View Full Version : Teenage problems
My lad is 18 ,and is causing me real concerns.He has got it into his head that he is ugly and that no one will ever want to be with him.No matter how much I talk to him ,he still does not have any confidence in his own looks.I ve tried to tell him that he is very "handsome" ,not to worry etc ,but nothing seems to work.This is effecting his confidence and starting to bring him down.He comes out with things like "i really like her ,but why would she want to go with someone like me?""Girls stare at me all the time because Im so ugly" etc.Ive tried to tell him that maybe girls stare at him because he is the exact opposite of ugly ,but that seems to make him worse.He thinks Im fibbing to him to make him feel better.
Any one else had to deal with this problem or got any advice?
Has he had girlfriends before?Does he lack confidence in general, or is he just self concious about his looks?
I for one lack confidence overall, but i find that talking to girls just as friends helps when there is one i'm actually interested in. Advise him to talk to as many girls as possible, not ones that he likes but just as friends to get used to talking to them, it's good practice.
A way to get over a lack of confidence in looks is to buy some new clothes. I find that when i go out clothes shopping, i feel more comfortable wearing different stuff that makes me feel better.
Wideboy
11-02-09, 10:55 PM
pfft birds look at me all the time, but mostly point as i am a ugly barsteward who can give shrek a run for his money :D
pfft birds look at me all the time, but mostly point as i am a ugly barsteward who can give shrek a run for his money :D
very helpfull.Hope he does not read your post.
Probily not a permanant suggestion, but alcohol increases confidence.
Am quite shy/unconfident with people i dont know, so getting ratted helps me talk to new people..
And most likely, make a ar$e of myself too :)
Probily not a permanant suggestion, but alcohol increases confidence.
Am quite shy/unconfident with people i dont know, so getting ratted helps me talk to new people..
And most likely, make a ar$e of myself too :)
Says the forums obvious alcoholic :mrgreen:
Na seriously though, i went on this college trip, got drunk and i managed to meet this really nice girl and actually have the confidence to approach her. I managed to not make myself look like an idiot as well.
Dutch courage ftw.
A way this can actually help your original post, advise him to go to a few parties, that way he can meet girls in a much more relaxed environment. It's much easier to talk to girls that way.
Mr Speirs
11-02-09, 11:10 PM
Im inclined to say that it is something that he is going to have to work out himself. I think no matter what you yourself do is actually going to help him.
Its something he could get over by having a good social life with the right people who don't put pressure on him to get with a girl but support him.
I guess the more he focuses on it the bigger the problem is going to be. The sooner he stops caring how other people may judge him, the more his confidence will rise. Its probably just something he is going to grow up through and emerge from a better man.
SVDragRacer
11-02-09, 11:12 PM
Tell him to do what ever he wants to do to look what he believes is good, altho he may want a girl the first thing he needs to do is be happy with himself, once that has been sorted the women will follow. When it comes to the women, dont let him go chasing after women, let him flirt talk whatever but let come to him ultimately as that will give him a massive confidence boost.
Also, remind him at 18 he is now a man with a lot of life ahead of him, a bit of perspective never hurts to realise, belive me, i'm almost 19 and i know that these things can help.
DarrenSV650S
11-02-09, 11:16 PM
Does he have friends?
Independent "rating site":
http://www.hotornot.com/
Although that's only if it is a straight forward answer, if the question is more complicated then a better solution is required.
Mhm, not sure what kinda stuff hes into, but going out, having a few drinks with friends at the pub or something can improve his social life..
His lack of confidence, could be connected to his social life?
Does he go out with friends alot, have various interests, have female friends?
I am very comfortable within the groups of people i know, new people still scare me..
I didnt mean to suggest, get him to go out and get ratted, and all his problems will be solved, as that isnt the case..
