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Old 28-09-09, 10:39 AM   #1
kitkat
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Default dilema

Im in a wee bit of a dilema. I have worked since leaving school in 1983 until last year. I moved down south and was pregnant so got maternity allowance and now that Libby is 9 months old Im signing on.

I applied for a job that was perfect, got interview, didnt get it.

applied for another job and have an interview, problem is I dont know if I want it, but feel guilty about signing on.

Job is in Guildford and is Monday, Wed, Thur - 14 hours total. Annual salary is £5800 so approx £100 a week. Childcare will cost me £90 a week but tax credits should help out. I love my time with Libby and we do lots of stuff.
Part of me thinks being a full time mum on dole is cheating the system and part of me thinks Ive paid into the system why not get something back.

dilema dilema
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Old 28-09-09, 10:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: dilema

You have paid your dues----DD still pays his and as you would be getting TC's its a catch 22 situation. I know I am old fashioned but would your daughter prefer you giving her tender love and care rather than a total stranger looking after her in her tender years? --------thats the question you should be asking.

Wait till she can go to pre-school and enjoy your time together

Last edited by Dicky Ticker; 28-09-09 at 10:48 AM.
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Old 28-09-09, 10:48 AM   #3
gruntygiggles
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Default Re: dilema

Well, I've always paid my taxes and I don't see any problem in a mother staying home to bring up her children, supported by taxes. I'd have a problem if that money was being spent on cigarettes, booze, Sky+ etc, but yours is a situation that many many people are in, so do what is right for you and the family.

For an extra few £££ a week, is it really worth missing out on the kids for that time.

OR

Maybe it's only an extra few £££ a week, but it will give you some independance back and a life away from being a mum for a few days a week....that can keep you refreshed and happy and be passed on to the family.

If you take a job and it doesn't work out, you can leave. It's a win win so do what is right for you all and makes you feel the most comfortable and happy!
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Old 28-09-09, 10:49 AM   #4
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At the end of the day Libby's only young once, you should enjoy as much time with her as possible before she goes to school and while she wants to spend it with you (i.e. before own opinions develop ). You've worked and are capable and willing to pick up work again so it's not as if you're deliberately avoiding getting a job. No point getting tied with a job you may not really enjoy and regretting the you and Libby-time you could/should be enjoying.

My mum was a full-time teacher before she had me, she went back to work when I was 3 and picked up another job no problem.
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Old 28-09-09, 10:50 AM   #5
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I know DT, I would need tosend her to nursery as I hate the thought of paying a childminder to do what I want to do. Thought about training to be a childminder but I really dont like other peoples kids. If I didnt need to sign on I would be happier but we need to eat. Right DD get more jobs - who needs a bathroom fitted. lol
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Old 28-09-09, 10:53 AM   #6
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thanx GG & MYC - DD would prefer me to stay at home too. I dont feel I need time away from her just now but that may come. I think when it gets to that point I will look into getting something part time.
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Old 28-09-09, 10:54 AM   #7
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Default Re: dilema

This is something the loverly Mrs FD and I have discussed and we came to the conclusion that it just wasn't worth missing out on the early years and tbh didn't *want* to hand over our child to a stranger, plenty of years left once they're at school to pick up a job again.

Of course we may change our minds in a years time when we're in the same boat as you.

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Old 28-09-09, 10:54 AM   #8
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I'll tell you what kitkat, stay on the dole, bring up your child good and proper. When she's old enough to go toddling off to school, then get a job. But in the meantime, get what you are owed - you've paid your taxes, why not get something back from them? After all, politicians have used your money to fund their high-life and go to war and build that crappy millenium dome

Being a mum is a full-time job. You have to clean, cook, clean more, feed, shop (for essentials, not just for shoes and hats and handbags!), all those things

Hope this helps
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Old 28-09-09, 10:55 AM   #9
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Default Re: dilema

Also, there are many schemes available now to get mums back into work and decent jobs at that, so don't feel like you'll ruin your chances by choosing to stay home.

Like MYC and Dicky Ticker say, they're only young once!
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Old 28-09-09, 11:00 AM   #10
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Default Re: dilema

Also, what were you doing work wise before?

If you have an area of expertise, you could look down the route of applying for board memberships for all sorts of different companies. You can get anything from voluntary board memberships to being paid £12-15k per year for SME boards for maybe 3-4 days work a month and quarterly board meetings. There'd be a little extra work, but you'd have that to do in your own time and at home.

Then, when it comes to job hunting in a few years, you'll be able to add £££ to your salary, just for your board experience. I used to assess, interview and place board members for all sorts of organisations, so if you want to explore this, PM me. You don't always have to be in management/highly skilled to get on a board.
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