Stress or something worse?

[DanAbnormal]

Okay, I am throwing myself at the mercy of the mighty .org but I need some advice.........

On Wednesday last week something snapped inside my head and I went a bit mental. Abnormal.....you could say.

I smashed up my PC. I mean I literally tore it to peices, monitor, case, innards you name it I destroyed it. Now, the worrying part is I have no real memory of the event, just the aftermath of me standing in the garden seeing my PC strewn across the lawn in a thousand (slight exaggeration) peices. My PC was something I loved, it cost me well over a grand to build and was used probably far too much (not for porn I might add). One of my hobbies is 3d graphics and another is gaming.

Now, I recently got put 'at risk of redundancy' and looks 99% sure that I am going. I've not really stressed about it too much but I have felt very angry of late. I have had anger attacks in the past but this is by and far the worst and I've never blanked out before like this. I also cut my hands up pretty bad doing whatever it was I was doing, superficial but quite a lot of blood which freaked me out a bit when I came too. I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday morning but am not sure what I even say to them and am worried it may affect other aspects of my life (mortgage, insurance etc) if it's something that goes on my file.

So, er, yeah. I guess I am living up to my name quite well.........

Oh I also smashed my phone too but that's because it was crap.

[the_lone_wolf]

At the risk of making you angry.......








http://seattlest.com/attachments/seattle_audrey/hulk.jpg

[DanAbnormal]

That really cheered me up! :laughat:

[dizzyblonde]

docs is the first step. Tell them everything thats happened. Tell them that you feel pretty angry, and flare up.
You may not think you feel stressed about things, but I think you may be surprised at what the doc may say.

[dizzyblonde]

lol that made me laugh too!

[Dave20046]

Not sure about stress but I know you can blank with depression, ever had any issues like that? Or it could be that the two have linked. pressure getting you down etc.
Hope you get it sorted mate and keep in work :thumright:

[DanAbnormal]

I've had anger before. Funnily enough it's always related to technology or my hobbies. I threw an xbox from my bedroom window, which was on the first floor, I put my fist through my LCD TV about 5 months ago as a game annoyed me (how stupid) and once I even smashed up my motorbike with a hammer.............but it was only a GN250..:rolleyes:

I probably have anger management issues but I've never blanked out before and that is what I am worried about.

[Milky Bar Kid]

Deffo need to explain all to the Dr.You might need to put a bit of pressure on them to take it seriously though.

We are having really similar problems with my brother. He gets himself into such a rage he blanks out. He nearly punched me the other day and if he had, he would have KO'd me for sure!

He's been back and forth to the Dr and only now have they referred him to a psychologist. Their intial response was to give him diazepam to take when he loses his temper......talk about shuting the door after the horse has bolted!!!

[Dave20046]

yeah I think everyone get's similar feelings you must just go a bit hulky :p I'd be tempted to do the same but I'm far to tight to smash stuff :mrgreen: apart from a phone when it woke me up lol.

Tbh mate there's only so much help we can give you on here, docs is the first priority - you don't want to let it get out of hand. Atleast you've identified the problem, that's half the battle.

[DanAbnormal]

He's been back and forth to the Dr and only now have they referred him to a psychologist. Their intial response was to give him diazepam to take when he loses his temper......talk about shuting the door after the horse has bolted!!!

That's another concern, I don't really want to take any drugs.

I used to be into weight lifting, well I still am but the natural way. It does make me wonder at times if my past abuses are catching up with me. :smt087

[maviczap]

Yep, the Dr will hopefully refer you to a crisis team. One of my team is going through a bad patch. Different to your symtoms, but needed expert help in how to deal with stress, depression etc

[DanAbnormal]

Okay, do youthink I should openly tell the doc's that I have taken, er, performance enhancers in the past? (I don't mean Viagra) :D

And no, my willy has not shrunk, it's always been 3inches! ;)

[Milky Bar Kid]

Okay, do youthink I should openly tell the doc's that I have taken, er, performance enhancers in the past? (I don't mean Viagra) :D

And no, my willy has not shrunk, it's always been 3inches! ;)

Definately tell them everything. They can only help you properly if you are honest with them

[Graciepants]

Okay, do youthink I should openly tell the doc's that I have taken, er, performance enhancers in the past? (I don't mean Viagra) :D

we get taught to ask this question cos it does have an effect on diagnosis, a good GP wont judge you or anything like that, but to you its quite important that you do mention it because drugs can have a massive effect on the brain's chemistry

[Dave20046]

Okay, do youthink I should openly tell the doc's that I have taken, er, performance enhancers in the past? (I don't mean Viagra) :D

And no, my willy has not shrunk, it's always been 3inches! ;)
Do you mean performance enhancers i.e sex or weight lifting?

[Ed]

Dan - FFS, tell him/her everything, warts and all. There's no point in lying, be honest, tell him/her everything. S/he won't judge you, they are there to help, and unless you're completely open how can you expect an informed diagnosis? There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

[DanAbnormal]

There's no point in going unless you're prepared to bare your soul.

I did that once already when I had a bike accident and hurt my knackers. But that's another story.....

Yes, I guess I will have to come clean about a few things then to the docs. I really don't like going to the doctors, I always feel like I am being judged!

[dizzyblonde]

my doc were pretty good when I fell off the happy boat. Well I fell off the bike on the way to see him, so he had to be nice! I had to ring the surgery and tell them i was going to be a tad late due to having a head tarmac interface, but he waited ( I think in his lunch break) to see me.
They ain't ogres...well not all the time.

[Warthog]

Remember, medical records are invisible to insurance and banks. If your rage happens on someone elses car or property then you WILL have a problem with insurance and banks as you will have a criminal record.