If he was really unattractive then I could see where he was coming from ,but hes not.He is coming down to stay in a few weeks so Im trying to get ideas in my head about the best way to approach the subject again.I can just see him going in a down wards spiral if I dont try to help.Maybe I cant help and only time will.But Got to try.
will find a pic if poss
Says the forums obvious alcoholic :mrgreen:
Thanks, give me a break, i have my excuses.. :P
If he was really unattractive then I could see where he was coming from ,but hes not.He is coming down to stay in a few weeks so Im trying to get ideas in my head about the best way to approach the subject again.I can just see him going in a down wards spiral if I dont try to help.Maybe I cant help and only time will.But Got to try.
will find a pic if poss
send him out with widepants.......... hes bound to pull;)
send him out with widepants.......... hes bound to pull;)
thats cheered me up.Find an ugly mate so you always look good:-D
seriously though Hovis.I think it may go deeper than that
thats cheered me up.Find an ugly mate so you always look good:-D
indeed
metalmonkey
11-02-09, 11:32 PM
Its a hard one, when someone is down no matter what you say there seems nothing that can be said to make them feel better.
May be just let him talk, having someone to listen to you is the most important thing. My confidence isn't great sometimes, you know some days I just feel bad, others I don't. I'm going thriough a rough patch right now, work related.
Is there something else going on in his life? It could be anything but you will be surpised that what you may thing is small thing has a massive effect on someone else. So what has happened at work, has effected everything in life, dam near runied it over the past 6 months.
If he won't say what the problem is, could you not ask someone else to get full understanding? Also if things are bad or your worried why not try councilling? It can help to talk with a person who is totally indpeandant.
But the best thing may be just to network, you can only get better at things not worse. But if there are underlying issuess this should be dealth with and not just left to get worse.
Hope that makes sesne, good luck with it all.
madness
11-02-09, 11:33 PM
I'm not a teenager anymore (unfortunately!) but I'm sure we've all had periods of self doubt and low confidence at some point.
A couple of years ago I split from 14 year relationship and that totally destroyed my self confidence. I had a very low opinion of myself and was on a seriously downward spiral. Luckily I had the support of friends who sorted me out with a life coach. I was sceptical about how they could help but I acknowledged that I needed help so went along and saw her. One of the first thing she got me to do was make a list of all my good points. I was suprised of how many there were! This list was kept in a prominent place for me to see a few times a day. It did help. She made me realise that unless you feel good about yourself, you're not best placed for a successful relationship. After a month or so I was feeling much more confident and had a go at internet dating. Wow! I never had to approech any women, they all contacted me! Since then I believe that when you have self confidence you have a certain 'aura' that others find attractive. If your son start feeling good about himself I'm sure girls will notice him more. He just needs a little help to get him past a bad patch.
My lad is 18 ,and is causing me real concerns.He has got it into his head that he is ugly and that no one will ever want to be with him.<snip>
Any one else had to deal with this problem or got any advice?
Hookers... and cocaine, lots of cocaine.
I've never had to try either, but they'll take his mind off it for a while
I thought i was being destructive, suggesting he takes up drinking..
Then we get the hookers and cocaine..
jimmy__riddle
11-02-09, 11:47 PM
has he got many hobbies? playing sports its always a good confidence builder
missyburd
12-02-09, 01:46 AM
I think it may go deeper than that
Its a hard one.
Hookers... and cocaine, lots of cocaine.
Interesting theories from the .org advice centre there :p
Anyway.
What is your lad's friend network like, does it include lasses? Might be an idea to chat to any female friends he has and see what they think, mind you if the confidence is majorly lacking then even that might not be easy. Does he partake in any sports? Or general leisure activities? that may encourage him to "mingle" more?
Admittedly sometimes you can't change a person, some people I know who seem to be shy just don't even try to socialise (only speak when spoken to, don't expand on conversations etc) which is usually where the problem lies. Mingling with people doesn't come naturally, more so with experience, I guess people have to start somewhere...
Getting a parent's point of view doesn't always help matters, I know if my ma tells me owt it's just her biased point of view so I tend to disregard it. He needs to chat to people he knows of his own age group who he's close to who can maybe point him in the right direction? Not that I'm saying the advice you give as a parent shouldn't be taken into account - not at all - just that opinions from your folks are always taken differently "of course you would say that, you're supposed to" type thing.
wyrdness
12-02-09, 07:29 AM
Perhaps you should point out to him that there are lots of pretty girls his age who also think that they are ugly. It's a common teenage thing. Tell him to go look for one, because they'd both be happy, thinking that they're an ugly person who's got a hot partner.
