The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

Originally Posted by Beenz

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

[Stingo]

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man asked, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered, and walked on.
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man replied......













"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Originally Posted by Stingo

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man asked, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered, and walked on.
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man replied......













"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Oh no, that's a real stinko, Stingo!

Originally Posted by Triumphumphumph

Oh no, that's a real stinko, Stingo!

wheres cuffy

[Spiderman]

Originally Posted by Stingo

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man asked, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered, and walked on.
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man replied......













"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

OH DEAR GOD!!!! i'm gonna speak to the mods and see if we cant ban you on the grounds of insanity. No sane person would find that funny would they?

[Stingo]

Ah - I see you've heard about my er 'problem' then...

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a blonde woman from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."
By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

Your best post for ages Hovis, nice one!

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."