[plowsie]

Okay, do youthink I should openly tell the doc's that I have taken, er, performance enhancers in the past? (I don't mean Viagra) :D

And no, my willy has not shrunk, it's always been 3inches! ;)
That big :shock: you are now my idol :D

Seriously mate, tell all to the docs, listen to what is said. I see your worried about insurance mortgage etc. I have always been in the know that knowledge between a doctor and patient stays between doctor and patient no?

[gruntygiggles]

As long as your rage only affects you and does not lead to any form of criminal record, insurance and banks will not know about it as far as I know. They don't even know about criminal records, but if they ask and you fail to disclose, you are then technically committing fraud, but that is irrelevant here.

I was diagnosed with depression a few years back. Lost my job, friends, house and most of life went down the pan because someone committed identitiy fraud against my neightbours and they found that one of my cheques had been used to pay the locksmith that the fraudster used to open the doors to my neighbours house. Unfortunately, it wasn't until 7 months later that thr police found in the evidence taken from my house, evidence of the farudster and so I was cleared....but by this point I had had 4 trips to the magistrates court, numerous interviews and pretty much lost everything but my family and dogs.

Tell your doctor everything on Tuesday Dan, he or she will not judge you. I think you will probably find it to be the total oppsite to be honest. If you go in there and tell your doctor everything that you have told us here, he or she will be nothing less than full of admiration of your honesty and will do the very best they can to help you. A proper diagnosis and tretament can only come where all details are known. Also, tell the doctor that you don't want to take any drugs. There are always other options, but you will only open the conversation up to these options if you are honest.

Good luck Dan, hope it goes well on Tuesday. I know what you should have on your t-shirt at the AR.......THW even posted a pic for you!

[Milky Bar Kid]

As long as your rage only affects you and does not lead to any form of criminal record, insurance and banks will not know about it as far as I know. They don't even know about criminal records, but if they ask and you fail to disclose, you are then technically committing fraud, but that is irrelevant here.

I was diagnosed with depression a few years back. Lost my job, friends, house and most of life went down the pan because someone committed identitiy fraud against my neightbours and they found that one of my cheques had been used to pay the locksmith that the fraudster used to open the doors to my neighbours house. Unfortunately, it wasn't until 7 months later that thr police found in the evidence taken from my house, evidence of the farudster and so I was cleared....but by this point I had had 4 trips to the magistrates court, numerous interviews and pretty much lost everything but my family and dogs.

!

Holy feck! No wonder youu suffered from depression! That must have been terrible!

[gruntygiggles]

Holy feck! No wonder youu suffered from depression! That must have been terrible!

Not the best time of my life and I learned a heck of a lot, have seen the law from both sides, found out who my true friends are (and it's amazing how few and far between they can be) and I am now more protective of my personal information than most would think possible!

It's made me a better person though as I am more willing now to be open to giving second chances and forgiving people.

Luckily as mentioned in a post last month I think, that fraudster broke in to my home...long story. I moved a few months later and wanted a male lodger to have someone else around the house that would maybe deter another break in and Stretchie moved in. He is the single best thing that has ever happened to me and so.....all clouds have a silver lining.

As for DanAbnormal.........going to the doctors on Tuesday and telling them everything will be the best thing you do this year!

[Milky Bar Kid]

Not the best time of my life and I learned a heck of a lot, have seen the law from both sides, found out who my true friends are (and it's amazing how few and far between they can be) and I am now more protective of my personal information than most would think possible!

It's made me a better person though as I am more willing now to be open to giving second chances and forgiving people.

Luckily as mentioned in a post last month I think, that fraudster broke in to my home...long story. I moved a few months later and wanted a male lodger to have someone else around the house that would maybe deter another break in and Stretchie moved in. He is the single best thing that has ever happened to me and so.....all clouds have a silver lining.

As for DanAbnormal.........going to the doctors on Tuesday and telling them everything will be the best thing you do this year!

Yep think I read about the guy being in your house in the other thread. Glad it all worked out for you though, some people might not have survived an ordeal like that!

[gruntygiggles]

Yep think I read about the guy being in your house in the other thread. Glad it all worked out for you though, some people might not have survived an ordeal like that!

Poor Stretchie. I had been arrested for wasting police time for that break in.....they thought I had set it up myself, but how anyone can restrain themselves like that I don't know. All I can say is, the arresting officer (think he was a DC had to bring my belongings back to me and Dan was in. He'd only lived with me for about 5 weeks and had to deal with me getting in a state. Still.....I know which policeman to call if I ever have a problem. I have never known anyone be so apologetic! I was never offered any form of counseling though, but I had Stretchie and my family and to be honest, have been through worse in losing loved ones, so I just put it in perspective.

I love the way you can give a video statement now though......I thought that was a brilliant thing. If you really were a criminal, I bet that can catch a lot of people out!

[JohnMcL7]

That's another concern, I don't really want to take any drugs.


Perfectly understandable as many people are the same, I went to the Doctor as I have a very bad needle phobia which was getting out of hand as I was in dire need of dental treatment. I was rather disappointed that the only option I was offered was Diazepam which didn't really seem to be any sort of fix for the problem and I really didn't like the idea of it so didn't take them. Then aroundn 18 months later (long after the prescription expired) I was hit by a bad infection and was willing to do anything to sort it out, I relented and went with a single Diazepam and since then managed to get everything sorted out with just a single Diazepam each time.

All I'm saying is don't immediately dismiss whatever the Doctor offers, it's worth reading up on it to find out if you want to take it or not. I don't know if they would diagnose diazepam in this case, I'm surprised in the previous post they have done for something similar as I find with this drug that you have to let it help you or it does very little plus it has to be taken an hour beforehand. The dog is on diazepam for his monthly blood samples which the vet insisted on (as well as extra people) due to him putting up such a struggle (more than you'd believe possible for an elderly arthritic spaniel with kidney failure) but I have to say they don't make the blind bit of difference, once he's in panic mode that's it.