Interesting theories from the .org advice centre there :p
Anyway.
What is your lad's friend network like, does it include lasses? Might be an idea to chat to any female friends he has and see what they think, mind you if the confidence is majorly lacking then even that might not be easy. Does he partake in any sports? Or general leisure activities? that may encourage him to "mingle" more?
Admittedly sometimes you can't change a person, some people I know who seem to be shy just don't even try to socialise (only speak when spoken to, don't expand on conversations etc) which is usually where the problem lies. Mingling with people doesn't come naturally, more so with experience, I guess people have to start somewhere...
Getting a parent's point of view doesn't always help matters, I know if my ma tells me owt it's just her biased point of view so I tend to disregard it. He needs to chat to people he knows of his own age group who he's close to who can maybe point him in the right direction? Not that I'm saying the advice you give as a parent shouldn't be taken into account - not at all - just that opinions from your folks are always taken differently "of course you would say that, you're supposed to" type thing.
thanks hun ,you could be right about what you say.Maybe alot of it is just down to his personality,and no amount of talking will help.All I can do is let him know I'm there for him.
The worst part is that he is in NewZealand at the mo ,with his mum,which makes me feel more helpless.He is coming over soon ,so maybe that will help.He takes any type of rejection really badly so that doesnt help.
Put a pic in my profile so you can see where Im coming from.
Oh and Lozzo.....may try your idea.
JamesMio
12-02-09, 08:26 AM
Tell him to get a job in a bar, it's unbeatable for boosting ones ego! Hoards of tipsy women all trying to get your attention, granted most of them are only after drinks. But I can definitely vouch for it being a great help in getting used to being around and getting to know girls.
I haven't read through all the posts, so excuse me if this is a repeat, but what about asking him what he'd like to change about himself? And then help him make those changes... hair, style, if he's concerned about his weight then get into some sport together all that stuff... (I'm sure you've probably thought of this)
timwilky
12-02-09, 09:01 AM
As an old fat fugly bloke, what can I say about looks.
They don't matter. Of course when I was 18 I would go to clubs, and it was amazing how the dogs at 10pm, started to get prettier as it approached chucking out time. Maybe it was beer goggles, maybe it was desperation.
My brother always went for the ugly bird, he had a theory that she would be more desperate than a good looking one. So more likely to get a leg over, whereas the good looking would want wining/dining etc. Also, they were more likely to have had a few blokes, so more chance of catching something.
Well I digress. It doesn't matter what you look like. If a girl is that shallow then she is obviously only of use for one thing. Real beauty is not in looks but in who you are. What you say/do. How you think. etc.
Of course he can help himself, by getting enough exercise to keep the lard off, not drinking to the point that mouth/brain disengage, stay well groomed and learn to be comfortable in the company of girls. Be able to talk to them without them thinking your hitting on them. That way they/you see that inner beauty of who a person really is.
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 09:01 AM
I just say "Send in the Bear".......
Kate Moss
12-02-09, 09:19 AM
Perhaps you just have to weather the storm. As you know I had real issues with the way I looked and no amount of anyone telling me that I was pretty, helped in the slightest. it used to hurt when people said that - I felt like people were lying to my face. It sounds like that is how your son feels. And no offence but teenagers don't really want to listen to their parents do they?
Could he just be going through an irratable teenage phase rather than it being a life long confidence issue?
Don't suppose you know but maybe he has recently tried it on with someone and it went a bit pete tong? That would have knocked his confidence.
Without making it obvious just do things that might help him with his confidence over all. Like others have mentioned a new wardrobe, a hair cut etc. Take him to the pub, man to man!
I think just going out and having a good time always made me feel better, but everyone is different.
Dave20046
12-02-09, 09:21 AM
Probily not a permanant suggestion, but alcohol increases confidence.
Am quite shy/unconfident with people i dont know, so getting ratted helps me talk to new people..
And most likely, make a ar$e of myself too :)
Sounds a lot like me... gid it's probably normal for most teenagers.
Oh and Lozzo.....may try your idea.
Sensible policies for a happier Britain.
