What is your philosophy in life?

Originally Posted by Bri w

Here's one huge positive for you, and you might not be able to see it.

You're only 30. God do I wish I was only 30, with the physical strength and fitness that goes with it. I would love to be able to still be playing footie and rugby.

At 31, 1989, and 11 yrs into a marriage that appeared to be drifting my then wife and I went our seperate ways. The first few months were fantastic - peace and quiet. But at the end of the rugby season it was too quiet - like way way too quiet. So what next?

I got the trainers on and went running - not quite Forrest Gump but I did rack up the miles. And when Sept came round I enroled in night school and got more qualifications but more importantly I got a whole load of new friends that didn't disappear at the end of term.

Within a couple of years I had more quals, a better job, more friends and still had the rugby.

The transistional period wasn't fun but getting off my @rse iand diving into classes achieved far more than I'd hoped for. And in the quiet times I picked up a book and studied.

HTH

Good luck

Bri thank you

I have started running and going to the gym. Have already been there Wednesday and Thursday. Will probably go on Saturday and Sunday as there isn't much else on the cards at the moment.

Never been a gym person but decided I had to get fit again and also use the socialising aspect of it........not there yet as many seem to put their headphones on and just run

As you say the problem is when things get too quiet! Then the thoughts come in and the mood drops.

Its my impatience more than anything else that then makes me loose hope when a relapse occurs and these can be triggered from anything.

Originally Posted by G

Go back packing... then realise how much everything really matters, which is not a lot.

G I don't think I could do that. I would feel really lonely........at least at this point in time.

I like the security of the medical support and also family (over the phone) and friends

Originally Posted by slark01

Have a goal and concentrate on doing that.

Totally. I was about to say, work towards something to occupy yourself, like learn an instrument. I think photography is good, because it really helps you concentrate on the beautiful things in life.

Originally Posted by Bri w

Here's one huge positive for you, and you might not be able to see it.

You're only 30. God do I wish I was only 30

BOOM! First thing that came to my head! My parents are almost double your age, and I keep thinking "No, don't eat chocolate and be lazy, go achieve something, exercise! Think of all the people whom can't because they're missing limbs, or disabled. Maybe you know someone like this that can inspire you? Either way, check this guy out, sometimes I think of people like him when I think I have it bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HG...eature=related

Originally Posted by G

Go back packing... then realise how much everything really matters, which is not a lot.

The world is a big place. And I mean, BIG. The place where you live and people you know are a blink in the planet. There's so much to see, and if you're not happy where you are, try moving! Get a job somewhere new maybe. It may not pay as well, but you have one life, and one opportunity to see the planet and all it has to offer.



Or, hey presto, mix it all together! You have a bike? Go see the world and take some amazing snaps, maybe even discover somewhere you want to move to!

Allan

when I watch such videos it only makes me think WHY don't I have the strength to face this situation? So it just makes me feel weak and a bit of a failure

But I am drifting from the point of the thread; My philosophy is to take any opportunity given, and if none are given, make some, even if it takes time like earning qualifications. "Carpe Diem", because there are always going to be people who are worse off, and would give anything to be healthy or have shelter for their family. My sister is disabled, and whenever I am sitting on my bum doing not so much, I think to myself what she'd give to be able to live life as fully as I can- so why do I do nothing with this opportunity?

On that note, I'm off to play some guitar! Best of luck my friend

Originally Posted by 600+

Allan

when I watch such videos it only makes me think WHY don't I have the strength to face this situation? So it just makes me feel weak and a bit of a failure

You do you do you do! My mum is clinically depressed, and she moped around the house a lot (don't tell her I said that!), but she realised the good things aren't just going to appear, and you're not going to have the motivation when you wake up, it's a slow process! It doesn't just pop up, she had to realise it WAS all possible for her, and nothing would change if she kept telling herself it's too much! She started taking Spanish at a local college, and is now looking into work as a travelling linguist!

I'm babbling a bit, but I also think trying to be healthy really makes me happy generally! I don't eat particularly well, but I do exercise, and I generally feel much more alert, sharper, awake, and giddy when I'm exercising than when I'm not. And as an example, I don't imply going on detox and joining a rugby and football team, I mean something like (what I did) cutting out chocolate, and doing throw events in athletics. Doesn't require much effort, but it gets you out, and can lead to bigger things in the long run. Also, the athletics crowd (compared to other sports, in my opinion) are generally so so nice, and if you're worried about rocking-up to a sports club and being looked at by young'uns (I was) the athletics teams have many older peeps (my coach is like, a gazillion years old and still throws) and you compete in classes depending on your age, so you can still beat everyone with the age multipliers (like, embarrassingly for me, my coach does). A 45-year old guy just joined, and he's doing very well already from scratch, just because he made the two hours a week to come and throw.
After a few months, maybe even weeks, I'd bet you felt a bit differently just for changing a few small things like that. From there, you may take up long-distance walks and cut out sweeties, etcetera. But the sooner you give it a go, the sooner you'll discover what works for you!

It is encouraging to see once again that so many people have been or are going through the same thing as I am.

If we could all put together the strength we have and sort of manage to push it all away and come out the other end of the tunnel

More my old man's philosophy, but usually cheers me up - "Don't let the buggers get you down."

600+, I've got two mates who are going through similar stages in their lives and facing the problems that divorces, kids leaving home and clinical depression can bring. All I can say is they are getting through it. Focusing on one or two items and working towards them with baby steps is helping them. Relying on your mates and talking about how you feel to a trained psychologist has also helped them a lot.

In terms of my philosophy on life....nothing revelatory."Work hard and be nice to nice people, what goes around come around".

You'll get through it and be stronger on the side.