I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

First off Congratulations!

I think Fenjer has given some brilliant advice (and dizzy was typing this when she replied) .......My brother in law pays for his daughter via the CSA and yet her mother has stopped him seeing her (about 5 years ago shortly after his wedding to my sister). He hates the fact that he has to pay yet doesn't see his daughter.

I think you are right in the fact you buried your head, as we are all guilty for doing at different points in our life.

I really do hope things work out for you Tony in building a relationship with your daughter, as a female I would be a different person without the relationship I have with my dad. If what her mother has said and she is starting to ask questions means that she wants to know you (I know she will be very young) which may be a better time to start building a relationship, before gets to an age when it could be harder.

Life throws these things at us now and again to see how we cope! I think you will be great at this

x

[Stingo]

I'm not one to pass judgement on anybody in sensitive areas such as these...but I would excercise caution when using that form of document as an internet avatar. I'm not meaning to sound like a ****...it's just that you never know who's reading these things...and I know that there are rules about those documents.

Originally Posted by dizzyblonde

BTW, not all mums instill evil things into the minds of their children, this one doesn't.

I didn't mean to imply that they all did DB, sorry! Just more often than not it does descend into this state of affairs.

Hopefully things will be ok in this situation and there is the chance for C_A to build a good relationship with his daughter.

Originally Posted by Stingo

I'm not one to pass judgement on anybidy in sensitive areas such as these...but I would excercise caution when using that form of document as an internet avatar. I'm not meaning to sound like a ****...it's just that you never know who's reading these things...and I know that there are rules about those documents.

If it is banned I will remove it, but, it isn't from my job, it was from a job...

Originally Posted by fenjer

I didn't mean to imply that they all did DB, sorry! Just more often than not it does descend into this state of affairs.

Hopefully things will be ok in this situation and there is the chance for C_A to build a good relationship with his daughter.

I hope I can foster something close to good relationship with my daughter after all that has gone on...

[dizzyblonde]

Originally Posted by Cymraeg_Atodeg

Wow, that is deep DB. And thanks, you have given me a lot to think about and I want to do right by my daughter, even if that is just paying for her and no knowing her.

I have to do the best for her now, not me or the mother, but her

No worries. It can be pretty stressing from both sides really.
Children and these sort of situations I have very strong feelings about, and if I can help by explaining my experience, I'll openly say something.

I do have a close friend, who had a son when he was quite young. Unfortunately he wasn't told when he was born and didn't know much of him until he was about four. Although the mother never wanted him involved he always sent him a xmas card, and present without fail every year. The lad is now 18 and they have a marvellous relationship. His son made the decision when he was old enough to come find my mate.
My friend also stands by my decision over my son, even though he has had it from the other side of the coin.
Every tale has its different sides, you just have to work at it as best you can.
Hopefully, if you are patient, you can make something work, and have an acceptable relationship with your daughter. Don't expect it all your own way, give and take a little, it will be hard, and always have her best interests at heart.

You obviously have the right attitude about it, if I believed in God I'd pray for you and your daughter. Instead I'll just say good luck again here. Good luck!

Originally Posted by dizzyblonde

No worries. It can be pretty stressing from both sides really.
Children and these sort of situations I have very strong feelings about, and if I can help by explaining my experience, I'll openly say something.

I do have a close friend, who had a son when he was quite young. Unfortunately he wasn't told when he was born and didn't know much of him until he was about four. Although the mother never wanted him involved he always sent him a xmas card, and present without fail every year. The lad is now 18 and they have a marvellous relationship. His son made the decision when he was old enough to come find my mate.
My friend also stands by my decision over my son, even though he has had it from the other side of the coin.
Every tale has its different sides, you just have to work at it as best you can.
Hopefully, if you are patient, you can make something work, and have an acceptable relationship with your daughter. Don't expect it all your own way, give and take a little, it will be hard, and always have her best interests at heart.

Unfortunately I don't even know where my daughter lives, so, cards and presents might be a bit tough, but, over time I am sure I can become part of her life, even if it means being amicable to the mother while the true feelings boil underneath

Originally Posted by hongman

You obviously have the right attitude about it, if I believed in God I'd pray for you and your daughter. Instead I'll just say good luck again here. Good luck!

If God was with me, this would all be different! lol

[Stingo]

Originally Posted by Cymraeg_Atodeg

If it is banned I will remove it, but, it isn't from my job, it was from a job...



..

The job or why you have it is irrelevant I feel. It is a document that is used to access MOD land in a specific area and as such is bound by certain rules as is the person who possess such documents. If it is not yours then it should be handed in to the nearest police station rather than published on an internet forum.

I don't have it anymore, I gave it back when I left

I shall mod it accordingly to make it useless to the taliban now...

[dizzyblonde]

Originally Posted by lily

My brother in law pays for his daughter via the CSA and yet her mother has stopped him seeing her (about 5 years ago shortly after his wedding to my sister). He hates the fact that he has to pay yet doesn't see his daughter.

The CSA is a funny one, can never understand it sometimes, or they way they seem to operate.
I for one have never had them involved, even when money has been tight, I've refused their services.