View Full Version : my god im crap
Wayluya
21-05-08, 04:33 PM
He's doing the Deed as we speak (I think).
missyburd
21-05-08, 04:54 PM
Exciting stuff, I await the news with bated breath!
just out of interest,how much fish and chips have you bought over the past week?
She must think you're a right binger by now. :D
Speedy Claire
21-05-08, 05:14 PM
God this is nerve wracking!!! Do i go to gym or give it a miss in order to find out how he got on?
NAH i`m just being a lazy cow and looking for an excuse not to go :(
DoubleD
21-05-08, 07:17 PM
doesn't take this long to get chips battered sausage and a phone number... does it?
Blue_SV650S
21-05-08, 07:21 PM
doesn't take this long to get chips battered sausage and a phone number... does it?
In that case, he's gotta be 'doinking' her as we speak, surely!?!? 8)
Well he was talking to drew on msn earlier about going but hadn't yet (about an hour ago) and now he is shown as busy and not replying... so i think he has gone to ask her now!
UPDATE:
Just talking to wideboy on msn and he has just signed off to go to the chip shop but he was still unsure on what he would do?! :(
We wait to see :smt045
Wayluya
21-05-08, 08:11 PM
Cheers.
I have a feeling this should be a sticky post :D
Tiger 55
21-05-08, 08:24 PM
Oh for God's sake! I'm on the edge of my seat here.
Way better than the football...
Mrs Blue Pete
21-05-08, 08:36 PM
Can't someone text him or msn him or go round to his house and ask him what's going on??
We need to know!
Sorry...
Speedy Claire
21-05-08, 08:37 PM
Whats the chippy`s number.... i`ll ring them lol
_Stretchie_
21-05-08, 08:37 PM
Cheers.
I have a feeling this should be a sticky post :D
With all this effort I bloody hope something ends up sticky!!!
He is still off line on MSN.... I'll text gid and ask for his number!!!!
Maybe she rang the police because she thought he was a stalker and he's currently sitting in a cell somewhere.
Maybe she said 'Yes' and the shock caused him to faint, fall through the window of the chippy, sever his dangly bits and now he doesn't need her to say 'Yes'!
missyburd
21-05-08, 09:21 PM
Maybe his mate got there first and so Wideboy punched his lights out and now they're both sat in hospital feeling sorry for themselves :rolleyes:
Maybe she said 'Yes' and the shock caused him to faint, fall through the window of the chippy, sever his dangly bits and now he doesn't need her to say 'Yes'!
thats just mean :p
I'm thinking he is waiting for her to finish work and then they are going for a drink!!!!
Wideboy
21-05-08, 09:52 PM
well im pretty narked off now, this is how it went
pulled up, again she's not there, WTF i though, she was here last week at this time!, so basically i thought nuts to it im hungry so i went in a bought chips anyway, so im outside munching on chip next to the bike as i got no where to put them and i thought she might be out back or something, i got there late as they started closing up, so i hung round as i hadn't finished me chips, nope she wasn't there, F*** sake
rode of disheartened, pretty F'ing annoyed at myself right now :smt092
Drew Carey
21-05-08, 09:55 PM
Matey......sooooo gutted for ya. But wait till next time. Maybe she left early cause they weren't busy?
_Stretchie_
21-05-08, 10:01 PM
This is how it went
pulled up, again she's not there, WTF i though, so im outside next to the bike and i thought she might be out back or something, so i hung round nope she wasn't there, F*** sake
:smt092
You're heading for a restraining order my son
:smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036
Drew Carey
21-05-08, 10:02 PM
Cooooooooooooooollll.....first .org restraining order!!! lol
Tiger 55
22-05-08, 06:31 AM
i thought she might be out back or something
Can't fault you for optimism mate. I would've thought she's not working there anymore...
