A day of troublesome Toilet activity - Warning!!!!!

Only have Ice Cream that can be applied like a soothing Balm . I am going to risk going to bed now , but I`m leaving the bedroom door open in case I have to move very quickly . The Badgeress finishes work at 7am and is bringing me some Immodium and a goody bag , bless her

aww

and good luck ure going to need it

[Swin]

GWS - I had something similar a couple of weeks ago, couldn't get out of my bike gear quick enough and I'm sure I left a kidney floating...

lol GWS MR B

what I would say though is stop drinking milk and eating Alpen as they are part of your problem and not helping you get better.

rice just boiled is what you need to eat

Originally Posted by xXBADGERXx

Oh my god , I want this to end , when will the Horror end ?

Don't want to be the bringer of doom, but it does sound like some sort of food poisoning and not the little pill mate. Annnnnd, as for how long it's gonna last. I went to egypt a few years ago with work. I didn't drink anything but bottled water and didn't eat anything that wasn't cooked, so no salads blah, blah, blah. The third and last day I was there I woke up with a gurgling stomach and thought it was probably just hunger. Went to breakfast and a walk before the cab came to pick me up for the airport. Bad mistake. Half way round the block and I thought I was gonna carp myself. Did the old penguin shuffle witha cold sweat running down my face. Managed to get back to the hotel and proceded with the evacuation. I had to manage a five hour flight back to the UK and a two hour taxi journey back home. I had buns of steel after keeping them clenched for 8 hours. I didn't dare move for the entire journey. I had a thousand yard stare that any motor racer would have been proud of. Anyway, the point of this missive is.......I was carping through the eye of a needle for a month. I was getting to the stage were I thought I would never have a solid carp ever again. 30 days and counting Badger!

Sympathy here, the last two weeks or so I have more than once staggered out of the bathroom looking shellshocked and just collapsed on the bed, having just lost about 15lbs of weight. I think on one occasion I gave myself hemmoroids such was the sheer quantity.

[Jayneflakes]

On a serious note, constant use of the toilet like this can cause dehydration. Stop eating and start drinking. Take the immodium and also try a dehydration sachet too, it will help replace the essential salts that you have lost.

If it does not stop soon, you will need to see you GP.

A friend of mine caught Giardia a while back while on a climbing exped, he said the most soothing thing was when after a few days of ring sting a stray dog in the Himalaya came up behind him a cleaned his bottom for him. He was too ill to protest, poor guy. After that story I decided that I did not fancy Everest Base Camp after all!

Ahhh Badger if it's any consolation you gave me a good old laugh this morning...in fact i haven't laughed that much since...ummm, well since I went to see Michael McIntyre last night in fact

GWS won't you, and if it all gets too much there is always Imodium

[appollo1]

well i am sat in work laughing out loud after just reading this.

sorry Badger but that is so funny - i know it wasn't funny for you but the description was fantastic.

drink lots of water and bung yourself up with Immodium - don't take too many though or you may get too bunged up.


thanks for cheering me up

Bisto--thats the answer--something that browns and thickens.

Poor Badger,thats the best part of him gone


Appart from your plight best comedy thread for ages.