Hopefully you'll be able to get something useful, I very much agree with the recommendations to be entirely honest as it's the only way you're going to get accurate advice.

John

[BanditPat]

Go see the doctor and tell him everyhing. Bottling it up is only going to make it worse. I smashed my computer as well. not with my hands with a starter motor and an alternator rotor (dont ask why i had those with my computer) and the computer can be replaced but its a bit harder to replace you.

[richie95]

redundancy is stressful its self, are your company offering counselling to help dealing with the stress, either through soem sort of occupational health thing... counselling for a bit can help talking it thoguh with an objective person... may help... hope it works out ok for you

[Speedy Claire]

I think many people get stressed Dan and many people are tempted to trash pc`s, phones etc. when they`re in a rage but the majority of people don`t do it. There`s something inside our heads that stops us and we see sense ie. if I trash my PC I won`t have one to use. I hate to say this but personally I think your behaviour is totally abnormal (please don`t think I`m having a pop there cos i`m not). This is a wake up call, you`re already obviously recognising that that behaviour is not right and it`s not acceptable cos you`ve made a GP appt.

The behaviour you mention mimics the behaviour of an ex boyfriend who took steroids for body building... I used to time my shifts at work so as to avoid having to see him cos his rages were so bad. I tried to persuade him to get help but he refused so needless to say I ended the relationship.

Your doctor will not make fun of you... you have to tell him/her everything (including everythring from your past) Like me the GP will probably think "well done that man for recognising he has a severe problem here". Your GP should refer you to the appropriate dept who can help you. Personally if he offers Diazepam I wouldn`t take it. Is a terrible drug and only masks the problems and creates more. If he does offer you anti depressants or other types of drugs don`t be too quick to dismiss them. There are lots of drugs out there that are effective in dealing with your symptoms.

[dirtydog]

Now, the worrying part is I have no real memory of the event, just the aftermath of me standing in the garden seeing my PC strewn across the lawn in a thousand (slight exaggeration) peices.

I've never blanked out before like this.

Are you sure Nikki didn't just club you over the head for making a mess of the garden?

Okay, do youthink I should openly tell the doc's that I have taken, er, performance enhancers in the past?

If I was you I'd find the bloke that sold them to you and ask for a refund as they obviously didn't work ;).

Seriously though go to the docs and be completely honest with them it's the only way they'll be able to help you properly.
I think we all go a bit mad at times, I used to frequently blank out after losing my temper. I still get angry at times and have lashed out at inanaimate things, prime example is when my old SV wouldn't start one morning i managed to put my foot through the little panel things under the seat before kicking it over and I have had to replace PS controllers on several occasions :-dd

[DanAbnormal]

I have had to replace PS controllers on several occasions :-dd

I've found an angry friend. :D

I could not count how many I have smashed against the wall. I even cut my head open once (not long ago) after headbutting my controller over and over.

Thanks for all the advice, still quite daunting the prospect of spilling all this out to a GP. Much easier telling you fine people but you knew I was already weird anyway.

Just as an aside, I'm now worried that people will be avoiding me at the AR......I've never once lost my temper or even got angry at a person or pet. It's just 'stuff' that gets broken.

[Alpinestarhero]

Dan, I hope you gett his sorted. Be completly honest. If it helps, write dow everything - sometimes being under the spotlight, you can forget certain information which may be important to getting the right diagnosis and treatment.

Although you've only smashed up your personal possesions before, what if one day something gets your back up and you take it out on another person (who probably got your back up) or someone elses property? That would be terrible, not just for the other people but i expect for you when you calm down and come to.

Do you still do lots of exersice? Not weights and stuff, but you know, running and things.

Lots of people get annoyed with tech and games; my bro once put his fist through a window beause his mate beat him af FIFA world cup '98 on the PS1. My dad wasnt too happy...

Oh and BTW - I think your honesty will mean people wont avoid you at the AR; I certainly won't be. If something irritates you and you feel the anger rising though, let someone know, theres no shame in that

[gruntygiggles]

I've found an angry friend. :D

I could not count how many I have smashed against the wall. I even cut my head open once (not long ago) after headbutting my controller over and over.

Thanks for all the advice, still quite daunting the prospect of spilling all this out to a GP. Much easier telling you fine people but you knew I was already weird anyway.

Just as an aside, I'm now worried that people will be avoiding me at the AR......I've never once lost my temper or even got angry at a person or pet. It's just 'stuff' that gets broken.

The only thing you're likely to get at the AR is a bunch of us aking how things are going and then not mentioning it again.

Of course, if you were to be at the bar and (accidentally) forget your wallett and get mad at yourself for it, I'm sure many will be more than willing to get your round in........not that I am giving you any suggestions or anything :smt077

[gruntygiggles]

Dan, I hope you gett his sorted. Be completly honest. If it helps, write dow everything - sometimes being under the spotlight, you can forget certain information which may be important to getting the right diagnosis and treatment.

Although you've only smashed up your personal possesions before, what if one day something gets your back up and you take it out on another person (who probably got your back up) or someone elses property? That would be terrible, not just for the other people but i expect for you when you calm down and come to.

Do you still do lots of exersice? Not weights and stuff, but you know, running and things.

Lots of people get annoyed with tech and games; my bro once put his fist through a window beause his mate beat him af FIFA world cup '98 on the PS1. My dad wasnt too happy...

+1

writing it all down is a great idea!

[DanAbnormal]

Thanks peeps, writing stuff down is a good idea.

Alpine: Yes I run a fair bit, 4 times a week and also weights 4 times a week. Could that be affecting it?

