What makes you fart alot?

[Bluepete]

Good for your stomach
Good for your heart
the more you eat
the more you fart!

Give people diabetic peppermints if you want a musical chorus,they taste the same but don't leave them about with laxative chocolate unless you want complete chaos

The worst stink I have ever produced (and I rarely produce a smelly guff) was after eating a Southern Fried flavour Pot Noodle . Now I NEVER eat these things but decided to try it . I quietly dropped a "pebble" in the foyer at work and sauntered off , mere seconds later there were women and children scrambling for lifeboats and men leapfrogging over them to get out .

BUT ..... the most rockingest Fart ever was the famous "Xmas Fart of `89" . I was in 6th form at the time doing my A levels . We were on the last day of school before we broke up for the Xmas break . Two days previously I had been seriously overdoing it with Hovis Country Grain bread , toasted to perfection with a thick smear of Marmite on top . I was caning it so badly that I was doing a loaf a day (serious Marmite habit) .

Anyhoooo , I was sat in Biology and it felt like somebody was stirring my intestines with a broken beer bottle , my mate Sion was asking me if I was allright as I was doubled up on my chair . I leaned forward and felt this searing pain and thought I was having a baby ........ then the "ubble" started in my intestines and I let out this silent and Looooooong fart , I swear I dropped 2 inches off my waist size . Sion turned around to talk to me and was actually sick in his mouth , good job we had those sinks built into the worktops of most Biology labs . We were sat at the back of the class and you could see wave after wave of people turning around and giving the row behind an accusing look .

There were waves of people going "errrrrrr that`s minging" , by now the teacher has even smelt it and she`s scribbling away on the board when her chalk snaps and she spins around and asks if any of the bunsen burner taps are open ........ I`m at the back sliding off the chair wetting my pants and laughing like Muttley . Strange thing is , after 2 weeks holiday , the first lesson was Biology , and we are convinced we could still smell it lingering .................. Happy Days

Pretty much anything - but you already knew that Vix!

But for a stonker - it has got to be a roast dinner, parsnips & cabbage...yeah baby!

My ringpiece

[dirtydog]

Carrot cake does it for me, even worse wa when i had some wholemeal carrot cake

LMAO at BADGER

I dont need anything in particular...it just happens...alot

The other night, after peri-peri chicken and coleslaw, I was lying on the couch watching the goggle box. My mate thinks it's ok to use my hip as a pillow and rest herself on top of me. I let go a rip roaring fart from the depths of my insides that rattled her right boob that was pushed up against my bum. Better than any game of dutch ovens!

Originally Posted by ArtyLady

I dont need anything in particular...it just happens...alot

So in that case,hows about changing your name to Fartylady?

Two feet