 'Uh huh...'


Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.'

DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.'

Brian: 'On the kitchen table.'


DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than theprevious hundred
times I've done it.
Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and
call her up.


You listen to this.'
[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]


DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch
tones.....ringing....)


Clerk: 'Kinkos.'

DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?'

Clerk: 'This is she.'


DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.'

Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?'

DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
give any\answers away or you'll lose.
Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?'

Sarah: 'No.'

DJ: 'Good!'


Brian: (laughing)


Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?'


Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely honest.'


DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If
your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of youwill be off to
the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.


Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.'

DJ: 'Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?'

Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.'


DJ: 'What time?'

Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.'

DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?'


Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.'

DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect is
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away
from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?'


Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.'


DJ: 'Where did you have it?'


Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?'


Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.'


DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?'


Sarah: 'Well...'


DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?


Sarah: 'Up the a**e.....'

They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have
a heart attack , he could not stop laughing.
Apperently there was an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police
just after this conversation , for minor traffic collisions.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-07, 09:47 PM   #2
Frank
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

stupid mare
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-07, 10:00 PM   #3
dirtydog
Knob faced knobster
Mega Poster
 
dirtydog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Haslemere
Posts: 5,422
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

Heard that one a while ago now, still makes me laugh though
__________________
2011 Speed Triple 1050
dirtydog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-07, 10:23 PM   #4
DoubleD
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

still makes me laugh. very funny.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-07, 10:37 PM   #5
Wideboy
Evel Knievel
Mega Poster
 
Wideboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Eastleigh
Posts: 4,641
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

haha foony
__________________

05 DRZ400E
RIP hovis
Wideboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-07, 11:22 PM   #6
phil24_7
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

pmsl!
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-07, 04:59 PM   #7
Kate Moss
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

Quote:
Originally Posted by phil24_7 View Post
pmsl!
dont that sound like something i would say!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-07, 05:04 PM   #8
yorkie_chris
Noisy Git
Mega Poster
 
yorkie_chris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Halifax/Leeds
Posts: 26,645
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs24_7 View Post
dont that sound like something i would say!!
How very interesting
__________________
Currently Ex Biker
Now rebuilding a 63' fishing trawler as a dive boat
yorkie_chris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-07, 05:07 PM   #9
Kate Moss
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkie_chris View Post
How very interesting
no no no!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-07, 05:08 PM   #10
yorkie_chris
Noisy Git
Mega Poster
 
yorkie_chris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Halifax/Leeds
Posts: 26,645
Default Re: Sometimes it's better to keep quiet

You know you really mean yes...



(Tip for you, when you're in a hole, stop f###ing digging )
__________________
Currently Ex Biker
Now rebuilding a 63' fishing trawler as a dive boat
yorkie_chris is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why I've been so quiet... monkey Soho Massive 3 01-12-07 06:03 PM
Quiet again ArtyLady The Essex Lounge 35 12-06-07 03:39 PM
Bit quiet in here... Jdubya The Essex Lounge 27 27-03-07 07:53 PM
quiet? hovis Idle Banter 15 16-02-07 10:46 PM
All quiet in ere! Ward8124 East Anglian Revolution 17 12-11-06 09:46 PM


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:11 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® - Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.