As far as the smashing stuff up goes, in all my years I have never broken anything that didn't belong to me. In my mind that is too far (although this probably seems strange). I have no quarrel breaking my own expensive stuff up but will not do it to something that my wife uses etc.

[dirtydog]

I've found an angry friend. :D

Just as an aside, I'm now worried that people will be avoiding me at the AR.......

I'm much more chilled now, not sure why though.

We don't need an excuse to avoid you Dan ;)

Although you've only smashed up your personal possesions before, what if one day something gets your back up and you take it out on another person (who probably got your back up) or someone elses property? That would be terrible, not just for the other people but i expect for you when you calm down and come to.


It's surprising how easily it can escalate to hitting someone, I have to admit it I have lashed out and hit people before when they've got my back up. Not proud of it though.

[Alpinestarhero]

Thanks peeps, writing stuff down is a good idea.

Alpine: Yes I run a fair bit, 4 times a week and also weights 4 times a week. Could that be affecting it?

As far as the smashing stuff up goes, in all my years I have never broken anything that didn't belong to me. In my mind that is too far (although this probably seems strange). I have no quarrel breaking my own expensive stuff up but will not do it to something that my wife uses etc.

Hmm...i was thinking exersice could help. Maybe you have too much testosterone running about in your body...go and have a manicure and do some shoe shopping, man down a bit :cheers:

in all seriousness though, im glad you keep enough composure not to go about smashing up stuff that isnt yours. Although, im sure for your wallet and your mental health..and physical health...it would be best not to smash anything up.

Can you feel outbursts of anger coming? Whats it like when that happens? What if you got a punchbag or something, something you can safely beat the living crap out of? or a pinata! sweets at the end as a reward for not wrecking another epxnesive electrical item!

[gruntygiggles]

Thanks peeps, writing stuff down is a good idea.

Alpine: Yes I run a fair bit, 4 times a week and also weights 4 times a week. Could that be affecting it?

As far as the smashing stuff up goes, in all my years I have never broken anything that didn't belong to me. In my mind that is too far (although this probably seems strange). I have no quarrel breaking my own expensive stuff up but will not do it to something that my wife uses etc.

It's obvious that YOU will never lash out at a person or their property, but the problem with rage is that you are not being YOU when you are in it. Take the PC in the garden...you don't remember how you got to the point you found yourself with bits of it strewn across the lawn, so you have no way of knowing how you would have reacted had someone come to stop you mid rage.

Having a problem like this doesn't make you a bad person or mean that there's anything for you to embarrassed about. It just means that at the moment, there is a part of you that you cannot control and you need help to do that. If you broke your legs and were given a wheelchair, you wouldn't hesitate to accept the help and use it. Do the same now........be honest, be open to what the doctor suggests/precribes as, although I would steer clear of diazepam, there are other drugs that may be beneficial, but if you say you would rather avoid that......they'll do what they can to accommodate you.

[SoulKiss]

Just as an aside, I'm now worried that people will be avoiding me at the AR......I've never once lost my temper or even got angry at a person or pet. It's just 'stuff' that gets broken.

No worries mate, oh and btw, great bike you have, always wanted one of those, whaterver it is ................ :)

Hope you get it sorted.

[Alpinestarhero]

Drug treatment for physcological problems...I've never been a fan of that. It can work well in addition to non-drug therapy, but I thing for many things its not good. Try anger managment, some sort of behavioural therapy....Maria (miss alpinestarhero) might know a bit more about this kinda thing, I'm but a lowly chemist (so why arn't I promoting the use the very things I am educated to make..? ah well)

[SoulKiss]

I'm but a lowly chemist (so why arn't I promoting the use the very things I am educated to make..? ah well)

You got that POS51 made up for me yet?

[DanAbnormal]

Thanks again for the replies and advice.

And to answer you Alpine, I get very hot, and I don't mean frisky! Then it just washes over me and I feel compelled to punch something or just scream. I read up about it and they say that when anger strikes your body releases chemicals such as adrenaline and then you find ways to expel that energy, In my case I lash out on stuff but my mind goes as well and logical thought doesn't seem to stop me from breaking things that cost money. It makes having a hobby quite hard as when things don't go my way I break the item and all things related to it.

Curse my stupid brain.

And DD, I could make an exception for you with my anger. :) Cheeky swine. :rolleyes:

[Alpinestarhero]

Thanks again for the replies and advice.

And to answer you Alpine, I get very hot, and I don't mean frisky! Then it just washes over me and I feel compelled to punch something or just scream. I read up about it and they say that when anger strikes your body releases chemicals such as adrenaline and then you find ways to expel that energy, In my case I lash out on stuff but my mind goes as well and logical thought doesn't seem to stop me from breaking things that cost money. It makes having a hobby quite hard as when things don't go my way I break the item and all things related to it.

Curse my stupid brain.

And DD, I could make an exception for you with my anger. :) Cheeky swine. :rolleyes:

Wow, so you literally need to cool off. You're right about the release of the neurochemicals, I guess your reverting back to a more "primal" state. I wonder if something like beta-blockers can help; these block the action of things like adrenaline and noradrenaline (very closely related chemicals), so although its released, it never gets to bind to another cell to fire you up.

At the very least, it might take some strain off your heart when things get going! I hope you can find a solution dan, keep us posted...maybe typing things out like this in some sort of pseudo-anonymous way can help

[Alpinestarhero]

You got that POS51 made up for me yet?
come see me in my lair

i mean lab

mmmmmmmwahahahahahaaha the world shall be MINE!!!

i mean ours

[kitkat]

change your hobbies to cushion stuffing or soft toy making lol

[DanAbnormal]

change your hobbies to cushion stuffing or soft toy making lol

I would then destroy the sewing machine. :smt101

So you want me to start a hobby that involves knives and needles!?