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 06:41 AM
Go in and ask about her? ask has she left or was she helping out etc. Just casually say "what happened to the nice girl that was in here last Wednesday night" or something along those lines. At this rate you could be in and out that chippy every night!!!
pencil shavings
22-05-08, 12:39 PM
unlucky mate. But I think the time has come to either improve your stalking skills or ask after her :)
missyburd
22-05-08, 12:54 PM
rode of disheartened, pretty F'ing annoyed at myself right now :smt092
why you annoyed at yourself??? Tis hardly your fault she wasn't about!!! Maybe she only does a couple of days a week there, or just when they need her. I'd enquire casually next time you're in there. Tis Sod's Law I'm afraid! Don't let the buggers win though, whatever you do don't give up! I'm sure she's worth it :)
dizzyblonde
22-05-08, 01:27 PM
Go in and ask about her? ask has she left or was she helping out etc. Just casually say "what happened to the nice girl that was in here last Wednesday night" or something along those lines. At this rate you could be in and out that chippy every night!!!
seems MR Widepants, is going to be putting on a little weight eating all those chips:D.....somehow I think the little lady may be on holiday:|
Wayluya
22-05-08, 02:06 PM
You're heading for a restraining order my son
:smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036 :smt036
To be blunt, after 23 pages and 220 odd posts I would consider a Restraining Order as being a hopeful sign of at least some progess in this story.........:smt077
Kate Moss
22-05-08, 03:49 PM
Why dont you get a job in the chippy?!
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 04:24 PM
You could pose as a fireman and enter the premises under the disguise of doing a safety check on their premises. After a suitable period of time whip the uniform off to reveal some sort of sexy underwear, jump on the counter, smear your chest in whatever oil they`re using to fry their chips (make sure its cool) press play on your hidden tape recorder and do a sexy dance as in manner of Full Monty
She`ll be well impressed :D
Blue_SV650S
22-05-08, 05:17 PM
You could pose as a fireman and enter the premises under the disguise of doing a safety check on their premises. After a suitable period of time whip the uniform off to reveal some sort of sexy underwear, jump on the counter, smear your chest in whatever oil they`re using to fry their chips (make sure its cool) press play on your hidden tape recorder and do a sexy dance as in manner of Full Monty
She`ll be well impressed :D
Been drinking again speedy?!!? :D
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 06:02 PM
Yep.... unfortunately only coffee tho :(
Blue_SV650S
22-05-08, 06:05 PM
Yep.... unfortunately only coffee tho :(
Ah, so not drinking enough was the cause of that outburst!! :D
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 06:18 PM
I thought it was an excellent suggestion lol....... one that she`d never forget and something they could tell their grandkids about :D
Blue_SV650S
22-05-08, 06:28 PM
I thought it was an excellent suggestion lol....... one that she`d never forget and something they could tell their grandkids about :D
You are right, it might work ... but I have to say I see that as a 'high risk' strategy!! :D
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 06:38 PM
ok... file it away and bring it out for the "all else has failed" tactic lol
Blue_SV650S
22-05-08, 07:35 PM
ok... file it away and bring it out for the "all else has failed" tactic lol
So, you reckon after he has gone in there and done this 'normally', if it doesn't quite work, he go back and do a Full Monty in the hope that will seal the deal!?!? :D
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 08:01 PM
yep....... she`ll then know his intentions are serious and might be impressed at his nerve. Remember Cold Feet the television series? (Luv it :D ) it worked with the rose in the cheeks of his bum tactic!
NB: Unless of course the reason for her refusal is cos she`s married or already in a relationship in which case I wouldn`t agree with him purusing the matter
Blue_SV650S
22-05-08, 09:30 PM
yep....... she`ll then know his intentions are serious and might be impressed at his nerve. Remember Cold Feet the television series? (Luv it :D ) it worked with the rose in the cheeks of his bum tactic!
NB: Unless of course the reason for her refusal is cos she`s married or already in a relationship in which case I wouldn`t agree with him purusing the matter
For sure this is going to either end in a restraining order or a night in jail for indecent exposure!! :D
Speedy Claire
22-05-08, 09:51 PM
Or a night at the local A and E if he doesn`t heed my warning bout making sure the oil is cold!
Blue_SV650S
22-05-08, 10:10 PM
Or a night at the local A and E if he doesn`t heed my warning bout making sure the oil is cold!
