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timwilky
16-04-09, 02:39 PM
ok, is because I is fat but anything more than 10 yards starts to get hard work.

Getting up stairs on my knees, going down on my ****.

Having a bath with leg hanging out. all this I can cope with.

But, how the heck do I wipe my **** trying to lift myself off the bog on a pair of crutches and wipe at same time?
husky03
16-04-09, 02:41 PM
you don't mate-you hang your rump over the side of the bath and scoosh it with the shower.
Dave20046
16-04-09, 02:41 PM
ok, is because I is fat but anything more than 10 yards starts to get hard work.

Getting up stairs on my knees, going down on my ****.

Having a bath with leg hanging out. all this I can cope with.

But, how the heck do I wipe my **** trying to lift myself off the bog on a pair of crutches and wipe at same time?
do it whilst sat ;)
carty
16-04-09, 02:46 PM
Or hold it in...

Can't be easy fella, hopefully it won't last too long
dizzyblonde
16-04-09, 02:52 PM
Or hold it in...



but then he'll explode leaving a bit of a mess:rolleyes:
plowsie
16-04-09, 02:52 PM
ok, is because I is fat but anything more than 10 yards starts to get hard work.

Getting up stairs on my knees, going down on my ****.

Having a bath with leg hanging out. all this I can cope with.

But, how the heck do I wipe my **** trying to lift myself off the bog on a pair of crutches and wipe at same time?
I'm guessing your still sat on the bog now and posting from a laptop.

I'd say let it dry :smt031
Dave20046
16-04-09, 02:53 PM
but then he'll explode leaving a bit of a mess:rolleyes:
someone else'll have to clean it though :razz:
dizzyblonde
16-04-09, 02:55 PM
I'd say let it dry :smt031


ewwww Klingon:smt095
ArtyLady
16-04-09, 03:26 PM
lift your @rse cheek up on one side and wipe - then get up onto crutches - job done :cool:
Ping
16-04-09, 03:29 PM
*wonders who's going to be the sick pup that posts the 'This thread is useless without pictures' pics*





:smt003
Dicky Ticker
16-04-09, 03:32 PM
Do like the dog does:)
timwilky
16-04-09, 03:33 PM
What, crap on my lawn?
Speedy Claire
16-04-09, 03:34 PM
I thought the normal way to wipe your bum was to do it whilst sat on the loo? failing that I suggest that you leave the lower half of your body unclothed and whilst going downstairs on your bum grind your bum into the carpet thus by the time you get downstairs your bum will be nice and clean :D
jimmy__riddle
16-04-09, 03:42 PM
fill the toilet bowl with hungry fish and lower youself in?
Razor
16-04-09, 03:59 PM
fill the toilet bowl with hungry fish and lower youself in?

a pair of piranhas are only £80-
missyburd
16-04-09, 05:07 PM
I thought the normal way to wipe your bum was to do it whilst sat on the loo? failing that I suggest that you leave the lower half of your body unclothed and whilst going downstairs on your bum grind your bum into the carpet thus by the time you get downstairs your bum will be nice and clean :D
I was under that impression too but that suggestion just made me go ewwwwwwwwwww :-P

Get a bidet Tim
husky03
16-04-09, 05:14 PM
try this-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pARH-jsRt3U
Bluepete
16-04-09, 06:26 PM
You have a dog right?

Does it like peanut butter?

It it easy to train a dog to lick things tasting of peanut butter?

Pete ;)
timwilky
16-04-09, 06:30 PM
you is very nasty. That is the attitude I associate with Royal Marines and lesser military types
Mrs Blue Pete
16-04-09, 07:13 PM
You have a dog right?

Does it like peanut butter?

It it easy to train a dog to lick things tasting of peanut butter?

Pete ;)


OMG Tim I am so sorry. He has such a potty brain. :oops:
Razor
16-04-09, 08:05 PM
My dog won't lick peanut butter, but she goes mad for liver pate!
timwilky
19-04-09, 08:44 AM
Damm just fallen when a crutch slipped on the bathroom tiled floor. Broken leg hurts like hell as it hit the deck hard on the way down.

The crutches are fitted with different rubber tips, one is grey soft and deforms against the surface in use, the other thatr slipped is a hard black tip.

I guess somebody has changed a tip somewhere and fecked up
stewie
19-04-09, 12:56 PM
Do like the dog does:)
Dont know if humping someones leg will him too much :D
ixlr8
20-04-09, 05:22 AM
No, no, no pics :smt088

lift your @rse cheek up on one side and wipe - then get up onto crutches - job done :cool:

Same situation as you right now. Artylady's got the trick.

Re: falling; take your time until you've got the hang of it. I'm sweet with the crutches - I had a #leg at 18. They (crutches) are like riding a bicycle- except slower :-dd

Good luck with your recovery.

BTW Current hardware
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b122/ixlr82/April09sony105.jpg