[kitkat]

I would then destroy the sewing machine. :smt101

So you want me to start a hobby that involves knives and needles!?

it would maybe make you think about what you were doing before having your toddler tantrum. Might not be so tough if you were to get hurt and not just the poor wee inanimate machine that has beat you (cos your crap not the machines problem)

luv ya :grin:

[dizzyblonde]

I would then destroy the sewing machine. :smt101




depends on the sewing machine matey! Get an old 1970's one like mine upstairs and it'll beat you before you beat it.....they weigh a ton:)

Mind you if you chuck it, its likely to put a hole in your floor:silent:

[Milky Bar Kid]

I have broken my hand repeatedly from hitting things when I have been in a rage in the past. I don't know how I stopped, it just kind of mellowed a bit I suppose.....

Dont fancy messing with you sewing machine Dizzy.....sounds like it would be painful!

[dirtydog]

And DD, I could make an exception for you with my anger. :) Cheeky swine. :rolleyes:

:smt081:smt028

I'm much worse when i'm driving although I do get a bit stressed on the bike as well. Had a bit of fistycuffs with a bloke outside franki&bennys in guildford a couple of years ago after he cut me up. Almost had the same agasin a little while later at the same place witk KK as my pillion.

[ophic]

get a laptop... they break easier ;)

[Warthog]

I cut my hands wide open when just replacing the RAM in my PC, they are razor sharp inside!

Dan, I used to have a short temper with my brother and kept hitting him. The only solution is to recognise when you are getting angry and then calm yourself down, and make your brain calmer. After a few times of actually conquering the anger, then it gets a lot easier, just like everything else. Its a mental change that needs to happen and only you can do it. Without drugs. Just take a few deep breathes and stop doing what you are doing when you feel yourself getting angry! Its totally possible.

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

Okay, I am throwing myself at the mercy of the mighty .org but I need some advice.........

On Wednesday last week something snapped inside my head and I went a bit mental. Abnormal.....you could say.

I smashed up my PC. I mean I literally tore it to peices, monitor, case, innards you name it I destroyed it. Now, the worrying part is I have no real memory of the event, just the aftermath of me standing in the garden seeing my PC strewn across the lawn in a thousand (slight exaggeration) peices. My PC was something I loved, it cost me well over a grand to build and was used probably far too much (not for porn I might add). One of my hobbies is 3d graphics and another is gaming.

Now, I recently got put 'at risk of redundancy' and looks 99% sure that I am going. I've not really stressed about it too much but I have felt very angry of late. I have had anger attacks in the past but this is by and far the worst and I've never blanked out before like this. I also cut my hands up pretty bad doing whatever it was I was doing, superficial but quite a lot of blood which freaked me out a bit when I came too. I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday morning but am not sure what I even say to them and am worried it may affect other aspects of my life (mortgage, insurance etc) if it's something that goes on my file.

So, er, yeah. I guess I am living up to my name quite well.........

Oh I also smashed my phone too but that's because it was crap.

Theres already been very good words of advice from others on here so I shall do my best not to repeat myself..

The fact that you have recognised that your anger is a problem is a step in the right direction. Stress may very well contribute to your outbursts of rage but I think there is more to it than that. Basically - your rage is being triggered off by stress. GG made a very good point - although you say you would never harm a person or their property, YOU are not fully in control of yourself when you get angry to the point of blank rage. I get very very angry sometimes and feel like smashing things but I don't. My level of self control and my consciousness is telling me to relax and hold back. It seems that you literally let yourself go and freak out.

When you smashed up your PC - do you remember anything about it at all? What were you doing before it happened?

You said you've had anger attacks in the past; how did you manage those? how frequent were they? Were they random outbursts or was there a very specific trigger?

Id personally admit everything to your GP when you see him/her on Tuesday. Dont hold back because you will only recieve the help you want if they have all the information possible. They wont judge you, im sure they have people with much worse problems :)

If your not keen on taking medication then thats fine - tell your GP that. There are many other things which can help such as anger management. Here you'l probably be given help to recognise when your anger is building up and strategies to prevent it from becoming a full on outburst. Having other psychological treatment such a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (recognising and breaking your anger pattern) might be a bit extreme at this stage. You could even have small doses of medication to help you initially but couple that with non-medicinal things.

HTH and let us know how you get on dude

Maria

[dizzyblonde]

. Having other psychological treatment such a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (recognising and breaking your anger pattern) might be a bit extreme at this stage.
Maria

ahh now I really benefitted from this. I asked for one one therapy, as here they do it by computer or over the phone. Something in the 'phone' method just didn't appeal, as mainly I can be doing a million and one things whilst someone is on the othe end of the phone, and I couldn't take stuff on board.
Not only was I depressed but I also stored stuff. For example, I'd get annoyed by tiny things, and rather than doing something or say something about the tiny thing, I'd store it up, so the more there was in a day, the bigger the volcano eruption at the end of it. I got advice on how to manage it, and how to avoid getting stressed about stuff in the first place.

I thoroughly recommend one on one therapy. It starts ona 6 week course, but goes on as long as it takes for you to feel you are coping better

[Milky Bar Kid]

Unfortunately where I am, its like a 20 week waiting list for one on one therapy.....!

[DanAbnormal]

The only solution is to recognise when you are getting angry and then calm yourself down, and make your brain calmer. After a few times of actually conquering the anger, then it gets a lot easier, just like everything else. Its a mental change that needs to happen and only you can do it. Without drugs. Just take a few deep breathes and stop doing what you are doing when you feel yourself getting angry! Its totally possible.

Hey buddy, I just don't think it is. The amount of times I have tried but I change when this happens, rational thought no longer exists and all that is left is rage and it takes over. It's very hard to explain and I am sure others are thinking "just calm yourself down" when unless you go thorugh it is almost impossible to explain.