If he covers himself in lard first/at home, it'll give him a protective layer 8)
DoubleD
24-05-08, 08:14 AM
so...... how has is gone, have you got a date yet??
widepants ....scaredypants
pencil shavings
24-05-08, 11:46 AM
widepants ....scaredypants
I think he will have to change his name if he dosent get to ask her out!! only fair!! ;)
Wideboy
24-05-08, 12:19 PM
i have been out teh country, we will see when it happens, im not giving up
i have been out teh country, we will see when it happens, im not giving up
excuses excuses.#!!!:smt088
Speedy Claire
24-05-08, 03:55 PM
i have been out teh country, we will see when it happens, im not giving up
Provisional application to the foreign legion??? :D
yes mr wideboy...where are we this?
You found out she was a man didn't you?
Wideboy
01-06-08, 11:42 AM
nope i r been busy, not had chance to
chris8886
01-06-08, 03:01 PM
you've been aavoiding the issue haven't you.....................?! lol
John 675
01-06-08, 05:39 PM
you wimped it dude.. lol ;)
Wideboy
01-06-08, 05:51 PM
no no no it will happen :elephant:
no no no it will happen :elephant:
:^o:^o:^o:^o:^o
Yeah but by that time she'll be married, have kids etc.
How will it end??
This reminds me of the Truman Show. The poor girl has no idea that the world is watching her!
Lou
missyburd
02-06-08, 12:01 PM
How will it end??
This reminds me of the Truman Show. The poor girl has no idea that the world is watching her!
Lou
That film was seriously confusing! Got what was going on eventually but had to think real hard :lol:
it tells you what's going on in the beginning!
And truman was a man, the only one who didn't know.
missyburd
02-06-08, 12:13 PM
Ok well I don't remember it that well but I just remember being confoooodled, thought it was a good film in the end though, should probably watch it again :rolleyes:
Sorry, I meant she, as in the girl in the chip shop!
So.............any developments??
Wideboy
04-06-08, 09:17 PM
went in there tonight on my way back from Alton bike meet and was totally blanked :confused:
pencil shavings
04-06-08, 09:24 PM
went in there tonight on my way back from Alton bike meet and was totally blanked :confused:
did you talk to her?
Wideboy
04-06-08, 09:27 PM
did you talk to her?
nope she didn't say hello or anything :confused:
on the way back from Alton? I'm in basingstoke so quite near Alton.
Its not Oliver's restaurant is it?
Wideboy
04-06-08, 09:44 PM
on the way back from Alton? I'm in basingstoke so quite near Alton.
Its not Oliver's restaurant is it?
no its at teh train station, station cafe, next to the small ducatti dealer they started it i think but its pretty big now
markmoto
04-06-08, 09:44 PM
nope she didn't say hello or anything :confused:
Might be playing hard to get ;) or maybe she has been on her and got spooked :D
no its at teh train station, station cafe, next to the small ducatti dealer they started it i think but its pretty big now
Snells Ducati?
We'll be there on Saturday:D
Wideboy
04-06-08, 10:02 PM
Snells Ducati?
We'll be there on Saturday:D
yep that's the one, the cafe is bike friendly and virtually next door
dizzyblonde
04-06-08, 10:17 PM
oh dear MR Wide, your gonna get a shove from Lissa now.....:-)
Tiger 55
05-06-08, 12:57 PM
she didn't say hello or anything
Did you say hello or anything to her?
How do you know she isn't saying to her mates 'that guy came in again but he didn't say hello or anything'...
For Org's sake talk to her!
yep that's the one, the cafe is bike friendly and virtually next door
We'll check it out, but we're going down tomorrow now:D
oh dear MR Wide, your gonna get a shove from Lissa now.....:-)
Only if he's dumb enough to show up tomorrow while we're there:p
chris8886
05-06-08, 04:58 PM
maybe she was just having a miserable day or something? you should've cheered her up by saying hello!!
JessicaRabbit
05-06-08, 04:59 PM
If you're shy, then when you hand over the cash for your impending heart-attack-in-newspaper, attach a post-it note with 'I'd love to meet you somewhere other than a chip-shop where we could chat over a drink' and write your number and name on it.... Cheesey, but us girls LOVE that kinda mush. No, really, we do. We might say we don't, but we do.
