My god I'm.... Project manager

[_Stretchie_]

If you haven't seen the thread please cast your eyes over here

http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=110437

Or here is a summary..

The lads got issues and can't ask a girl out, been building up for a while, (sorry Kinvig, no pun intended ) and we need to bring this to a close for the lad.

What we need for this is a proper Project manager.. Anyone done Prince 2 and can help out.

We need a PID creating, and a list of resources needed with a clear concise plan of action and perhaps some testing involved.

All those that may be able to please add your 2p in here.



Guys together we can do this remember, this is a .ORGER we are talking about..

ONE OF US..

There is no I in team!!
But if you look closly you can see 'me'

[fizzwheel]

You're going to need a Business Analyst. I nominate me.

I guarantee you that I will spend ages throughly researching the situation, I will draw up a nice set of documentation showing all the options and which one represents the biggest benefit versus budgetary spend, hell I'll even do a board presentation for you with some nice powerpoint slides. I guarantee to do this in 3 months.

I also guarantee that I'll charge you a fortune and that the eventual outcome will be exactly what you could have worked out for yourself in a day or so and at least a 1/8th of the cost.

I've also done a Prince 2 course, I'm familiar with "Agile" business models and I am a whizz with Microsoft Project.

Hows that sound ?

If you need a logistics and transprt manager count me in, plus Ive got me own gloves as well

If you need a nurse to catch him when he faints at her saying yes count me in...... plus i can give advice on contraception

[Lissa]

If you need a 'big stick hitter-with-er' to stop him being such a chicken, I'm eminently suitable for that position

Originally Posted by fizzwheel

I am a whizz with Microsoft Project.

So you draw up really vague project plans for people with unrealistic deadlines which help not one bit other than to line your own pockets? We have your sort in work too!

I'll be the Papua New Guinea Ambassador if that helps

No need for any management......just keep throwing money at the problem, sooner or later some of it will hit the right spot - or the problem will be declared "solved" due to no one willing to admit that after that many resources it hasn't been

So my vote is to have a whip round, raise a Million pounds and see her eyes open wide or........see what she will do for ?1.97

[_Stretchie_]

Great, I nominate this be the 'Excessive re-numeration within the nation getting with her with no hesitation HIT SQUAD'

You are all hired I will immediatly contact our customer and tell him he has hired us... Like it or not and we promise not to deliver on time or come in ANYWHERE near burdget

Thanks guys

[fizzwheel]

Originally Posted by gettin2dizzy

So you draw up really vague project plans for people with unrealistic deadlines which help not one bit other than to line your own pockets? We have your sort in work too!

I'll be the Papua New Guinea Ambassador if that helps

No thats what I have assistants for. God man you actually think I dirty myself by touching the keyboard

*shudders at the thought*

[Drew Carey]

Originally Posted by Wayluya

No need for any management......just keep throwing money at the problem, sooner or later some of it will hit the right spot - or the problem will be declared "solved" due to no one willing to admit that after that many resources it hasn't been

So my vote is to have a whip round, raise a Million pounds and see her eyes open wide or........see what she will do for ?1.97

As I work in Finance I would like to suggest that throwing endless amounts of money at this will not lead to a solution.

Does anyone have a budget in mind?