What makes you fart alot?

[Vickster]

Following a delightful micro-meal yesterday evening, I am still feeling the 'passing' of lentils through my stomach. I never realised they made me fart so much. So what makes you fart? (ok we all know beans and curry, I am, 'researching' obscure ones).

thanks

[Drew Carey]

Kebabs make me fart like a trooper.......Lily doesn't find it funny so we don't have them often. lol

[hovis]

protien shakes

[Frank]

onions

[Gene genie]

my a**e.

[markmoto]

Garlic

[appollo1]

Fruit for me! So much for 5 a day! My guts sure know about it (and anyone else in the vicinity :puker:) when I've had my 5.

[Warthog]

Real Ale. The day after 5 pints of real ale and it smells like the product of Satan's own satanic herd.

[Razor]

Beans, beans the musical fruit.
The more you eat.
The more you toot.

[Rhiwbina_Squirrel]

...The more you toot
The better you feel,
So eat heinz beans with every meal

Alex

[Bluepete]

Good for your stomach
Good for your heart
the more you eat
the more you fart!

[Dicky Ticker]

Give people diabetic peppermints if you want a musical chorus,they taste the same but don't leave them about with laxative chocolate unless you want complete chaos

[xXBADGERXx]

The worst stink I have ever produced (and I rarely produce a smelly guff) was after eating a Southern Fried flavour Pot Noodle . Now I NEVER eat these things but decided to try it . I quietly dropped a "pebble" in the foyer at work and sauntered off , mere seconds later there were women and children scrambling for lifeboats and men leapfrogging over them to get out .

BUT ..... the most rockingest Fart ever was the famous "Xmas Fart of `89" . I was in 6th form at the time doing my A levels . We were on the last day of school before we broke up for the Xmas break . Two days previously I had been seriously overdoing it with Hovis Country Grain bread , toasted to perfection with a thick smear of Marmite on top . I was caning it so badly that I was doing a loaf a day (serious Marmite habit) .

Anyhoooo , I was sat in Biology and it felt like somebody was stirring my intestines with a broken beer bottle , my mate Sion was asking me if I was allright as I was doubled up on my chair . I leaned forward and felt this searing pain and thought I was having a baby ........ then the "ubble" started in my intestines and I let out this silent and Looooooong fart , I swear I dropped 2 inches off my waist size . Sion turned around to talk to me and was actually sick in his mouth , good job we had those sinks built into the worktops of most Biology labs . We were sat at the back of the class and you could see wave after wave of people turning around and giving the row behind an accusing look .

There were waves of people going "errrrrrr that`s minging" , by now the teacher has even smelt it and she`s scribbling away on the board when her chalk snaps and she spins around and asks if any of the bunsen burner taps are open ........ I`m at the back sliding off the chair wetting my pants and laughing like Muttley . Strange thing is , after 2 weeks holiday , the first lesson was Biology , and we are convinced we could still smell it lingering .................. Happy Days :D

[Biker_Billy]

Pretty much anything - but you already knew that Vix!

But for a stonker - it has got to be a roast dinner, parsnips & cabbage...yeah baby!

[sv-robo]

My ringpiece:)

[dirtydog]

Carrot cake does it for me, even worse wa when i had some wholemeal carrot cake

[ArtyLady]

LMAO at BADGER :lol:

I dont need anything in particular...it just happens...alot :oops: :lol:

[Razor]

The other night, after peri-peri chicken and coleslaw, I was lying on the couch watching the goggle box. My mate thinks it's ok to use my hip as a pillow and rest herself on top of me. I let go a rip roaring fart from the depths of my insides that rattled her right boob that was pushed up against my bum. Better than any game of dutch ovens!

[sv-robo]

I dont need anything in particular...it just happens...alot :oops: :lol:

So in that case,hows about changing your name to Fartylady?:smt045:)

[Dicky Ticker]

;)Two feet:):):):):)

[ArtyLady]

So in that case,hows about changing your name to Fartylady?:smt045:)

Youre too late - it's already been said many times ;) :lol:

[ArtyLady]

;)Two feet:):):):):)

I dont geddit! :confused: - DT - Youre so cryptic sometimes! :rolleyes::)

[sv-robo]

Youre too late - it's already been said many times ;) :lol:
#-o

[dissuade]

The worst stink I have ever produced (and I rarely produce a smelly guff) was after eating a Southern Fried flavour Pot Noodle . Now I NEVER eat these things but decided to try it . I quietly dropped a "pebble" in the foyer at work and sauntered off , mere seconds later there were women and children scrambling for lifeboats and men leapfrogging over them to get out .

BUT ..... the most rockingest Fart ever was the famous "Xmas Fart of `89" . I was in 6th form at the time doing my A levels . We were on the last day of school before we broke up for the Xmas break . Two days previously I had been seriously overdoing it with Hovis Country Grain bread , toasted to perfection with a thick smear of Marmite on top . I was caning it so badly that I was doing a loaf a day (serious Marmite habit) .

Anyhoooo , I was sat in Biology and it felt like somebody was stirring my intestines with a broken beer bottle , my mate Sion was asking me if I was allright as I was doubled up on my chair . I leaned forward and felt this searing pain and thought I was having a baby ........ then the "ubble" started in my intestines and I let out this silent and Looooooong fart , I swear I dropped 2 inches off my waist size . Sion turned around to talk to me and was actually sick in his mouth , good job we had those sinks built into the worktops of most Biology labs . We were sat at the back of the class and you could see wave after wave of people turning around and giving the row behind an accusing look .

There were waves of people going "errrrrrr that`s minging" , by now the teacher has even smelt it and she`s scribbling away on the board when her chalk snaps and she spins around and asks if any of the bunsen burner taps are open ........ I`m at the back sliding off the chair wetting my pants and laughing like Muttley . Strange thing is , after 2 weeks holiday , the first lesson was Biology , and we are convinced we could still smell it lingering .................. Happy Days :D

That made me laugh so hard I may have peed a little.

[Sid Squid]

onions

+1

[xXBADGERXx]

That made me laugh so hard I may have peed a little.

Aaah , my work is done here :takeabow:

[markmoto]

Aaah , my work is done here :takeabow:

Lol funny guy :cool:

[Blue_SV650S]

My party trick used to be to light my pharts ... :smt080

Apart from being a amusing, it actually gets rid of the smell, so you could actually say you were doing it for the sake of mankind!! :D

Oh and word of warning ... never and I mean NEVER try and do one nekkid :shock:

[chakraist]

Funny you should be called badger, in our household (students mind) we play the badgers game, whereby if you fart you have to say badgers- if you don't and someone calls door handle, they are allowed to beat you until you reach a door handle. Tasty.

[xXBADGERXx]

Sounds like a swell game , get up early one day and unscrew all the door handles :D

[hovis]

BUT ..... the most rockingest Fart ever was the famous "Xmas Fart of `89" . I was in 6th form at the time doing my A levels . We were on the last day of school before we broke up for the Xmas break . Two days previously I had been seriously overdoing it with Hovis .....Happy Days :D


happy days indeed:takeabow:

[hovis]

Pretty much anything - but you already knew that Vix!

...yeah baby!

its true

[kwak zzr]

green cabbage:rolleyes:

[Stig]

No sleep.

[laptraffic]

Bananas...silent but deadly firepower

[krhall]

Nexcastle Brown - just ask Mrs.KRHALL

[thedonal]

Aah- Newky Brown- I used to be awful after a few bottle of that and a pack of Sainsburys Onion Rings- work colleagues would dread those days.

These days- just about anything I eat. Esp. starchy veg- taters and baked beanz. I do like my chillis these days, which doesn't help, mind...