On a slightly more serious note this could well be an aspect of normal. Normal in teenagers is very wide ranging. Don't go worrying yourself unneccessarily and looking for problems which may not be there.
Having said that it's always important to keep a discreet eye on them. Things may get out of hand and become an unbearable problem that that take further into themselves. If this is the case there is little you can do other than to make sure they know you are there for them. Nothing you can say about his appearance will make him later how he sees himself. What you can do in just support his developing self-confidence. This is sometimes just done by listening, showing them their views matter to you and they have worthwhile thoughts. They need to valued as a person not as a visual object.
There are no magic words to make a teenager view the world in the way you do. Mostly being a teenager in itself is a problem - but they do grow up!!
Almost definately time will do most of the work for you.
All the best x
Tell him to get a job in a bar, it's unbeatable for boosting ones ego! Hoards of tipsy women all trying to get your attention, granted most of them are only after drinks. But I can definitely vouch for it being a great help in getting used to being around and getting to know girls.
This is very true. I worked behind bars when I was much younger and it does wonders for your self confidence and pulling technique.
Dave20046
12-02-09, 09:24 AM
Tell him to get a job in a bar, it's unbeatable for boosting ones ego! Hoards of tipsy women all trying to get your attention, granted most of them are only after drinks. But I can definitely vouch for it being a great help in getting used to being around and getting to know girls.
Might have to get a night job at a bar... Hoards of tipsy women you say? :twisted:
Dave20046
12-02-09, 09:25 AM
This is very true. I worked behind bars when I was much younger and it does wonders for your self confidence and pulling technique.
We talking pints,women or both?
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 09:32 AM
Might have to get a night job at a bar... Hoards of tipsy women you say? :twisted:
Do you mean Hordes of tipsy women - what you wrote would imply that all the tipsy women were being locked up and saved for a rainy day.
Of course Tips of whorey women might also be what you are looking for :)
Dave20046
12-02-09, 09:38 AM
Do you mean Hordes of tipsy women - what you wrote would imply that all the tipsy women were being locked up and saved for a rainy day.
Of course Tips of whorey women might also be what you are looking for :)
Well what I do is drug the hordes of tipsy women's drinks, then tie them up and add them to my hoard of tipsy women.
I am also very proud of my hoard of tipsy whorey women, my prize collection.
Dappa D
12-02-09, 09:57 AM
bring him out in bristol for a night when he's down? few drinks, dancing, plenty of laughs, lads night out, dont even think about women....and they will come....
We talking pints,women or both?
Can you see what I did there?
:-D
Dave20046
12-02-09, 10:03 AM
Can you see what I did there?
:-D
:D
I wanna work in a baaar... no fair.
As much as I like being the hot IT geek that drives all the women crazy :rolleyes:
Kate Moss
12-02-09, 10:34 AM
bring him out in bristol for a night when he's down? few drinks, dancing, plenty of laughs, lads night out, dont even think about women....and they will come....
can i come?!
Dappa D
12-02-09, 10:39 AM
aarrrrrrrrrr.....so many things i could say there....but i shant.....
yes of course the more the merrier
Warthog
12-02-09, 10:49 AM
Hey Gid,
The simple fact is that if you tell him he is handsome it sadly has zero effect. Its the same with my gf, if she thinks she has a fat bum I tell her she doesn't but it means nothing. They think that just cos you are friends and family that you will say anything to be nice. So there is no point in you trying to convince him with words, the only way he will get more confidence and think better of himself is to actually get out there and pull. Just one snog makes you feel 100 times better. To do that, as someone mentioned, why not take him out to get a bit of a makeover? Buy some new cool clothes and get a new hairstyle or something. Little things like that help a lot in confidence. Then send him out with a few mates to the bars and clubs and he should pull at some point and then get much more confident.
I have had a look at his photo and I totally agree with you, he is not ugly at all, so there isn't a physical issue here, its all mental state of mind.
HTH
Dave20046
12-02-09, 10:52 AM
Hey Gid,
The simple fact is that if you tell him he is handsome it sadly has zero effect. Its the same with my gf, if she thinks she has a fat bum I tell her she doesn't but it means nothing. They think that just cos you are friends and family that you will say anything to be nice. So there is no point in you trying to convince him with words,the only way he will get more confidence and think better of himself is to actually get out there and pull. Just one snog makes you feel 100 times better.
