What is your philosophy in life?

Originally Posted by Terah

More my old man's philosophy, but usually cheers me up - "Don't let the buggers get you down."

My dad's philosophy as well The million $ question is how you not let them get you down?

Check out St. John's ambulance if you live in the U.K. too. Free first-aid training, and you the volunteer to go on stints at events. You have a new qualification, feel good because you're giving your time and skills to help others, and free entry to events (sometimes even music festivals!). AND, you can do further training through them if you like, or even through others! I know someone who is now training to be a paramedic because he loved it so much. Or, check out other volunteering prospectives. Makes me feel really "complete" helping others whom might not have the capacity to do so for themselves.

And, again, it's a great way to meet new people!

You're not alone, I'm sure there are lots of people who feel down, but they're divided by the half that stand up, chin-up and organise something to do and follow-through, and those whom stay sat feeling bad. A year down the line, there are two completely different people whom started in the same spot!

Originally Posted by The Idle Biker

"Work hard and be nice to nice people, what goes around come around".

"Work hard, and play ******* harder" is another one I stick to

[keith_d]

I split up with a long term girlfriend a few years ago. Being part of a couple you tend to end up with friends who are all in couples, so when you split up many of those friendships falter too. All of which leaves you with a lot more time on your hands than you're used to.

Having something to keep you busy is important until you find a new equilibrium. Some people throw all their effort into work, my sister's career rocketed when she split up with her hubby. I found I had time to take up some new hobbies including biking. Getting fit isn't a bad way to spend a couple of evenings a week, and evening classes are a nice way to meet people socially.

Keeping busy gives you time to settle down emotionally. (I don't think there's any substitute for time.) Once you're a bit more settled you gradually build up new mates and a new social life. There are a few more ups and downs than being in a couple (IMO) but it's your life to live as you choose.

Keith.

Time is a healer I know - the only issue is to give time to yourself.

That is where I'm struggling really. I want to get well now and be able to live life in full. Guess that is not going to happen that quickly so I need to settle in to this situation with a bit more ease

Pen and paper - and write things down. It worked for me when I lost my mum.
what annoys you, what you would like to do, things that make you smile, things that youw owuld love to do if you had the money. any type of heading and just go for it do an daily one one just when you are down.
find the things to be thankful for - health, age, the forum and use these to focus.

try and have a few mid/long term goals and you can work short into it
go try something that you thought you would never do - beauty therapy, massage, somethign creative, dance classes, circus skills many colleges will let you try and if you don't like it change. don't be afraid to walk into a room without your head held high yuo have the right to do anything that you want to (within reason)

as for philsophy - Life is too short to think what if. I want to live life without any regrets. try everything i want to one twice if i like!

and yes you change your philosophy - i did when my mum died it made me realise life was too short to keep saying 'I can't.' it took a while but I definatley at the 'Yeah maybe 'stage

Originally Posted by 600+

Time is a healer I know - the only issue is to give time to yourself.

That is where I'm struggling really. I want to get well now and be able to live life in full. Guess that is not going to happen that quickly so I need to settle in to this situation with a bit more ease

whats stopping you starting to live it to the full - start doing little bits - change happens slowly anyway. accept that it going to take time and start wokring on it now

I do recognise change needs time and it's only small steps.

I have taken up drumming which is something I always wanted to do....sayinng that I don't practice enough as I fear of being alone instead of being out with friends
I go to the gym to get fit again and healthier.
I have started building airfix models again which I used to do when I was back at school.
I go to church which I didn't used to only to meet people and be with people.
I've joined a members club to meet other people my age and do charity work.

The only thing stopping me is my depressed mood and my impatience to get well which then leads to loosing hope as it seems that I am not getting better fast enough.

[Bri w]

Originally Posted by 600+

I do recognise change needs time and it's only small steps.

I have taken up drumming which is something I always wanted to do....sayinng that I don't practice enough as I fear of being alone instead of being out with friends
I go to the gym to get fit again and healthier.
I have started building airfix models again which I used to do when I was back at school.
I go to church which I didn't used to only to meet people and be with people.
I've joined a members club to meet other people my age and do charity work.

The only thing stopping me is my depressed mood and my impatience to get well which then leads to loosing hope as it seems that I am not getting better fast enough.

Sounds like you are doing the right things, and your impatience is a sign you still care about yourself - take that as a positive.

A breakdown of a relationship leads you down the same route as a death, i.e. there is a greiving process to go through. You've got through the initial its falling apart, and the culture shock of actual break. And you've moved on to actually putting your life back together.

The frustration of things not happening quickly enough is part of the natural progression and as uncomfortable as it is it is 'normal.'

From a statistical point of view you are actually part of a silent majority. So the message is we've pretty much all been there, so don't focus on the pain, just keep yourself busy and life will actually take care of itself.