Cruel newbie jokes

We used to set the steering and suspension on test vehicles up using a device a bit like a fancy spirit level, where you set the bubble in the liquid at the right point for the angle. We convinced one of the new placement students that the device he was using contained the bubbles for a 16 tonne truck, whereas this was a 24 tonne truck. He duly obliged and went off to the instrumentation area to exchange the bubbles for the 24 tonne ones, coming back with a rather sheepish look on his face 10 minutes later.

Inevitably, for the rest of his summer placement he was affectionately called "bubbles" by all the technicians in the workshop.

[timwilky]

Originally Posted by Well Oiled

We used to set the steering and suspension on test vehicles up using a device a bit like a fancy spirit level, where you set the bubble in the liquid at the right point for the angle. We convinced one of the new placement students that the device he was using contained the bubbles for a 16 tonne truck, whereas this was a 24 tonne truck. He duly obliged and went off to the instrumentation area to exchange the bubbles for the 24 tonne ones, coming back with a rather sheepish look on his face 10 minutes later.

Inevitably, for the rest of his summer placement he was affectionately called "bubbles" by all the technicians in the workshop.

Pity North works would have gone by then. All pups in the training centre used to be sent over the road to meet Albert. If he didn't scare them the trousers off them, the hags in nozzle shop would have had them ripped off. (You need to have worked at Leyland to understand)

[maviczap]

H'mm some good ones along with the old classic 'Long weight' & adjustable screwdriver

We did a wind up that lasted a month on an old boy. We convinced him that our team was going to be disbanded and he was going to be sent to the most boring job going. Got the boss & the boss above him on the joke.

We planned an end of team booze up and he was telling everybody in the building about it.

He turned up and was duly presented with his certificate and trophy for the biggest wind up! We still had the booze up. What made it funny was apart from how long the wind up continued for, and how he never cottoned onto the wind up, but he was the biggest wind up merchant going.

I also nearly got him with a fake invite to a Taco Bell opening in Covent Garden email, as all he would go on about was why Taco Bell didn't have any outlets in the UK. Proper spoof email, back ground & company logo. He was on the point of booking a train ticket!

[Spiderman]

mmm taco bell. So bad its good. Are there any left in the UK then?

[maviczap]

No, that was the joke, when I did this there weren't any outlets

Don't think there ever was?

[Spiderman]

there was one in Wembly me and my mates used to go to after getting home from a rave at 10am. But that was many years ago now. Shame.

Sorry for the derail..

[maviczap]

Perhaps I'll send him there He is a mate of mine, but we do like a good wind up

[Spiderman]

its just another of those chicken takeaways now sadly there is a great mexican that is far superior to taco bell that i go to in london now so if you wanna treat him to decent food send him there...but then thats no kind of wind up really is it.

There have been several classics at my work in the time I havebeen there.

Best two as follows:

1) Salute the Union Jack across road from station at 1400 hours every Sunday morning ( A probationer Cop did this)

2) Waving the Helimed into the landing area with two table tennis paddles (again, a probationer did this.)

They got me with the old, This is DI Anderson....when it was actually a civillian CCTV operator...

We dont do anything cruel, we just take them out for lunch and make sure they feel welcome