[Messie]

Life, mind, brain can be very complicated.

Please see your GP as soon as possible but they may be great or they may be pants
- don't give up. May take more than one visit and more than one GP. And don't dismiss drugs out of hand. You wouldn't if you had pneumonia!

[sarah]

Hey buddy, I just don't think it is. The amount of times I have tried but I change when this happens, rational thought no longer exists and all that is left is rage and it takes over. It's very hard to explain and I am sure others are thinking "just calm yourself down" when unless you go thorugh it is almost impossible to explain.

I think you are selling yourself short there, Dan. You said earlier that you never break things that aren't yours or hurt other people/animals so you clearly aren't TOTALLY losing control.

Hope all goes well at the docs tomorrow.

:grouphug:

[dizzyblonde]

Unfortunately where I am, its like a 20 week waiting list for one on one therapy.....!


It used to be a sixx month waiting list for CBT here, even the doc was surprised how quick it was to get in now

[Milky Bar Kid]

I was meant to go for it about 5 years ago.....I was referred and I am STILL waiting on an appointment.......

Thankfully I'm ok now!

[DanAbnormal]

Saw the doc this morning, told him everything. He gave me some stuff to read and sent me on my way. Got to go back in one week.

[Leopard_lily]

Hmmmmm - are you pleased with this outcome??? did he offer any suggestions in the meantime???

[DanAbnormal]

Hmmmmm - are you pleased with this outcome??? did he offer any suggestions in the meantime???

Not really but then I'm not sure what I was expecting to be honest as I've never gone to the docs for anything other than near death before.

[Leopard_lily]

Near death to you men = Man flu???? lol just kidding and hope you're fully recovered now.

But still if that were me - I'd know that i'd be pretty freaked out that had happened to me and would be very disappointed with my GP

[dirtydog]

rational thought no longer exists and all that is left is rage and it takes over. It's very hard to explain and I am sure others are thinking "just calm yourself down" when unless you go thorugh it is almost impossible to explain.

I know exactly where you're coming from Dan, gets a bit scarey don't it?

Not really but then I'm not sure what I was expecting to be honest as I've never gone to the docs for anything other than near death before.

Well it was pretty much certain death for your PC :smt066

[DanAbnormal]

Near death = slight cold. ;)

He did offer some advice in the form of some bits to read bu other than that pretty much what I expected from the NHS to be honest. I think I was there for about 3 minutes!

[600+]

so basically he did F*** ALL!!!

reminds me of a GP I know.....:@

[Leopard_lily]

Well I would have liked to be referred to a specialist for an EEG just as a precautionary measure really simply because of the fact that you have no recollection of what you did

[DanAbnormal]

Well I would have liked to be referred to a specialist for an EEG just as a precautionary measure really simply because of the fact that you have no recollection of what you did

I guess if I go back in a week and say I still feel the same then he'll do something. But I may be having a good day and feel good, in which case I guess nothing will be done.

This is why I just don't bother with doctors most times unless I come off the bike or something.

[fizzwheel]

rational thought no longer exists and all that is left is rage and it takes over. It's very hard to explain and I am sure others are thinking "

Nope I know exactly where you are coming from. I put my fist through a car windscreen when I was younger as I got frustrated about something and I wanted to hit out at the nearest thing available, which happened to be the car I was stood next to at the time.

I kicked the crap out of a pallett at work one day due to frustratation and I quite frequently have to turn the playstation off if I get stuck on a game and cant get past the level I am on as I feel the red mist brewing.

I also once through a pair of circlip pliers across the road when I couldnt get the baffles out of the exhaust on my SV.

Mines usually born our ot of stress or frustration with then builds on the stress levels and the increase them.

I've never really done anything about it as I've got older its mellowed and I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be.

[gruntygiggles]

I guess if I go back in a week and say I still feel the same then he'll do something. But I may be having a good day and feel good, in which case I guess nothing will be done.

This is why I just don't bother with doctors most times unless I come off the bike or something.

Yep, do go back in a week and remember as some people on here have pointed out, this will not be a quick solution problem. It's most likely a psychological problem and no doctor in their right mind would diagnose on first consultation. I think what your doctor has probably done is give you that reading material so that you can spend a week reading through, evaluating yourself and will be able to go back next week and say, "well, I don't ever feel like this or this, but I do sometimes feel like this" talking about points in the readign material. This would then help your doctor decide upon the best course of action but don't ever be afraid to ask for a second opinion, or a third or fourth and if you want to be referred, which I think you need, ASK for it. It's unfortunate, but some doctors just aren't that willing, so make sure you find a doctor that is and keep on top of them.

Also, while you're sat there now, call 08454647, NHS direct and tell them what happened this morning, that you wanted more than 3 minutes and some leaflets and they will put you on the phone to a doctor that you can talk to without as much time constraint.

ALSO again......when you are there next week, check the time allowance. It's usually 10 or 15 minutes and you have every right to demand the full consultation time. The more persistent you are, the quicker you will get this moving forward.

Good luck and don't be too disappointed, it's a hard life being a doctor and better to be cautious than miss diagnose!

[dirtydog]

I also once through a pair of circlip pliers across the road when I couldnt get the baffles out of the exhaust on my SV.

So that isn't normal? :smt102



I have thrown tools around many times when I've got frustrated with something even once threw my nearly new crach helmet on the floor after dropping my 125 on some diesel :thumbdown:

[Warthog]

I quite frequently have to turn the playstation off if I get stuck on a game and cant get past the level I am on as I feel the red mist brewing.

See this is what is important; recognising when the red mist is brewing, not when it is actually there. If you feel yourself getting angry then you have to stop what you are doing already, not just carry on and get more and more angry until you snap.

