How do I straighten a gay dog? - Page 3 - SV650.org

Biker Biggles · 19-12-09, 03:36 PM

Think you have problems?My two Spaniels are twins and they sh&g each other stupid.The Jack Russell doesnt know where to look.

timwilky · 19-12-09, 07:13 PM

Yeah my Jack Russell had to warn Rocky away when he got amorous yesterday. A growl and snap to his throat that said "You are not getting anywhere near me with that thing".

Bri w · 19-12-09, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayneflakes

Well, it all started when I young and wanted to get married to the girl next door...

The rest of it is so dirty you will have to wait until my book comes out. I am half way through writing it, but I have to build my SV streetfighter, pass my test and go touring around Europe first, other wise chapters six through to eleven will be really boring.

"Oh No it won't" -- sorry, panto season

punyXpress · 19-12-09, 08:44 PM

Straightener

Any help?

19-12-09, 09:25 PM

Take him to the vet...
Ask the vet to put him on Tardak (which chemically castrates dogs)
If he stops humping things, chop his marshmallows off

If he doesnt then it wont be worth castrating him as it wont stop the behaviour (although I would recommend it anyway)

Bri w · 20-12-09, 10:01 AM

Maybe Rocky isn't gay but needs a visit to Specsavers. Does he hump cushions too = bad eyesight.

Imagine his disappointment if the majority of occasions he mounts something only for his tackle to miss the tunnel of lurve and either hit a dead end or find a tunnel of a hole different nature.

You could always educate using aversion therapy. Teach him that if he goes near anything smelling of Lynx he gets his tackle whacked with a wooden baking spoon but if he humps anything smelling of Chanel No5 he's free to get on with it.

Then, when out walking, you could spray the relevant sexed dog with x or y. It might be worth explaining to the other owners just what you're doing or you could either get your lights punched out or find your own garden gate getting taken off its hinges.

If you do go with the wooden spoon method it might be worth wearing a cricketer's box just in case you fall asleep in the chair and Rocky decides to exact revenge.

Good luck

timwilky · 20-12-09, 01:16 PM

At the end of the day, rocky and his confused sexuality is my lads problem.

Still I reckon that once he gets to use it properly he might just find the ladies are a far more interesting proposition.

Balky001 · 20-12-09, 01:30 PM

does he chase pussys? He may be bi/straight!!

I think it is a show of dominance rather than his preferred goal, a bit like a prison daddy...

19-12-09, 03:36 PM	#21
Biker Biggles Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Barnet Herts Posts: 5,071	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? Think you have problems?My two Spaniels are twins and they sh&g each other stupid.The Jack Russell doesnt know where to look. __________________ On a clear day we stand there and look further than the ordinary eye can see.

19-12-09, 07:13 PM	#22
timwilky Member Mega Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Not in Yorkshire. (Thank God) Posts: 4,116	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? Yeah my Jack Russell had to warn Rocky away when he got amorous yesterday. A growl and snap to his throat that said "You are not getting anywhere near me with that thing". __________________ Not Grumpy, opinionated.

19-12-09, 08:44 PM	#24
punyXpress Member Mega Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Riding, North Posts: 2,664	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? Straightener Any help? __________________ Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow - gone to a better? place Now: Street Triple R

19-12-09, 09:25 PM	#25
Von Teese Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? Take him to the vet... Ask the vet to put him on Tardak (which chemically castrates dogs) If he stops humping things, chop his marshmallows off If he doesnt then it wont be worth castrating him as it wont stop the behaviour (although I would recommend it anyway)

20-12-09, 10:01 AM	#26
Bri w Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Turre, Almeria Posts: 668	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? Maybe Rocky isn't gay but needs a visit to Specsavers. Does he hump cushions too = bad eyesight. Imagine his disappointment if the majority of occasions he mounts something only for his tackle to miss the tunnel of lurve and either hit a dead end or find a tunnel of a hole different nature. You could always educate using aversion therapy. Teach him that if he goes near anything smelling of Lynx he gets his tackle whacked with a wooden baking spoon but if he humps anything smelling of Chanel No5 he's free to get on with it. Then, when out walking, you could spray the relevant sexed dog with x or y. It might be worth explaining to the other owners just what you're doing or you could either get your lights punched out or find your own garden gate getting taken off its hinges. If you do go with the wooden spoon method it might be worth wearing a cricketer's box just in case you fall asleep in the chair and Rocky decides to exact revenge. Good luck __________________ *"It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years."* Currently - Fighting the urge... seen a nice Triumph America Previously - Honda CB125, Honda CB400-4 & BSA B40, Moto Guzzi 850, Yamaha RD250, Suzuki GT380, Kawasaki Z1B, Kawasaki Z650, Honda VFR, Triumph Street Triple R.

20-12-09, 01:16 PM	#27
timwilky Member Mega Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Not in Yorkshire. (Thank God) Posts: 4,116	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? At the end of the day, rocky and his confused sexuality is my lads problem. Still I reckon that once he gets to use it properly he might just find the ladies are a far more interesting proposition. __________________ Not Grumpy, opinionated.

20-12-09, 01:30 PM	#28
Balky001 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Leigh - on - Sea, Essex. Posts: 1,491	Re: How do I straighten a gay dog? does he chase pussys? He may be bi/straight!! I think it is a show of dominance rather than his preferred goal, a bit like a prison daddy... __________________ SV650SK3 - GSXR600K2 - GSXR750K6 - ZX636RC1H - HD Sportster 1200 - CBR600F 2012 - GSXR1000K7 - Triumph Bonneville T100 2019 - Aprilia Tuono 660

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