Agreed
To do that, as someone mentioned, why not take him out to get a but of a makeover? Buy some new cool clothes and get a new hairstyle or something. Little things like that help a lot in confidence. Then send him out with a few mates to the bars and clubs and he should pull at some point and then get much more confident.
I have had a look at his photo and I totally agree with you, he is not ugly at all, so there isn't a physical issue here, its all mental state of mind.
HTH
Sorry but if any of my family tried anything like that I'd feel extremely patronised and wouldn't mind telling them harshly where to go. I hate being intefered with (well unless it's by a lovely lass)...then again maybe he's different.
missyburd
12-02-09, 10:57 AM
Having now seen a pic of him I honestly cannot see what all the fuss is about! He's far from ugly and no I'm not just saying that. He shouldn't have a problem at all, so clearly t's not a looks thing, must be just the need for more confidence.
Have you thought that the fact he's in NZ has something to do with it? Perhaps he feels a bit of an outcast being British? I've never been to NZ but I should imagine cultures and such things are a tad different, how long has he had to settle in? I seem to remember a thread of yours a while back about waving him off?
Kate Moss
12-02-09, 10:59 AM
Having now seen a pic of him I honestly cannot see what all the fuss is about! He's far from ugly and no I'm not just saying that. He shouldn't have a problem at all, so clearly t's not a looks thing, must be just the need for more confidence.
Have you thought that the fact he's in NZ has something to do with it? Perhaps he feels a bit of an outcast being British? I've never been to NZ but I should imagine cultures and such things are a tad different, how long has he had to settle in? I seem to remember a thread of yours a while back about waving him off?
wheres the pic?
missyburd
12-02-09, 11:00 AM
wheres the pic? Gids profile.
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 11:01 AM
Just spotted that he's in NZ - where women outnumber men.....
Just needs to get a little confidence and get out there :)
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:03 AM
Having now seen a pic of him I honestly cannot see what all the fuss is about! He's far from ugly and no I'm not just saying that. He shouldn't have a problem at all, so clearly t's not a looks thing, must be just the need for more confidence.
Aye I didn't want to comment as there's already enough suspision about me after the talk of chaps.
But working to my general rule of thumb of 'never fight an ugly bloke as they have nothing to lose'.....sir, I would fight your son.:smt071:takeabow:
Tell him to go look for one, because they'd both be happy, thinking that they're an ugly person who's got a hot partner.
And ugly girls are always more grateful :thumbsup:
So I'm told...... :p
Dappa D
12-02-09, 11:12 AM
Aye I didn't want to comment as there's already enough suspision about me after the talk of chaps.
But working to my general rule of thumb of 'never fight an ugly bloke as they have nothing to lose'.....sir, I would fight your son.:smt071:takeabow:
lol never heard that..i like it!
gid, I wouldnt worry too much about it mate, im sure as his dad you wanna help like but he;s at that sort of age, hes a good enough looking bloke looking at the pic so it does seem like a confidence thing, think most lads/men go through something like he seems to be going through at some point....
while he's got no confidence he wont speak to any women...
speak to no women = no results / leg over etc....
after this stage and confidence is back/got...
he speaks to 100 women...
99 say feck of..hes confident so dont give a t*ss and laughs it off...
1 of them says yea..result....
and the offer was serious if u wanna take him out in bristol id come out
yorkie_chris
12-02-09, 11:14 AM
Sorry but if any of my family tried anything like that I'd feel extremely patronised and wouldn't mind telling them harshly where to go. I hate being intefered with (well unless it's by a lovely lass)...then again maybe he's different.
That would just wind me up too tbh. Another pair of draggin jeans perhaps, but a "makeover"... f##k off.
TBH gid if my parents were trying to convince me of something like that (thinking back to teenage years), then it would probably have just annoyed me.
He will probably sort himself out IMO, you trying to help will make him think that you think he needs helping for a reason and have an opposite effect.
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:16 AM
lol never heard that..i like it!