[Milky Bar Kid]

See this is what is important; recognising when the red mist is brewing, not when it is actually there. If you feel yourself getting angry then you have to stop what you are doing already, not just carry on and get more and more angry until you snap.


That's for people who have a "normal" (as it were) temper. We all get like that sometimes but I think Dan's problem is that he just "snaps" with little or no warning. I think if he could feel it coming on then he would stop what he was doing.

[Warthog]

That's for people who have a "normal" (as it were) temper. We all get like that sometimes but I think Dan's problem is that he just "snaps" with little or no warning. I think if he could feel it coming on then he would stop what he was doing.

Quite possibly, but then I think everyone is always on a sliding scale, there is no black and white. I used to be a lot more angry than I am now, and it was down to will power alone that I conquered it. Admittedly it was never anything as bad as Dan's blackouts, but will power and the mind is a powerful thing. I can't believe that one moment Dan is sitting around watching tele and the next he has destroyed his PC. He must have been playing a game or doing something that started to make him angry?

[kitkat]

think its cos Dan has a loose wire in his noggin and its short circuiting

[Milky Bar Kid]

Quite possibly, but then I think everyone is always on a sliding scale, there is no black and white. I used to be a lot more angry than I am now, and it was down to will power alone that I conquered it. Admittedly it was never anything as bad as Dan's blackouts, but will power and the mind is a powerful thing. I can't believe that one moment Dan is sitting around watching tele and the next he has destroyed his PC. He must have been playing a game or doing something that started to make him angry?


Yes, there is bound to be a trigger. But you can't believe it because, like I said in my previous post, you have a relatively "normal" temper.

Just because when you blow, you really blow doesn't mean you don't have a normal temper, you can still feel yourself getting to that stage.

I went thru a period of it before where I didn't know what was triggering it and I just lashed out at things, breaking my hand several times, bursting it open and gettin stitches, breaking toes from kicking things. Through councelling, I found out what was triggering me and can now control it.

[fizzwheel]

I think Dan's problem is that he just "snaps" with little or no warning.

Thats how it is for me. II've just learnt to recognise the signs that its coming. I didnt used to think there were any, but now I know that for me there are signs that I'm going to loose it and I oughta back away from what I'm doing.

Its easier to spot it coming now than it used to be though. Stress or an uncomfortable situation is always the trigger with me as well.

[kitkat]

just put Dan, Fizz and DD into a room together and see who flips first lol

[DanAbnormal]

I seem to go from slightly annoyed to full blown smashing things up in a nano-second. At first I talk to myself to calm myself down, things like, "It's just a game dan, walk away" or "It's just a peice of metal/plastic" from this step to smashing up I'm not sure what happens upstairs which is why I'm seeking help so that I can identify these problems and in the end avoid them altogether.

[gruntygiggles]

I seem to go from slightly annoyed to full blown smashing things up in a nano-second. At first I talk to myself to calm myself down, things like, "It's just a game dan, walk away" or "It's just a peice of metal/plastic" from this step to smashing up I'm not sure what happens upstairs which is why I'm seeking help so that I can identify these problems and in the end avoid them altogether.

And all credit to you for that. From what others with experience have said, the help that you can get will allow you to recognise that slightly annoyed state sooner and slow things down a bit for you to take control and prevent it escalating.

I have no doubt whatsoever that you will conquer this!

[Warthog]

The most important thing is though Dan:

Did you break my processor chip?! :-P

[Speedy Claire]

Dan am I confusing you with someone else or have you mentioned (on the forum) several other incidents? ie. one in an airport? If so then I really think you need to stress to the GP that you need support. TELL (not ask) your GP that you want to be referred to someone who can help you with this. Am I right in thinking that this sort of behaviour has been going on for a long time?? You could be suffering from something like Bi Polar which has many levels of severity and is treatable.

Best of luck and well done on wanting to do something about this... the support is out there, unfortunately you might have to push to try and get it.

BTW NHS Direct won`t be able to help you unfortunately.

[Dappa D]

Dan am I confusing you with someone else or have you mentioned (on the forum) several other incidents? ie. one in an airport? If so then I really think you need to stress to the GP that you need support. TELL (not ask) your GP that you want to be referred to someone who can help you with this. Am I right in thinking that this sort of behaviour has been going on for a long time?? You could be suffering from something like Bi Polar which has many levels of severity and is treatable.

Best of luck and well done on wanting to do something about this... the support is out there, unfortunately you might have to push to try and get it.

BTW NHS Direct won`t be able to help you unfortunately.

I have Bipolar, could be along those lines, as said already..TELL the Dr you need help!

[dizzyblonde]

wot a crap doctor. Go see another one in the surgery. And keep going until you get one that will actually do something for you.

[ophic]

I'm tolerant and have fairly long fuse, but having to go see a second doctor cos the first one was incompetent, would make me want to beat the stuffing out of him instead.

[gruntygiggles]

Dan am I confusing you with someone else or have you mentioned (on the forum) several other incidents? ie. one in an airport? If so then I really think you need to stress to the GP that you need support. TELL (not ask) your GP that you want to be referred to someone who can help you with this. Am I right in thinking that this sort of behaviour has been going on for a long time?? You could be suffering from something like Bi Polar which has many levels of severity and is treatable.

Best of luck and well done on wanting to do something about this... the support is out there, unfortunately you might have to push to try and get it.

BTW NHS Direct won`t be able to help you unfortunately.

+1, only mentioned NHS direct as they have to report. They won't be able to offer a referral, but last time I called them when I was suffering depression, they were great in giving me more details and expanding on what my doctor had said. Just a bit more support until next week.

[Speedy Claire]

+1, only mentioned NHS direct as they have to report. They won't be able to offer a referral, but last time I called them when I was suffering depression, they were great in giving me more details and expanding on what my doctor had said. Just a bit more support until next week.


