The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

Originally Posted by pawl

lmho

is that short for "laugh my hat off" ?

[Dave20046]

Originally Posted by missyorkie_chris

is that short for "laugh my hat off" ?

No it's 'harse' he's posh

ha ha
spiffing chaps

he he

[Essex of Essex]

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence lawyer during a trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'



The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

[Dave20046]

good'n would hope it's real

have you hear the irish chatup line
your mum and dad must be retards
cos your special

Jade Goody, Patrick Swayze and Wendy Richards are to appear in panto at Xmas time....









































"Oh No they're not"

Five secrets for a perfect relationship:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman you can trust and whom would never lie.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.

5. It's absolutely fookin vital that these four bitches don't know each other.

Originally Posted by pawl

Five secrets for a perfect relationship:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman you can trust and whom would never lie.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.

5. It's absolutely fookin vital that these four bitches don't know each other.

I put pretty much the same thing up for men a while back, got it on a magnet

sorry MYC! ive looked at maybe 100pages randomly, didnt see anything similar, its a belter though eh!