The chaps or the fighting? :o
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:16 AM
lol never heard that..i like it!
gid, I wouldnt worry too much about it mate, im sure as his dad you wanna help like but he;s at that sort of age, hes a good enough looking bloke looking at the pic so it does seem like a confidence thing, think most lads/men go through something like he seems to be going through at some point....
while he's got no confidence he wont speak to any women...
speak to no women = no results / leg over etc....
after this stage and confidence is back/got...
he speaks to 100 women...
99 say feck of..hes confident so dont give a t*ss and laughs it off...
1 of them says yea..result....
and the offer was serious if u wanna take him out in bristol id come out
dappa you talk sense
Warthog
12-02-09, 11:16 AM
Sorry but if any of my family tried anything like that I'd feel extremely patronised and wouldn't mind telling them harshly where to go. I hate being intefered with (well unless it's by a lovely lass)...then again maybe he's different.
Yeah I would feel annoyed if they were to do it now to me, but when you are a teenager, you are still building your character and look. I remember getting a new shirt and it became my pulling shirt; it gave me confidence. I don't really mean you want mummy and daddy dragging you down to TK Maxx and saying "you look lovely in this" but go shopping with him in as a mate. Or get his mates to do it and give him some clothing money or something. Basically, something artificial has to change to give him the confidence to do the mental change.
yorkie_chris
12-02-09, 11:16 AM
And ugly girls are always more grateful :thumbsup:
So I'm told...... :p
A guy I know who works on a door, he's a big athletic feller who is never short of offers from tasty ladies... but only ever goes for te chubby ones. His reasoning "wellll you never get a decent breakfast from the skinny ones" :smt040
yorkie_chris
12-02-09, 11:17 AM
Basically, something artificial has to change to give him the confidence to do the mental change.
About 6 pints usually did the trick for me.
missyburd
12-02-09, 11:19 AM
About 6 pints usually did the trick for me.
good use of tense there :smt008 :mrgreen:
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:21 AM
That would just wind me up too tbh. Another pair of draggin jeans perhaps, but a "makeover"... f##k off.
TBH gid if my parents were trying to convince me of something like that (thinking back to teenage years), then it would probably have just annoyed me.
He will probably sort himself out IMO, you trying to help will make him think that you think he needs helping for a reason and have an opposite effect.
Yup I don't know your son but if it was me being given a bit of independance and room to do my own thing would help boost the confidence.
Biggest confidence boost I've ever had was when I was on holiday, full independance no ties commitments or fact that I'd see any of them ever again, every night without fail. Got back from holiday and it's been ages!
I think a lot of it'll boil down to your sons personality, you're going have to figure out if it's encouragement or independace that'll inspire the confidence. Dappa D's is a good offer, getting him and a mate up to bristol for a lads night might do him some good.
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 11:21 AM
About 6 pints usually did the trick for me.
And we have an answer - give YC 6 pints then when he's out of it get MYC to snog the lads face off.
:)
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:22 AM
About 6 pints usually did the trick for me.
Agreed infact it worked nicely tuesday night. I love my lager make over :mrgreen:
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:24 AM
Yeah I would feel annoyed if they were to do it now to me, but when you are a teenager, you are still building your character and look. I remember getting a new shirt and it became my pulling shirt; it gave me confidence. I don't really mean you want mummy and daddy dragging you down to TK Maxx and saying "you look lovely in this" but go shopping with him in as a mate. Or get his mates to do it and give him some clothing money or something. Basically, something artificial has to change to give him the confidence to do the mental change.
Yeah maybe giving him some cash to go get some new clothes with might work, or it'll atleast be nice. My dad just bought me a new lid ...whatta guy :smt040...he says I'm not allowed to smash one he's paid for though.
Warthog
12-02-09, 11:29 AM
And we have an answer - give YC 6 pints then when he's out of it get MYC to snog the lads face off.
:)
I did think of that, just one kind lady org samaritan just needs to snog him when he comes over and he will be much more confident! Any volunteers?
missyburd
12-02-09, 11:31 AM
I did think of that, just one kind lady org samaritan just needs to snog him when he comes over and he will be much more confident! Any volunteers?
A business arrangement hmmm tempting :-D LOL #runs as YC chases me with big stick#
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 11:31 AM
I did think of that, just one kind lady org samaritan just needs to snog him when he comes over and he will be much more confident! Any volunteers?