Thats brilliant that they were able to offer you some support... maybe it depends on the area you`re living in but our NHS Direct is to put it mildly a load of crap!!!! I think there`s now talk of disbanding this service as it hasn`t proved very effective

[gruntygiggles]

Thats brilliant that they were able to offer you some support... maybe it depends on the area you`re living in but our NHS Direct is to put it mildly a load of crap!!!! I think there`s now talk of disbanding this service as it hasn`t proved very effective

Yeah, it's pretty good here.

I think the reason most hospitals have been so bad the last 10-20 years is because the government has seen fit to put business professionals in charge that have little or no understanding of the needs and hence, we have hospitals with too many doctors, not enough nurses, very few sisters and awful hygiene.

In the NHS direct, they have put health professionals in charge and I think that this is one side of the NHS that needs business brains behind it. It is essentially a call centre environment and so needs to be handled differently.

SO, yet again, the government have got it all ar$e backwards!!!

Also, I mentioned in a different thread last week I think that if you are unhappy with your doctor it can do the world of good to complain. Make and official complaint and stay with that practise. They will not risk any further complaints from the same patient so you can be sure to get proper attention and also, if they don't know they are doing, or have a doctor that is doing something wrong, they will not know to change it.

[Speedy Claire]

Totally agree.... if the NHS was run by business professionals with a nursing background then I`m sure there`d be a 100% improvement in standards of care.

If anyone want to make a complaint about their GP or any aspect of the NHS then this is the organisation to get in touch with

http://www.pals.nhs.uk/cmsContentView.aspx?ItemID=932

They`re extremely helpful and offer a range of advice. I recently lodged a complaint over a local GP practice who I`ve had various run ins with through my work. My complaint has been taken very seriously and it looks like something might actually be done to improve patient care within this practice, this is all thanks to PALS

[shonadoll]

Perfectly understandable as many people are the same, I went to the Doctor as I have a very bad needle phobia which was getting out of hand as I was in dire need of dental treatment. I was rather disappointed that the only option I was offered was Diazepam which didn't really seem to be any sort of fix for the problem and I really didn't like the idea of it so didn't take them. Then aroundn 18 months later (long after the prescription expired) I was hit by a bad infection and was willing to do anything to sort it out, I relented and went with a single Diazepam and since then managed to get everything sorted out with just a single Diazepam each time.

All I'm saying is don't immediately dismiss whatever the Doctor offers, it's worth reading up on it to find out if you want to take it or not. I don't know if they would diagnose diazepam in this case, I'm surprised in the previous post they have done for something similar as I find with this drug that you have to let it help you or it does very little plus it has to be taken an hour beforehand. The dog is on diazepam for his monthly blood samples which the vet insisted on (as well as extra people) due to him putting up such a struggle (more than you'd believe possible for an elderly arthritic spaniel with kidney failure) but I have to say they don't make the blind bit of difference, once he's in panic mode that's it.

Hopefully you'll be able to get something useful, I very much agree with the recommendations to be entirely honest as it's the only way you're going to get accurate advice.

John

Ask your vet about ACP or Zylkene tablets, both of them can also be used for stree in dogs, if the diazepam doesn't work, there's no benefit, so worth asking for an alternative.

[shonadoll]

Near death = slight cold. ;)

He did offer some advice in the form of some bits to read bu other than that pretty much what I expected from the NHS to be honest. I think I was there for about 3 minutes!

I've found that a lot of GP's don't take anything seriously until you have been at least twice. Make sure and go back, that's not good enough.:confused:

[DanAbnormal]

The most important thing is though Dan:

Did you break my processor chip?! :-P

No mate, that was safe. :)

[DanAbnormal]

Oh and Speedy Claire this is the first time I've admitted my problem, although I have suffered from it for a long time now.

[Speedy Claire]

Oh and Speedy Claire this is the first time I've admitted my problem, although I have suffered from it for a long time now.

My apologies for confusing you with someone else Dan. You still need to get this sorted mate... what you`ve described really does sound a tad bi polar to me. Very best of luck

[BanditPat]

I guess if I go back in a week and say I still feel the same then he'll do something. But I may be having a good day and feel good, in which case I guess nothing will be done.

This is why I just don't bother with doctors most times unless I come off the bike or something.


Even when you come off your bike their not always a lot of help. Its taken them 4 months to decide that i have indeed damaged my neck when i went back and made sure he realized, i got a large box if ibuprofen which doesent help for the pain in the slightest. Hope you get it sorted, he HAS to listen if you go back again ;)

[John 675]

take a break from your problems...

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s10/sammyislost/11kitens.jpg

the one on the left is Philip.. look at him.. he's having a wail of a time :)
when ever you feel your anger rising just look at Philip.. and your anger will recede like an ocean :p

seriously though stay frosty dude :)

[Ed]

Stress issues are much more common than you'd think. I think that you have been brave in admitting the issue in public. Not many do. I had a stress issue and occasionally still do, the doc has given me flupentixol for it. And it works, it gives a very mild floating feeling where things don't seem to matter quite so much. But far better still to recognise the symptoms and self-treat.

[Lozzo]

Okay, I am throwing myself at the mercy of the mighty .org but I need some advice.........

On Wednesday last week something snapped inside my head and I went a bit mental. Abnormal.....you could say.

I smashed up my PC. I mean I literally tore it to peices, monitor, case, innards you name it I destroyed it.

I've given this a couple of days thought and come to the conclusion that you're a bit of a mentalist.

My invoice is in the post.

[DanAbnormal]

I had a breakthrough this evening. My Pc is not as dead as I thought. Well the monitor and graphics card are, so that's £800 I won't see again, oh and the case is still bent but the rest is okay. I feel sort of better now.

I'll have to try harder next time I guess............