Blue_SV650S
05-06-08, 05:35 PM
If you're shy, then when you hand over the cash for your impending heart-attack-in-newspaper, attach a post-it note with 'I'd love to meet you somewhere other than a chip-shop where we could chat over a drink' and write your number and name on it.... Cheesey, but us girls LOVE that kinda mush. No, really, we do. We might say we don't, but we do.
I'm intrigued, are you willing to share the story of how you and the Grinch first met?!?! 8)
JessicaRabbit
05-06-08, 05:58 PM
I'm intrigued, are you willing to share the story of how you and the Grinch first met?!?! 8)
Lol... It wasn't in a chip shop, Grinch was skinny when we met!!
I was sat at viewpoint on Portsdown Hill. He arrived up on his SV650s (Anastasia) My mate Vic and I rated his **** at 8/10. He looked lonely. And short. I was trying to find a bike I could touch the floor on, so I asked if I could sit on the SV. He said 'yup'. We got chatting. I asked him if he wanted a cuppa, he then looked flustered as he'd left his wallet indoors. I said, 'I didn't ASK you to buy me a drink, you deaf git, I OFFERED!!' He looked scared and muttered, 'tea, none'. We've been inseperable ever since, coz he's too scared to leave...
...reads like a mills & boon. NOT. :D
p.s. the starred-out comment was the four-lettered version of bum...
Blue_SV650S
05-06-08, 06:09 PM
Lol... It wasn't in a chip shop, Grinch was skinny when we met!!
I was sat at viewpoint on Portsdown Hill. He arrived up on his SV650s (Anastasia) My mate Vic and I rated his **** at 8/10. He looked lonely. And short. I was trying to find a bike I could touch the floor on, so I asked if I could sit on the SV. He said 'yup'. We got chatting. I asked him if he wanted a cuppa, he then looked flustered as he'd left his wallet indoors. I said, 'I didn't ASK you to buy me a drink, you deaf git, I OFFERED!!' He looked scared and muttered, 'tea, none'. We've been inseperable ever since, coz he's too scared to leave...
...reads like a mills & boon. NOT. :D
p.s. the starred-out comment was the four-lettered version of bum...
LoL, cool, and what were you doing on Portsdown hill young lady?? We all know what happens on the top of Portsdown hill!! ;)
So ... as not ot de-rail any further (like I said, I was curious ;)) ... it seems from JR&Grinch's story, you should wait for chip-shop girl to approach you Wideboy!! 8)
no its at teh train station, station cafe, next to the small ducatti dealer they started it i think but its pretty big now
I know where the bike meet is you muppet! :D I've been there a few times.
i meant where is the chip shop. :p
JessicaRabbit
05-06-08, 08:06 PM
LoL, cool, and what were you doing on Portsdown hill young lady?? We all know what happens on the top of Portsdown hill!! ;)
Nah, the dogging site's by the back of the fort, not at the viewpoint.... ahem, cough cough... so I've been told! ;):D
Blue_SV650S
05-06-08, 10:48 PM
Nah, the dogging site's by the back of the fort, not at the viewpoint.... ahem, cough cough... so I've been told! ;):D
I see, 'back of the fort' is one of your more regular jaunts then!! .. thought as much ... and there was Grinch poo-pooing my old talk of dogging ... he (and presumably you) was/were a regular all along ... tut tut!!!! :lol:
JessicaRabbit
06-06-08, 05:43 PM
I see, 'back of the fort' is one of your more regular jaunts then!! .. thought as much ... and there was Grinch poo-pooing my old talk of dogging ... he (and presumably you) was/were a regular all along ... tut tut!!!! :lol:
How very dare you!!! Lol... The only reason we knew it was there, is coz we saw the camera crew from some dodgy documentary about dogging, filming stuff up the hill. They came over to the viewpoint side and asked all the BIKERS where the dogging site was!!! Obviously, if you're a biker, you MUST be into dogging!!! :D
Blue_SV650S
06-06-08, 05:55 PM
How very dare you!!! Lol... The only reason we knew it was there, is coz we saw the camera crew from some dodgy documentary about dogging, filming stuff up the hill. They came over to the viewpoint side and asked all the BIKERS where the dogging site was!!! Obviously, if you're a biker, you MUST be into dogging!!! :D
But don't you have to be in a car to go doging?!!?? :D
ThEGr33k
06-06-08, 11:42 PM
But don't you have to be in a car to go doging?!!?? :D
Well.... Hmmm. It wouldnt be at all private on a bike tbh. :smt044
yorkie_chris
07-06-08, 12:38 AM
Well.... Hmmm. It wouldnt be at all private on a bike tbh. :smt044
If you wanted privacy you wouldn't really be going dogging then would you :-P
Dogging is going to watch people out in cars, doggers are the people who are actually in the cars.