Doesn't even need to go that far. (which would be wrong in my opinion, despite my joke).
Just a bunch of the Org ladies paying him some attention - while making sure he knows they are out of reach (if thats the case anyway) will do.
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:32 AM
A business arrangement hmmm tempting :-D LOL #runs as YC chases me with big stick#
Why does the prospect excite him or sommat?
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 11:32 AM
A business arrangement hmmm tempting :-D LOL #runs as YC chases me with big stick#
I dont recall any Indecent Proposals :)
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:32 AM
Just a bunch of the Org ladies paying him some attention.
But they've all got webbed feet.
missyburd
12-02-09, 11:36 AM
But they've all got webbed feet.
#MYC nicks stick off YC and chases Davenumbers with it# :smt019
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 11:37 AM
But they've all got webbed feet.
Oh dear......
Goodbye Dave, its been nice knowing you..................
*Waits for K, Ping, Dizzyblonde, CoolGirl, Anna, Miss Yorkie Chris, Kate Moss, KrazyKim, Miss Alpinestarhero, Shellywoozle, JessicaRabbit, Speedyclare and co to get here, popcorn at the ready*
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:40 AM
haha just wanted to shake things up :mrgreen:
Dave20046
12-02-09, 11:41 AM
#MYC nicks stick off YC and chases Davenumbers with it# :smt019
lol onnly joking :D
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 11:42 AM
lol onnly joking :D
Still, I'd keep running :)
fizzwheel
12-02-09, 11:54 AM
Any one else had to deal with this problem or got any advice?
Yep, I remember feeling the same and thinking the same kind of things when I was at that age, I had a spell of feeling like it a few years ago when I split up with the girl I was seeing at the time.
18 yr old, full of hormones, you think some weird things, TBH I woudlnt worry about it to much, he'll probably grow out of it. Or he'll meet somebody and get over his confidence issues that way, ( that worked for me )
Just leave him be unless he brings the subject up, my parents had a spell of keeping on at me because I didnt have a girlriend and TBH it really f*cked me off and made me feel worse.
All it'll take is for him to meet a few girls and start talking to them his confidence will rocket and he'll be away, best thing he can do is to relax and just be himself and stop thinking about things to much.
I used to think about things to much, I'd over analyse and worry about what she thought or what she'd said. One of the best things I did was ask a girl out and she said no, but she was really nice about it, and made me conquer my fear of rejection.
You change so much and so quickly when you're that age, he's just working out who he is, if you want to do something just go and do some dad stuff with him. Just be normal.
I bet he'll work all this out for himself though. I did, just took me a while
But they've all got webbed feet.
It's not just their feet, mate.
can i come?!
I dunno, tell us what turns you on and we'll see what we can do ;)
Dave20046
12-02-09, 12:05 PM
It's not just their feet, mate.
ahhhh :puker:
Thanks for getting me off the hook though lozzo :kiss:
missyburd
12-02-09, 12:12 PM
It's not just their feet, mate.
#introduces new, larger and more powerful stick with Lozzo's name on it...# (No comments if you please :p)
#introduces new, larger and more powerful stick with Lozzo's name on it...# (Not comments if you please :p)
See - man stopped dragging woman around by her hair and all of a sudden she thinks she's clever enough to wield a stick as a weapon.
Put a pic in my profile so you can see where Im coming from.
F*ck :cry: if that's what gurls call ugly, I've got no hope :smt090
Which means the problem is probably something else.
jimmy__riddle
12-02-09, 01:00 PM
DAS, 1098, if that doesnt work for an 18 yr old, i dont know what will
yorkie_chris
12-02-09, 01:06 PM
You can't do DAS at 18 [/pi$$ on bonfire mode]
SoulKiss
12-02-09, 01:09 PM
F*ck :cry: if that's what gurls call ugly, I've got no hope :smt090
Which means the problem is probably something else.
And I doubt you will have any luck with the boys either...................
