Abortion

Originally Posted by Magnum

I cannot be sure though, having not been in the situation to adopt, but i can only assume it would be a very different feeling having a child that is not biologically your own.

I have 3 kids, 2 of which are by another father, before I met their mother. The eldest I've known since he was 2 years old, and there's no difference whatsoever in feelings.

I edited my previous post to expand on information a little BTW.

Originally Posted by Baph

I have 3 kids, 2 of which are by another father, before I met their mother. The eldest I've known since he was 2 years old, and there's no difference whatsoever in feelings.

I edited my previous post to expand on information a little BTW.

But that's you-I don;t know how I'd feel if I couldn't have a child that was genetically mine-but it would be a disaster to think you could and then couldn't.

Originally Posted by shonadoll

But that's you

And that also wasn't the reason for me posting about my kids. That was to show that a child is a child, and surely anyone who wanted children would treat all children under their care in the same way (in a perfect world without ... can't find a U-rated word to explain...). I treat other kids in the same manner as I do my own (only without the hugs/kisses etc - other parents would probably get quite angry at that )

Originally Posted by shonadoll

but it would be a disaster to think you could and then couldn't.

Granted, it would.

That doesn't change the fact that you have limited options in that circumstance. Either don't have a child, adopt a child that clearly needs it, or IVF. There's only one choice with a guaranteed end result - ie, not having a child, which most wouldn't want to do.

Then it comes down to how much you want a child, compared to how much you want your child. I see the latter as the greedy option. That's just my personal view.

All my posts in this thread, I've been trying to keep my answers limited because of my feelings on the subject(s) involved. I've been lucky enough to have my own son, I've technically adopted two others, I've been in a relationship where a miscarriage has happened, I know a couple of people that have had abortions (most of whom were before I had kids mind).

Like I said before, I used to be pro-choice. I'm now anti-abortion unless there's extreme circumstances (ie, the woman didn't consent to the act involved to get pregnant). If you undertake in consenting actions, there are consequences that you should be aware of, and prepared for.

Baph - I haven't been there, IVF I mean. We did do several goes at IUI. At the time we lived in Cornwall, I vividly remember being asked to jack off in the loo at Derriford Hospital, Plymouth. I could even tell you the date, but I won't. The nurse gave me a porn magazine 'to help me'. It was simply disgusting, humiliating. And after that the $hit who was my line manager insisted that I go back to work for the rest of the day, all 3 hours of it - I can even remember the time. And it didn't work, we still don't know why. We were offered IVF but we didn't like the idea at all and anyway we couldn't cope with any more stress. So we turned it down.

There. I've said things which I had buried deeper than I could ever have imagined.

I havent bothered to read the 13 pages of debate, so this might have been said...

Right or wrong is a moral claim that each person needs to justify to themselves in each separate situation. so IMO you cant really say if its right or wrong as there will be cases where you think its right and others agree and others disagree and vice verca. Choice or no choice on the other hand is a more definable question and I am pro choice, but that again dosent meen I am pro abortion. I can hold the vaild possition, which i THINK i do, that abortion is probably not ideal and other avenues could be explored, but still think that its the womans choice.

As the woman is the master of her body, she ultimatly has the final say in what it does. My personal experiance of abortion has only been of possitive outcomes, yet I am still unsure on my personal view, except to say that I am pro choice.

[flymo]

Wow Baph, you have your right to your personal views but I cant help but feel that there are other views and perspectives that should be taken into account.

I know some friends who went through the heartache of trying to conceive a child, they became increasingly stressed and desperate for their own child. In my view it is perfectaly acceptable to decide that you want your own biological child, it in no way devalues the life of another child that requires adoption.

When actually in that position, a couple would likely not see a few thousand pounds as an obstacle. Money is the last thing on your mind when you are desperate for a child.

I dont know the details of your personal position and circumstances but dude, I seriously hope you dont end up regretting not talking to your brother one day in the future.