So a bike would be best. Stealth it in there on a nice black bike with no lights and standard can and you're sorted.
John 675
07-06-08, 09:16 AM
id just do it somewhere where no one goes... with my lights on full beam thumbing the horn as i go... that sounds wrong lol,
29 pages and your still no further forward. come on wideboy grow some balls and speak to her. worst thing that could happen is she tells you to bog off and stop stalking her. then the rest of us no lifers could go back to their boring existence. (well worst thing could be she says yes and turns out to be a bunny boiler) but at least you would know
Tiger 55
07-06-08, 10:32 AM
Time for Plan B Wideboy.
Forget it.
You are obviously not man enough to ask a girl out so you'll have to wait until you meet one through friends/work/whatever and she asks you out. Now don't hold your breath for that by the way but meantime you can stop torturing yourself with something you're not capable of.
That's life mate, no shame in it.
Blue_SV650S
07-06-08, 11:04 AM
Time for Plan B Wideboy.
Forget it.
You are obviously not man enough to ask a girl out so you'll have to wait until you meet one through friends/work/whatever and she asks you out. Now don't hold your breath for that by the way but meantime you can stop torturing yourself with something you're not capable of.
That's life mate, no shame in it.
now that is overly harsh! [-(
Or is this some vein attempt at reverse psychology?! ;) .. even still ... a bit harsh!! [-X
John 675
07-06-08, 11:18 AM
maybe that approach will work.. but id go with "slightly harsh - possibly true" on that one.. seriously just do it dude.. surely your cheesed off enough with not doing it that you can just go in and do it to get it over with???
went in there tonight on my way back from Alton bike meet and was totally blanked :confused:
Oh, good lord!!!!!!!!!!
Wideboy
07-06-08, 03:12 PM
i done it.... well sort of, but she's taken
Edit: didn't do it just then, didn't want to post thats all.... oh well
yorkie_chris
07-06-08, 03:14 PM
Ah well, plenty to choose from...
John 675
07-06-08, 03:24 PM
the moral is that you did it! and thats what this was all about.. whether you got her number or not you still tried and took that chance.. i salute you sir.. if you read through this whole thread all over again minus the really silly bits.. you will see that you have actually improved your confidance..from post #1 - #293 you have broken your own mental barrier now go find someone else :D
Wideboy
07-06-08, 04:17 PM
i don't feel bad about it or anything, I'm surprised i actually had the balls to do it.
it has cleared a few things up too ;)
no that does not mean i've decided to go ghey :rolleyes:
Blue_SV650S
07-06-08, 04:53 PM
i done it.... well sort of, but she's taken
Edit: didn't do it just then, didn't want to post thats all.... oh well
bummer ... she'z prolly a carp* lay anyhow!! :D
*fishy swearing pun fully intended!! :lol:
Wayluya
07-06-08, 05:43 PM
i don't feel bad about it or anything, I'm surprised i actually had the balls to do it.
it has cleared a few things up too ;)
no that does not mean i've decided to go ghey :rolleyes:
Thank fook for that :rolleyes:
Appreciate these things not always easy, especially when they build up with the weight of expectation.....but everything in life is a learning experiance :cool:..........
and be interesting to see if next time yer start a thread :p
So how much did you spend on fish and chips in the end?
Tiger 55
08-06-08, 08:35 AM
i done it.... well sort of, but she's taken
Sorry to hear that mate :(
Ignore my previous post, it was a rubbish attempt at psychology.
Now then, have you seen the barmaid in The Swan in Woolston? She's gorgeous, get in there!
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