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Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick). There's also a "U" rating so please respect this. Newbies can also say "hello" here too. |
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18-12-09, 04:13 PM
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#1 |
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Not in Yorkshire. (Thank God)
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How do I straighten a gay dog?
Seriously, I need to straighten out the only gay dog in the village. My son has a 9 month old rescue staff that s definitely on the other bus. It is constantly trying to hump other dogs and getting battered by them jealously guarding their honour and proud of their masculinity?
He has thought of getting his nuts cut, but we are scared that will make him even more the other way. How do we straighten him out and make him a dog a chav would be proud to own. He was supposed to put the fear of god into anyone who crossed his path. Instead they roll out on the floor laughing at him.
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18-12-09, 04:16 PM
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#2 |
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2003
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
Don't bother trying, just buy him a pink bandana and call him Sparky.
  EDIT: For reference http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA191_.jpg
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Last edited by Luckypants; 18-12-09 at 04:25 PM. |
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18-12-09, 04:17 PM
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#3 |
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Guest
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
well i dunno if you gonna be able to make him straight... but my gay basset might be the answer
 he, like your son's staffie also tries to hump all the neighbourhood dogs. said dog owners do laugh at him but only cos he a bassett!
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18-12-09, 04:19 PM
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#4 |
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Join Date: Mar 2004
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
Daft sod called it Rocky. I keep thinking of Frank N. Furter's creation
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18-12-09, 04:25 PM
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#5 |
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Where the hell am I?
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Swingin' thru the urban jungle
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
With a large hammer? Thats what i usually turn to when i need to turn bent things a little more straight.
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18-12-09, 04:28 PM
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#6 |
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ex motorcyclist
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
Someone should write a screenplay about you and your familly Tim. I can see Ricky Tomlinson playing you and Mackenzie Crook, who plays Gareth Keenan in "The Office" as your son.
Oh, and as for the dog, it's like a Frankie Boyle gag, "My dog will beat your dog" "Oh, yeah, well my dog will F**k your dog!" Pete 
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18-12-09, 04:30 PM
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#7 |
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Join Date: Mar 2004
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
Screen play about my family my arse
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18-12-09, 04:37 PM
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#8 |
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
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18-12-09, 04:38 PM
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#9 |
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Guest
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
buy a new one.
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18-12-09, 05:01 PM
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#10 | ||
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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
Like ancient Gladiators, dogs use humping as a way of showing dominance over other males. I was shocked when I found out what Russell Crow should have been doing in that film, but then I guess it would have been a little more specialist!
 If the dog is gay (and scientific studies have shown homosexuality to exist in other species) then I can assure you, it can't be "fixed". I used to see a therapist a few years ago who specialised in treating the so called sexual disorders and he assured me that it is not possible to "cure" homosexual feelings and he had been trying since he first qualified in the 50s, when it was still illegal to be openly gay in this country. Your dog and you may just have to do what I did and just get used to it. If you believe in God, you just have to accept that God made us (your dog and I) gay.  By the way, my therapist was also a Church of England Vicar and telling him (aged nearly 80) what I got up to, was really quite odd, but that is another story. 
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