Mine you that He/She @ Soho the other week was looking interested..... :p
jimmy__riddle
12-02-09, 01:17 PM
oh yeah, forgot about the 18 thing
Thingus
12-02-09, 01:36 PM
O.O
That is my best smiley for this kind of occasion... what's he bloody worried about? If i looked like that for a day i'd have a room full of 25 year old gals with their panties on the floor :smt019
Right now i'll stick with a few elephants.
Seriously though he's just thinking too much, that's how anorexia starts (not saying he's gonna be anorexic :p)... if he's got the confidence to ask you about it he's got the confidence to ask them out on a date. What's the worst that can happen?
See - man stopped dragging woman around by her hair and all of a sudden she thinks she's clever enough to wield a stick as a weapon.
LMAO....back in ya back lozzo my son :p well funny
maybe he should join the navy?
But they've all got webbed feet.
It's not just their feet, mate.
You two really arent that clever are you :rolleyes:
Gid... stop being daft. You are blowing this out of proportion by being a parent. He is a teenager its what they do.;)
Looking the way he does he is not going to have any choice but to recognise that he is being silly.
Some girl is going to snap him up and he aint going to know what hit him!
yorkie_chris
12-02-09, 02:16 PM
And the next post will be "I had to give that little tw4t a lift to the clinic... caught off a toilet seat? ... yeah right... #grumble grumble#"
good grief been out all day and have to read through pages of posts.Some really helpful and some just drivel(v funny though).
Looks like I'll be takin him round Bristol with Dappa D ,A big stick and looking for a bird thats had 6 pints and walks with a waddle and has soft downy feathers.
(wanders of to ponder the usefull answers(not Lozzos))
maybe hes bating for the other side?
maybe hes bating for the other side?
Oi breadboy stop trying to convert the pretty lad to your ways :twisted:
maybe hes bating for the other side?
do you mean "batting";)
To be honest he can bat for whatever team he likes(as long as its not in Trafford).so long as he is happy.
Idea...Hovis do you fancy coming out with us ,to make us look good:smt115:smt019
Kate Moss
12-02-09, 02:57 PM
As pm'd - bring him to Plymouth!! Know a good strip club we could take him to, im sure some girls would pay him some attention in there!
do you mean "batting";)
yes dad
Idea...Hovis do you fancy coming out with us ,to make us look good:smt115:smt019
no thanks, im not to keen on gay bars
As pm'd - bring him to Plymouth!! Know a good strip club we could take him to, im sure some girls would pay him some attention in there!
yeah............ once he gives the £50;)
Dappa D
12-02-09, 03:02 PM
good grief been out all day and have to read through pages of posts.Some really helpful and some just drivel(v funny though).
Looks like I'll be takin him round Bristol with Dappa D ,A big stick and looking for a bird thats had 6 pints and walks with a waddle and has soft downy feathers.
(wanders of to ponder the usefull answers(not Lozzos))
lets do it!, ...although i did like lozzo;s idea...well.....not the tutes......
chris8886
12-02-09, 03:09 PM
has he got many hobbies? playing sports its always a good confidence builder
i just get angry when i play sport, but that's probably got more to do with me being a sore loser! so then afterwards i'm even less likely to talk to anyone cos i'm still angry :rolleyes:
As pm'd - bring him to Plymouth!! Know a good strip club we could take him to, im sure some girls would pay him some attention in there!
now i'm definately coming on this if we're gonna go to a strippy :cheers:
on a moreserious note. i really am not the confident type and struggle to drum up the courage even after a few drinks :( the best thing i do is try and meet mates female friends as you at least get an introduction that way to break that first ice barrier!
My lad is 18 ,and is causing me real concerns.He has got it into his head that he is ugly and that no one will ever want to be with him.No matter how much I talk to him ,he still does not have any confidence in his own looks.I ve tried to tell him that he is very "handsome" ,not to worry etc ,but nothing seems to work.This is effecting his confidence and starting to bring him down.He comes out with things like "i really like her ,but why would she want to go with someone like me?""Girls stare at me all the time because Im so ugly" etc.Ive tried to tell him that maybe girls stare at him because he is the exact opposite of ugly ,but that seems to make him worse.He thinks Im fibbing to him to make him feel better.
Any one else had to deal with this problem or got any advice?
Just point out to him that you managed to get a gf - looks obviously dont matter ;);)
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