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Old 16-03-06, 08:16 PM   #11
fizzwheel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by philipMac
We live on a nice very quiet, cul de sac.

There is this guy who drives down it in his RETARDED pimped out Civic, with its banging music, to pick up his ho at about 11 or 12 EVERY NIGHT. And, he skids up to her house, beeping his horn, and revving his poxy little engine.

Every night.

And, then he just sits there. Car running. Chatting with said Ho.

And, then, if he ever goes into the house, and switches off the engine, he has to warm it up again.

And, I am not messing here, he will warm it up for anything up to an hour. We have gone out to the supermarket, done the shopping, come back, car still there, unmoved, warming up.

Pie in the face.
Can a brick be attached to the pie?
Follow him back to his house, then sit outside it and "warm your SV" a few times, he'll soon get the mesage
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Old 16-03-06, 08:19 PM   #12
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Well given the chance naturally it has to be the pugalistic John Prescott - I mean who else?
Well OK, but I hope you've got your escape route planned... It was a very disappointing day when he didn't batter the **** out of that guy from Chumbawumba. No matter the result, everyone wins...

I'm not sure who I'd pie. There are a few contenders.I'd quite like to pie the dalai lama... Not that he deserves it, but you have to admit it'd be funny.
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Old 16-03-06, 08:22 PM   #13
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PhilipMac - you have a very special way with words Can barely contain my self!

Me? Well, right now it has to be the customer services manager of Suzuki GB! Next week? *shrugs shoulders* Who knows? That bloke at your place Phil - does he come down here often - every night not 20 feet down the road some twerp in his thump thump thump chavmobile has the audacity to honk his 'attention getter' at around 10 o'clock!! Don't know how many times I've seen my insides on the outside! ****!!
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Old 16-03-06, 08:26 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fizzwheel
Follow him back to his house, then sit outside it and "warm your SV" a few times, he'll soon get the mesage
I shall have to get my pipes sorted out for this option.
I am thinking about the nails post. Thing is, they might get scattered about the place, and I end up knackering my tyres while I am at it.

The worst part is the anticipation. You hear him revving down the block, you hear the big skid in, you hear the bangin tunes, and you are waiting for the horn...

Aaaand there it is...

And you are waiting the next revving section....

Ahhh. Yesss. Rev that little crap engine.

There is one problem, he is a very substantial sort of guy. And.. em, there was sort of a gang fight outside the house, and he was sort of beating the crap out of an bingin SUV with a baseball bat.

Shortly afterwards someone was shot about two blocks away.

So. There are reasons that I would like him to not know its me. If you know what I mean.
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Old 16-03-06, 08:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by northwind
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonboy
Well given the chance naturally it has to be the pugalistic John Prescott - I mean who else?
Well OK, but I hope you've got your escape route planned... It was a very disappointing day when he didn't batter the **** out of that guy from Chumbawumba. No matter the result, everyone wins...

I'm not sure who I'd pie. There are a few contenders.I'd quite like to pie the dalai lama... Not that he deserves it, but you have to admit it'd be funny.
Prescott battered that muppet from Chumbawumba? Sound.

Bugger.
Do I like John Prescott now?


I think I might be developing a soft spot for him.

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Old 16-03-06, 09:01 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by philipMac
Prescott battered that muppet from Chumbawumba? Sound.
Nah, he reined it in just before he rearranged his head. A shame.
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Old 16-03-06, 09:07 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by northwind
Quote:
Originally Posted by philipMac
Prescott battered that muppet from Chumbawumba? Sound.
Nah, he reined it in just before he rearranged his head. A shame.
Didnt he have a bit of a ruck with someone else recently though?
I seem to remember something along those lines.

I wouldnt mind seeing John Lydon getting a good pieing. Even despite him being a Paddy.

He is right up his own bum hole these days. He thinks he is still punk. But he is not. Saying rude words doesnt quite cut it any more pal.

Oh oh. Or Quwith Eubank. Oh Jesus. That would be classic.

What aah you doing young man?
Why do ye thubject me to thith?

He would slap you the mother and father of all digs to the head though.
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Old 16-03-06, 09:20 PM   #18
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Jeremy Clarkson. Oh no wait..........too late!
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Old 16-03-06, 09:23 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graeme1841
Jeremy Clarkson. Oh no wait..........too late!
See, Clarkson would just laugh at you.
You want someone to be all sort of... gasp, pie, ME??? but but, everyone loves me. How could this be so? I am such a cool bloke!
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Old 16-03-06, 09:24 PM   #20
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Pretty much any one of the US immigration officers I've ever dealt with. I travel out there a couple of times a year on business and I have to say they are the most sour-faced bunch of jobsworths I have ever come across.

Once I get past them all the other people I deal with in the States are really friendly and polite. I think the 'must keep out potential terrorists' thing has gone right to their heads.

Hope they don't read this - I'm out there next week :P
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